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Original poster

13yo son going bloody mad for GTA-help me argue my case!

29 replies

Boscoforever · 26/10/2020 19:15

I won't allow any support of prostitution, demeaning behaviour for women.
Everyone else has it, he has no one else to play with, his life is so boring...
He will not stop going on, and on, and on and on about it.
I'm ready to move out. Is everyone allowing their 13yo to play this?
I've told him I won't allow that kind of game full stop in my house.
AGH!!! Help me!

OP posts:
EnglishRose1320 · 26/10/2020 19:17

My ds is 15 and doesn't have it, none of his friends play it either. He tends to play a mix of different games from steam, he always checks with me before he gets a new one and the oldest I've let him have is a 16. No real advice about how to get him to understand I'm afraid, but just to say I definitely agree with you.

Tyzz · 26/10/2020 19:24

My DSs asked for this at the same age. Everyone else had it of courseHmm. I stuck with my decision and never gave in though I did allow other games while they were underage.
As teens wanting to push the boundaries I always let them know I would listen to their case and think about it. With GTA I was adamant nothing would change my mind and they must have seen they would never make me budge.
They're adults now - I'll ask them what they think in hindsight Wink

MrsWooster · 26/10/2020 19:24

I’m in such a temper over my dc over gaming at the moment that I am just going to project my rage and suggest you tell him that his choices are Age appropriate games OR lose all consoles. His choice.

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13 year olds
Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 26/10/2020 19:27

DS (now 18) whinged for GTA at about that age. I said no. Repeatedly. He still talks to me. And he still doesn’t own GTA.

EmeraldShamrock · 26/10/2020 19:28

I was surprised to hear in a quiz it is the most popular online game as a popular car game excluding the violence.
I don't have any advice on getting him off it unfortunately most 13y.o unless interested in sports are playing online games.
I think call of duty is worse the majority of boys 11/12 in DD's class has dropped fortnite for call of duty.
Not letting him start may have been better he will grow out of it. Can you allow set hours.

feministfemme · 26/10/2020 19:28

Has he witnessed the gameplay / played it already while at a friend's? I had the game when I was about his age, but my preference was more for the shooting and fast cars. Also played it with my husband and my dad, but it's your personal preference on if you're comfortable with certain elements of the game or not.

pastandpresent · 26/10/2020 19:30

My ds 12 is a gamer, but I won't let my child play 18+ rated games until he is 18.

jdoejnr1 · 26/10/2020 19:31

My son tried this, he doesn't have it and won't till he's at least 15.

namechangedyetagain · 26/10/2020 19:35

My DS is 13, luckily he hasn't asked for this game, but I think he knows my stance. I wouldn't argue my case with him. He's not 18, he's still a child and my answer would be a straight no. But then I think I'm quite a harsh mother WinkGrin

Original poster
Boscoforever · 26/10/2020 19:36

Thank you for the support. My DH has taken him in hand, I was only in the door from work and he was bombarding me...that tactic didn't work!Grin
I just feel the line has to be drawn somewhere and I feel it is here. I don't like the violence to women-the fact it is an 'option' (Hmm) is neither here nor there.

OP posts:
BellaVida · 26/10/2020 19:36

That’s the standard argument they all use. Just keep saying no and tell him that it doesn’t matter how many times he asks, the answer will be the same.

Maybe say you’ll consider an alternative (age appropriate) car game?

DramaAlpaca · 26/10/2020 19:36

This is one of those things about which you put your foot down and say No. And you stand your ground.

I wasn't too bothered about my boys playing FPS games but they were absolutely NOT allowed games featuring prostution or vile behaviour towards women. I've always been a fairly relaxed parent but I wasn't giving an inch on that one, and helpfully my DH backed me up.

Morgan12 · 26/10/2020 19:37

I think 13 is old enough to play gta. I played it at that age and so did all my friends and my DH. We all turned out ok.

He will have seen and heard worse on the internet. And I'm betting most his friends probably do have it.

You could get him in and allow him to play online only? That way he gets to play with his friends but he won't be playing the story mode option.

Online you make a character, join a gang (which would be his real life friends), do some robberies maybe, buy cars and houses, do street races. Will only see a prostitute if he goes looking for one.

acerred · 26/10/2020 19:39

"You are 13. The game is an 18. You are not 18".

That was the reply here, no discussion was had as it's not up for discussion. What helped is that I have always said no to anything above the actual age so no films or games with a higher age rating so they couldn't try the "But you let me watch...." argument.

Some things I discuss but that is not one of them, it's the battle I decided to have.

Crockof · 26/10/2020 19:42

I've relaxed once mine started year 9 (14) and allowed some 18. However it will be a cold day in hell before GTA is played in my house. The fact you can pay for a woman , then sleep with a woman and then murder her and steal back your money sickens me. I don't understand why that is needed, by all accounts the car chase/planning element is really good (as in fun to play, still dubious morally) however I draw the line at the abuse of women. Sadly amongst my children's friends I appear to be in the minority.

feministfemme · 26/10/2020 19:44

@Morgan12 Yeah I agree, if there was a capacity and desire for compromise then Online mode is less graphic for the issues that OP has mentioned. The prostitution element is usually a choice when it comes to actual gameplay - I've rarely ran into one unless you go looking, and it's not actually explicit in terms of body parts / sex.

Not necessarily advocating for the game, just trying to show a bigger picture.

DramaAlpaca · 26/10/2020 19:44

join a gang
do some robberies maybe
do street races

All very good reasons NOT to allow an under 18 to play an 18 ranked game, in my opinion.

feministfemme · 26/10/2020 19:46

@DramaAlpaca If OP's son is actively asking for the game though, I'm assuming he knows about gangs / robberies etc within the gameplay. There is also a disclaimer to not repeat any of the behaviour in the opening credits I think (if I remember correctly).

Would definitely say maturity and understanding of context plays a bigger part than age, but I get your points.

User0ne · 26/10/2020 19:52

Just say no. Rinse and repeat. No discussion or debate. He's a child and it's your decision. I'd be tempted to threaten (and if necessary impose) a sanction for him not stfu about it

oldbagface · 26/10/2020 19:58

Does he like FIFA? The new one is due out. My 13 yo is very excited about that

MustardMitt · 26/10/2020 20:19

“When you’re a grown adult you can do what you like, but my decision on this is final. If you ask again, I will start removing the facility to play ANY games let alone this one”.

And then do it. Remove a controller. A cable. A tv. The actual console/computer.

Tbh this works with my 11 and 9 year olds so they are a bit younger, but I think the threat should work well!

Original poster
Boscoforever · 26/10/2020 20:50

Thank you all so much.
I do realise that plenty of kids play this game and just enjoy the street racing etc.
But I fell really strongly about how they view women-I’ve 3 boys so very male dominated house. The Ulster rugby players rape trial is often mentioned here-how the views those guys had of women was so warped, and I really don’t want that for my boys. They are teens now and still into playing with friends/sports/chilling. But I am aware that girlfriends are probably around the corner, and I really worry about how they view women.
I just feel really strongly on this and won’t budge.

OP posts:
acerred · 27/10/2020 07:34

@Boscoforever

Thank you all so much. I do realise that plenty of kids play this game and just enjoy the street racing etc. But I fell really strongly about how they view women-I’ve 3 boys so very male dominated house. The Ulster rugby players rape trial is often mentioned here-how the views those guys had of women was so warped, and I really don’t want that for my boys. They are teens now and still into playing with friends/sports/chilling. But I am aware that girlfriends are probably around the corner, and I really worry about how they view women. I just feel really strongly on this and won’t budge.
Good work op. My mid teens dc aren't allowed GTA, we had a chat about it last night and they don't see why it's not suitable (I suspect they do but won't admit it), they and one friend are the only two who don't have it. Notseeing why it's unsuitable just confirms that they aren't old enough in my book.
Mumdiva99 · 27/10/2020 07:38

Tell him to try playing 'Among Us' - whilst it's only a 7 rating it seems to be the new big thing in our area....at least among year 8's and lower....I don't know any year 9.boys to know if they play too....

And stick to your guns on GTA.

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 27/10/2020 07:38

Ds went on and on about GTA and COD

And he didn’t stop for sometime the drama Hmm

But no he didn’t get it and still hasn’t and of course he is the only 13 year old boy not to have it in the world - or so he thought. I can now tell you your son doesn’t too Grin

And I know from chatting with his friends parents many friends don’t have it but I know some who have

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