To ask what it's like having 3 kids?

[itwasrebekahvardysaccount]

DS is 4 next month and DD just turned 2.
I'm feeling broody again and I can't help it I've always swore I only want 2 but here I am again.

OH isn't against it but isn't for it either as we will need a bigger car and the financial side of it.

Am I bonkers? What is it like having 3 kids close in age.

Mine are (almost) 8, 6 and 3.

DC3 was unplanned. She is an absolute delight but was born with a rare genetic condition which means she is globally delayed, will never live independently and is under a multitude of medical professionals.

I wouldn't change things but its worth considering that your DC3 may not be NT and how this will affect you all.

My third was born prematurely which meant a lot of time away in hospital for me and that definitely affected the older two. My middle child is also having some issues which we couldn’t have predicted a few years ago and which carry a heavy mental/emotional toll. It’s hard to split yourself three ways.

I love it :) live centrally though so don't drive so don't have to worry about this bigger car thing I always hear about (don't most cars have at least 5 seats? )

I have 2 very laid back little ones though. Middle one not so much be he brings a whole different perspective to life and I wouldn't change him :)

It's actually got harder as they have got older. They need alot of emotional support due to hormones all over the place and I get worn down abit. Also very expensive going to restaurants and on holidays. Wouldn't change it as lots of joy too but get saving is one tip I would pass on!

I've heard people say it's harder going from one to two than two to three. I should like to take this opportunity to say that that's utter bollocks.

Love having 3. It is hard work and expensive but there’s lots you can do that’s cheap as well.

I am literally exhausted BUT I almost (not always!) enjoy the chaos and never really been the type of mum who was particularly in control of anything anyway! Mine are 6, 4, and nearly 2 and we are just coming to the end of a tricky period where the older two would be happy doing an activity etc but the younger one couldn't do it, so just gave up, a lot.
Things are expensive, and I find i just don't have time to fit in many extra curricular things I see other parents being able to get their kids into. Maybe this would be easier if one of us was stay at home, I don't know?
I still regularly marvel at the fact we have three as objectively it seems a lot of extra work, but mostly I am glad we went for it!

Fab. Mine are 7, 5 and nearly 2. Going from 1-2 was harder than going from 2-3 for us.
Lockdown was fucking hard (trying to work, homeschool and look after a toddler). Generally though it’s lovely.

I have 3
8 DD
4 DD
1 DS

I found the transition from 1 to 2 harder than going from 2 to 3. I have biggish age gaps though and my eldest is so helpful, especially with the baby. I guess everyone is different. For me it's the cost of childcare that's the biggest negative when considering more kids.

Mine are grown now but I always loved having three.

I had twins second time around so didn’t choose 3 kids (and would definitely have stopped at 2). Age gap 2 years. Intense when they were little, definitely put a strain on our marriage at the time.
Now they are older (10,8,8) life is a lot easier and they are lovely, but I do look at friends with 2 kids and see how much easier it is. Like others have said, there is pretty much zero one-on-one time, and holidays and days out are expensive as everything is geared to a family of 4. Three can be an awkward number when it comes to playing together.

I love my kids but I’ve found it hard and wouldn’t recommend it, but then my situation is different as I didn’t choose a third.
Good luck whatever you decide.

I had 3. 19 months between the first two and then 2.5 years. I loved it, they were all planned and I don’t really remember 3 being harder than 2 although I did hire in some help for a couple of months when I had the third whilst I recovered from C section and got feeding established. I didn’t need a bigger car, not sure why you would. They’re all grown up now and my pride and joy.

We have three 6,4,2. I love it in many many ways, it's totally the right size family for us and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But as others have said it has its downside. Despite me frequently jobs king that no 3 is raised by wolves and me being way more relaxed with him, it is still materially harder work, just keeping taps on, finding one in one time with and dealing with thoroughly dull stuff like laundry.

We also materially notice the difference financially - we both work full time in good jobs way above the national average - and we still watch every penny! Holidays are also a pain as youngest has just hit two and everything gets more difficult logistically.

But DC3 is bussing round my feet and giving a running commentary on everything and frankly it makes me think of having another...

I didn’t need a bigger car, not sure why you would

Getting three car seats - fit for the age groups - across the back is super tight and beyond many cars.

I've just had a BFP tonight. Haven't told DH yet. It will be my 3rd. My eldest is 6 and my other one is only 8months.

Watching with interest.

I'm in the same boat. Happy with 2 but could probably have another. I'm always surprised how these threads seem to say how hard 3 is . (For e.g. i had 2 In 18 months and although it's pretty easy would defo recommend). Dh initially wasn't on board but now he is so it's not just a dream....

I generally think you should say yes to everything as I tend to regret things I didn't do not things I did and wonder if I will regret not having dc3.

I do worry about dd being ignored as the middle child (and older bro has hearing difficulty so she does have less emphasis spent on her development as she is so advanced)

Logically I think it's easier to stop but I'm just not sure we are complete yet

I didn’t need a bigger car, not sure why you would

To fit three car seats in safely.

*2 in 18 months is crazy not easy!

I always wanted 3 kids and I love having 3. The world seems built for families with 2 kids though. Family rooms in hotels, family tickets for things, etc. If we all go away we often have to book 2 rooms. Which means I often prefer to go away just me and the kids and leave DH at home cos it halves the cost

@JanewaysBun

*2 in 18 months is crazy not easy!

I had the same with my older two, so the 3.5 year gap between my second and third felt like an absolute breeze!

@Pyewhacket

You hit all sorts of snags with three. You need a bigger car, holidays are more expensive and teens sharing a room can get fraught. I was lucky , we could afford a cleaner and the house is big enough for them to have their own room. But mx in with that a large dog ( St Bernard ) and my son's botty mouthed African Grey parrot and it can get quite chaotic.

Off topic

Botty mouthed parrot made me howl !

There are good bits and bad bits.

Holidays are far more. Its harder to find rooms for five, where as rooms for four are quite common.

Holiday deals and free child places are often one per adult.

Things like swimming its one swimmer per non swimmer not in arm bands.

We went to a seven seater because three across the back didn't work for us.

Grandparents didn't feel they could cope babysitting three DC.

I found myself with three children at three educational settings all finishing at the same time. That was very expensive and a logistics headache.

Mine have all ended up needing their own rooms DS1 17 autistic so needs own space, DS2 14, DD 9 social communication issues so own space required and half sibbling of 14 year old DS so sharing not a consideration.

On the flipside...

Going from one to two children is a big change but I found two to three a breeze.

I love my brood, I love leisurely family meals, that each of my DC is very individual, that love grows with each child.

Have you ever seen Outnumbered? My 3 kids watch it all the time and as they get older can see many parallels I often hear "oh that's just like when Dd1 did... DS said....DD2 you are just like Ben"
Having said that I'd never send DD2 back (didn't keep the receipt)

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe

I've heard people say it's harder going from one to two than two to three. I should like to take this opportunity to say that that's utter bollocks.

I agree with this 100% ...and that's taking into account the 14 month age gap between dd1 and 2.

Ds has complex needs as the result of a rare genetic condition, which may skew just how full on it became when we had 3 (and also meant we definitely needed a bigger car)

I've also found it hasn't got easier as they have got older.

It's like that scene in Jurassic world where he's trying to get the 3 Raptors to behave
Honestly the hard part is going from one to two. Any more and its just remembering to count you've got them all.