The stupidest thing I ever got “blamed” for (light hearted!)

[MrsExpo]

This morning I had to be up and out earlier than normal and left the house as DH was just getting up. After I left he made himself a couple of slices of toast for breakfast, buttered them then spread them liberally with tomato relish, (which he hates!!) instead of jam. He discovered the error on the first bite, of course.

Now, of course, the “blame” for this distressing experience lies squarely with me for daring to “buy red stuff in a jar but not telling him it wasn’t jam!!” ..... Anyone else done anything so terrible?

[Shinyletsbebadguys]

I often get accused (lightheartedly) by DP for setting traps in cupboards because he often has a tin fall on him or packets fall out of the cupboard he claims I have specifically set them for him and it's nothing to do with him being heavy handed when getting something...nooooo....absolutely not. It must be that I have balanced a tin in such a way that it doesnt fall on the DC or me or at any other time than when he is in the cupboard.

I'm embracing it and when he annoys me I tell him there is another trap set in the house.

[HavfrueDenizKisi]

Well, I was once on the receiving end of a phone call where a very stubborn and upset wife spent 10 minutes telling me I was having an affair with her husband! Then she spent another 5 mins telling my dad I was a homewrecker.

I was 15.

She had the wrong number.

Does this count?

[vampirethriller]

My father once accidentally took a dog wormer tablet thinking it was a vitamin and blamed me for leaving then in his cupboard. They were his dogs, who had died 13 years previous, and I didn't live there.

[LongPauseNoAnswer]

A neighbour once called my Mum to say that she was currently watching me pick the lock on her shed door with a hairpin and to come and fetch me before she called the police.

I was sitting beside my Mum on the sofa when she got the call so needless to say it wasn’t me!

[Mercedes519]

We buy Bonne Maman marmalade and apricot jam. It looks the same.

After several incidents my DH wrote “this is not apricot jam” on his —disgusting marmalade— lid in sharpie.

[sugarbum]

i got blamed by my DS (13) yesterday for 'letting his hair get too long'.

I'm not entirely sure how hair growth is my fault. I ask him probably once a fortnight if he wants it cutting.

[Samcro]

my car was egged one halloween. a neighbour said it was my own fault as I hadn't give out sweets. whilst letting my son T&T in the street.
my son was at his friends and had not done T&T in the street.

[TheFormerPorpentinaScamander]

My ex once said, in an accusatory tone, "I cant afford the maintenance this month. Its not my fault I have 5 other children to feed!"
I did point out that 2 of them weren't his, and if he didn't get his wife pregnant with the other 3 then maybe he should be questioning who did. Apparently that makes me a jealous bitch

[Bargebill19]

Apparently I managed to switch off the circuit breaker to the shed .... without exiting the car I was driving on to the drive at the time. Superwoman - that’s me.

[iklboo]

Ex blamed me for it starting to rain when we are a bus stop with no shelter. Apparently because I'd put a coat on and he hadn't.

[BashfulClam]

At 4 years old I was accused by a batshit neighbour of breaking into her house and putting bite marks in all her apples. So I had managed to get out of a locked house, go over to her house, sneak in and bite all her apples then leave again in the middle of the night. She was screeching at my mum on the doorstep who laughed then called her a ‘shitbag’. I’d never heard my mum swear!

[Gibble1]

I was accused of stealing my DM’s car whilst she was watching a play. A play that I and my sister were both in. I was 14 at the time.

[Frankincense88]

Last winter after many many months we had finally finished renovating our living room and were both enjoying a drink in front of the wood burner watching telly. DH swings his leg round off the footstool and proceeds to kick my can of diet coke (which was on a table) over onto the 3 day old carpet. Apparently if I hadn't insisted on having a second can of Diet Coke it never would have happened so the stain on the carpet was my fault 😂

[MrsExpo]

Really laughing at some of these. Thank goodness it’s not just my DH who’s got a somewhat warped idea of right and wrong.

[SimpleLife003]

I got blamed for giving the family computer viruses from watching porn... I was 13 at the time, my brother was 16 and he had told our mum it was me 😂🙄

[Justajot]

As a child, my parents and brother accused me of drawing on the carpet. They went through the whole "we just want you to be honest about it" thing. The next day my brother worked out that it was actually a shadow. Luckily it was a one-off, they were otherwise perfectly reasonable parents.

[FireUnderpants]

A current ongoing situation here is Fil accusing me of moving his bin out of his garage and losing it.

Because I have rabbits in my garden he thinks I must be using it. I've not been in his garage.

[RiftGibbon]

I've just been blamed for my 9 year old not remembering to tell me that a) trainers needed to be taken in to wear for PE
b) the trainers that were fine last term now don't fit

I should have known both these things and suggested we buy new trainers when we were out last week.

[BearSoFair]

Once had a customer blame me when she couldn't pick up her click and collect order in store...we were WHSmith, her order was with Ryman! I was 'incredibly unhelpful' apparently

[LadyCatStark]

I once opened the door to walk into our house at the same time as a (tiny) earthquake happened. DH blamed me for somehow making the house shake 🤨. I still joke that he blames me for everything, even the bloody Earth moving!

[Pipandmum]

On an overnight uni trip to France we went to a vineyard and all bought wine. Then that night we stole the glasses from the restaurant so we could drink it (we were staying in a big hostel). Some got quite drunk and the next day stayed on the bus and didn't do any tours and of course went back to the same restaurant for lunch!
For some reason the teachers blamed me for instigating the whole thing. I was a fairly goody two shoes student so thought my new found 'bad girl' rep hysterical.

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

I was accused of spreading (true) gossip about someone on a student trip. Subsequently ostracised and pretty much ignored by lots of the otjer people on the trip. Except it couldn't of been me, as i wasn't there, who eas also acknowledged.. But if it wasn't me, it would have to be one of the cool people. So it must of beer the outsider

[WinWinnieTheWay]

DH furiously asking me if I had blown out a candle while smoke billowed out from the microwave he had just been using.

[Anordinarymum]

I gave my bloke a pair of my jeggings to wear to work, instead of his jeans. He put them on and said 'they are a bit tight', and I said no - that's what they should look like..

Everyone at work took the piss out of him and when he came home that night I nearly had a seizure from laughing

[nancybotwinbloom]

I drink sparking water and my DH and DD constantly pinch it thinking it's lemonade.

They hate sparking water.

Regularly blamed for their mistake and being a dirty bitch