What do the majority of men really want from a marriage?

[Wornout8]

Feeling very disillusioned and cynical at the moment, I'm convinced far too many men think that marriage is about them being 'looked after' as in tidied up after and generally mothered.
In addition why do so many also place their own needs and wants above those of their families, especially their children? I know this is a huge generalization but I'm basing this on the experiences of people I know as well as my own.

I think it very much depends on their stage of life. Exh wanted to be married to me when we were in our 20's as he liked the idea of being married, of having children within marriage and buying a house together was easier financially.
Now on to his second marriage in his 60's and in ill health he wants someone who can look after him. He has always been a lazy person in all aspects of his life and his new wife seems to enjoy running around after him.

Dinner.

Looking back on my marriage, yes my exH loved me but he wanted wife and mother ie, housekeeper and child raiser, someone to do the drudgery whilst he became a manchild. I was young so didn't realise it but there were early comments on my 'childbearing' hips and a 'test' about how I put a duvet cover on. Now I can reflect he wanted a mother replacement. He rarely did much housework and cooking was oven food only and that was a rarity. Even after we split and still had to live together he expected his food cooked and housework to be done. He did admit he became my child rather than my partner.

My DP, things are much more equal. If he were to propose, I suspect it's because he loves me and wants a partner and someone to share his life with. I look after him and he looks after me. He said once he realised very young that what was the point in nice experiences if you don't have someone to share it with so for him, that is what marriage would be about.

@JaneJeffer

Dinner.

Cheap shot

Getting divorced after 23 years and four kids. Seems to me that my exH wanted a full- time housekeeper, nanny and professional woman all rolled into one! Not do-able so I pulled the plug. I have a great new partner who has a child (he’s widowed) but never, ever will I make the mistake of marrying again. In my opinion, marriage is a terrible deal for women: if you stay at home or work part- time to raise children you pay the price; if you don’t and you earn more than him, you have to pay him and get to see your kids less. It’s a no win situation. I’m happy to be getting divorced and will be staying that way! Men can’t help it, but they inevitably expect mothering in some way. They need us more than we need them. Thanks but no thanks!

Its varied surely? Its still expected as the norm for relationships, so some people do it out of expectation rather than want.

I want to marry my partner, not for romance or a big fancy party, but because we would eventually like a child together and I wouldn’t do that without being married. The promise of always being there, loving that person, wanting to spend the rest of your lives together etc doesn’t need marriage at all. But the financial protections are really important, including things like pensions, inheritance etc.

People think its a milestone they must do. All their friends are doing it and they must keep up with their peers.

My ex wanted to be mothered
He genuinely believed that child rearing and housework was 100% my job