To ask what it's like having 3 kids?

[itwasrebekahvardysaccount]

DS is 4 next month and DD just turned 2.
I'm feeling broody again and I can't help it I've always swore I only want 2 but here I am again.

OH isn't against it but isn't for it either as we will need a bigger car and the financial side of it.

Am I bonkers? What is it like having 3 kids close in age.

[MrsKoala]

There is always someone crying, moaning, raging, fighting etc. Whatever we want to do 2 are okay and one isn’t. It means that things which are meant to be fun treats are often miserable and I wonder why the fuck we bother. But we do, thinking maybe we’ll crack it, maybe this time we’ll achieve that frustratingly elusive dream, so close I can taste it. But sadly no.

Everyone I know has 2 and they don’t have this. They can separate them go off and do nice things, have 1-1 time and altogether time without having this nonsense.

Mine are 8, 6 and 4 and I rarely get to enjoy any of them as it’s just a mess of noise, chaos and drudgery.

If have having 2 is all the work of having one squared then having 3 is the work cubed.

Then there’s the practical things, bigger cars etc and hotels are a pain as often they only have a maximum occupancy in family rooms of 2 adults and 2 kids so we have to have 1 adult with 2 kids and 1 with 1 in separate rooms doubling the cost.

I love them all individually of course, but collectively they are dicks.

[dementedma]

Bloody expensive and hard work. We had an unplanned dc3 after a big gap. Dd1 was 12 and Dd2 was 9. I dont know if the gap made it better or worse. I often think I would be done and "free" as dds are young adults....but then we still have teen ds. Love him yo bits obviously, but I dont think I would recommend it. Mind you, my sister has 5 so what do I know!

[passmethewineplease]

Tiring.

I guess it depends on the children in question.

The age gap between my youngest two is 11 months and one has SEN. He’s challenging most days.

My eldest I just feel bad for, mum guilt always sets in.

Not saying we don’t have happy times but if I’m being 100% honest they aren’t that common.

[Thistles24]

I love it- can’t believe it took me so long to go for it!! He truly is the jewel in our crown, and brings so much more love and joy to our family. The older 2 dote on him, and delight in every milestone he hits. Watching how much they love him makes me love them even more.

[KindKylie]

I love it, love it, love it!

I was much more organised with 2, much more in control and felt more on top of things but I had less fun! I have bigger gaps and think that has helped me as my bigger ones are pretty helpful and independent with a lot of things - but I can also see that as they get older, bigger gaps may make finding things they all want to do may be more challenging.

I am so glad we didn't stop at 2 but then I'd happily have another...

[Mishmased]

@FourTeaFallOut

Those car seats look pretty nifty but are they actually £1500 each and an additional £250 for the carrycot?

Yeah the car seats are costly but way cheaper than a seven seater

[Susiesue61]

By the way, I asked DD what she thought about 3 and she said it was brilliant. DS2 couldn't answer, as without 3, he wouldn't exist 😆

[PunishmentSnart]

It’s HARD.

I adore all 3 of mine but bloody hell everything is different with 3.

Had to get new car, holidays are a lot extra, can’t stay some places due to room.

The biggest was we’ve had to move to a bigger house and I hate it. I loved our home and we’ve had to move to accommodate an extra human and I just can’t settle here

[Susiesue61]

Absolutely fab 😊 Mine are 21, 19 and 15, I would have had loads!! They all enjoy different parts of each other, DS1 is at university at the moment and DD and DS2 are really close. But when DS1 comes home, DS2 loves it 😆

[itwasrebekahvardysaccount]

DD and DS are both good kids so I kind of feel like we've had it easy. OH has come round to the idea of having another one.We already have a lot of things from DD so the only real big cost we will have will be selling the car and buying a bigger one.

[BackforGood]

I'm sorry that was your experience @Jericoo, but that was your parents, not a result of being one of 3.

I'm one of 4 and that wasn't my experience DH is one of 3 and it wasn't his. My dc, and 6 of my dns are 1 of 3 and it isn't theres - I could go on and on with friends. Don't put lack of time and attention from parents down to being one of 3 dc.

I have 5 and love having a big family, but i found the jump from 2 to 3 the most difficult, physically, financially and emotionally.

Which is interesting, as I found completely the opposite. She slotted right in. We were much more relaxed and less worried about things. I've enjoyed being her parent more than the other two, as far less concerned when things weren't perfect

[Bettina500]

It gets asked a lot but I think the reply depends on lots of factors such as temperament of the child and age gaps etc.
I have 3 and my youngest is an incredibly difficult, demanding and non sleeping child. So for me it's hard. If she was as easy as my other two it wouldn't be difficult. For this reason I also found going 2-3 much harder than 1-2, which goes against what most people seem to say on here.
I was the middle child of 3 and I'm very mindful that my middle child isn't treated with middle child syndrome, as I was. I had a pretty miserable childhood lost between the eldest golden child and the babied little one.

[Trinpy]

Can you afford three children and the costs associated with three for the next 20 years? If you have any doubts don't do it.

How can anyone say that for sure though? Absolutely anything could happen over the next 20 years! I have a well-paid, secure job now but in 10 years time they might have found a way to get computers to do it instead, in which case I'm screwed!!

[MsTSwift]

Now they are early/ mid teen we are very glad we stopped at 2!

[ShinyGreenElephant]

We have 4, no5 on the way. Ours are aged 11, 10, 5 and 2 so decent size gaps. Two of them we only have eow plus school holidays which makes a difference. They're bloody expensive, holidays involve absolutely zero relaxation and weve rarely gone a full day without an argument but we wouldn't change it for the world. I genuinely think not, (my 3rd) will just slot into the chaos without a murmer - newborns are a doddle compared to the toddler / tween combo!

[CovidClara]

not very environmentally friendly

[FourTeaFallOut]

Those car seats look pretty nifty but are they actually £1500 each and an additional £250 for the carrycot?

[TheWashingMachine]

Car seats and a bigger car are literally the tip of a huge iceberg

[TheWashingMachine]

Can you afford three children and the costs associated with three for the next 20 years? If you have any doubts don't do it.

[Mishmased]

@FourTeaFallOut

I didn’t need a bigger car, not sure why you would

Getting three car seats - fit for the age groups - across the back is super tight and beyond many cars.

You can get the multimac car seats. It goes up to age 12.

[NorbertMeubles]

Hard work and expensive. But.....lovely too and worth it.

[FourTeaFallOut]

I'm one of three and so is dh. Enjoying being a child in this shape of family is the primary reason we went on to have three ourselves.

[Ignoringequally]

@Jericoo

As someone who has two siblings - don't have 3. My parents never had enough attention for all of us, could never keep up with caring for us and seemed to resent our pure existence (and financial burden) as they were too overwhelmed. For your kids' sake stick with 2.

I am one of three and didn’t have this experience at all, so please don’t take this as a given.
I’m sorry it was so tough for you @Jericoo.

[PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe]

I should add that I've found it hard and there are significant gaps between mine: nearly 14; just 7; and 3. Dad is very present in their lives but we live with my mum and I work a number of different jobs to keep going.
There's no way I could have had them, like, boom boom boom (although there was no chance of that given that not one was what you'd called 'planned'). My friend has three boys, 5; 2; 1. Bitch be crazy.

[CloudyVanilla]

@Jericoo I say this with kindness and forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds I your situation like the problem was your parents and not the number of DC. If they seemed to resent you for even existing I doubt it would have been dramatically different between having two children or three :(