Trapped Toddler Parents of Winter 2020/21 Support Thread - Puddlesuits at the ready!

[ReallySpicyCurry]

Are you the parent of a small child who doesn't yet sit still for more than five minutes? Do local lockdowns mean there are no baby and toddler groups for miles? Are you sick of walking the same three routes every day since March? Then come and join our support thread! I have started this after some of us had a good moan on a thread in AIBU ("To be worried about staying sane stuck inside all winter with a 2 year old?") because I thought it might be nice to share ideas/activities/general moans and concerns, over what is probably going to be a tricky winter for those of us with babies and toddlers.

Don't forget the answer to all your prayers though... The ever reliable puddlesuit. Puddlesuits are absolutely mandatory this year, and you are expected to wrestle your child into one and make them jump in puddles daily. If your child goes blue with cold, administer a swift dose of hot chocolate and hope your local Amazon delivery driver gets move on with your latest order of kinetic sand/playdough/ball pit/stickers. Failing all else, Peppa Pig is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent, in October as in March.

Sending hugs monkeypuzzle and pinkdaydream I know exactly what you mean by feeling isolated.

Some days it's just me and the small person from the minute he wakes up until long after he's gone to bed due to my husbands shifts. My only mummy friend had now gone back to work and sometimes I dont speak to another adult all day. It's incredibly difficult as there's no where I can think to go to meet other parents, we've tried lots of parks but they are mostly empty.

@MonkeyPuddle that's great you've got a peer support person coming though.

What's your area like for baby groups etc?

It's very tough making new friends at the best of times let alone in lockdown.

@PinkDaydreams @MonkeyPuddle another thought about making friends as grown ups...my eldest child is 20 and I don't have any friends from the playgroup/nursery stages but I have some life long friends from the school years.

I personally found that's a lot easier than having polite conversation with mums from playgroups who you don't have anything proper in common with other than you have a young child.

@ReallySpicyCurry I go to bed as soon as toddler goes at 6. I'm literally on my bed at 6:01. I look forward to my mumsnet time and then I watch tv or listen to podcasts and so crochet. This is every night of my life! I love it. H is downstairs doing uni work. Enjoy your peace.

Sorry to hear others are finding this so difficult as well. DS has been very difficult today, he is very 'spirited' and has a few sensory seeking issues so he's literally been bouncing off the walls. He needs a really really good run around but he's stuck inside until Sunday.

My isolation ends tomorrow but the kids doesn't so I'm essentially still stuck. I'm going to go for a walk around the block when DH signs off work.

My friends I've met all through toddler groups to, it's such a shame that they're all shut. I haven't seen them in months as we're a group of 4 and we only meet when we can all meet together.

Sorry for everyone else being a bit low all round I think. God knows we deserve it.

Have pulled my head out of my arse and set up an activity for DS for the morning, wrote his name in bubble letters and put some stickers out. Took 30 seconds. Stickers are always a winner here.

Not sure what the play groups are like around here, we moved the Saturday before the first lockdown so we’ve not had chance to make friends, plus im 35 and frankly a bit set in my ways and antisocial, god I’m selling myself here.

I’ve told DP I’m feeling a bit delicate this evening, hormonal floodgates then opened, had a cry, having a glass of wine, waiting for DD to wake up, she was awake for 5 hours fighting sleep and exploding nappies and has now been sleeping for 4 hours so I’m envisioning a mega breast feeding session. Actually the oxytocin will probably do me some good.

I feel desperately torn between wanting to meet people and it being really hard work making friends! I’m an introvert at heart, but would just like a few more friends without having to put myself out there to find them... We moved this summer so I don’t really know what’s going on locally, or any people less than 1h drive away. I have managed to get to know one woman with a similar age toddler, we’ve taken them to the playground a couple of times which is nice.

Went to a nice woodland today. DS1has decided mud is ‘yuck’ and he won’t step near it. So that was fun... he does enjoy a clean puddle but there aren’t many of those! Baby enjoyed his first outing in the pushchair though, which is good because even a well fitting sling makes my back ache after a while.

Our toddler groups all shut in March apart from one outdoor based group that I've been to twice. I've a friend with a similar aged toddler and it's lovely seeing her but difficult to manage with work and college and all the rest.

I had a lovely little circle of groups going just before lockdown, and was getting to the next level meet up stage with some of the mums.

With eldest DD, I made so many friends. Lifelong ones. I actually work with one now, she's one of my best friends and I met her at Rhyme Time in the library when the babies were one.

The other issue is that DH and my jobs - and, for that matter, my mum's job, who provides childcare when I'm at work - are the absolute worst jobs in terms of transmission you would want to have in the middle of this pandemic. Think of three of the workplaces that have been in the news since March regarding "frontline fucking deathwish Covid traps" and yay, that's us, tick tick tick. It would almost be funny. I don't know how we managed it. Then of course you have DD2 at secondary school. Another tick.

So basically I feel like Typhoid Mary even when I've managed to meet people. We're the family you really don't want to have an al fresco coffee with right now. Loads of our family and friends seem to be shielding and just being really careful as well. Only my child free school friends want to meet really.

The thing is, I'm used to being alone, I spent large swathes of my childhood alone, I lived on my own with DD1, I have never had an issue with DH's long hours until now,and I craved and ring-fence my solitude at other times. So fgs, if I'm finding it a challenge, then it definitely is one.

I feel like I'll never stop moaning about this. Moan moan moan. Moan.

@footprintsintheslow that's some age gap you've got between yours. I thought mine was impressive! How did you find it going back to little ones? Or do you have children in the middle? I thought it'd be really hard, but it was OK. I have a theory that about half a decade of older children who sleep and don't have tantrums replenishes one's stores enough to face Toddler: The Sequel.

I feel like I'll never stop moaning about this. Moan moan moan. Moan.

This is exactly what I'm like. I know I should be grateful to be able to stay home with the small person but some days I would kill to go back to work. Then I feel guilty because I know so many would love to be in the position I'm in where I spend every waking moment with DS. I feel awful moaning but sometimes it's very monotonous and he's not exactly great at having a conversation. 😂

@ReallySpicyCurry I thought the age gap would be terrifying but you just get on with it. I'm much more tired as an older mum but much more patient. Plus this time round I have a tuff tray.

Does anyone know if the muddy puddle puddleflex are thin or thick material pleaae? I've had regatta pack away style and found then very thin and ripped easily.

@PinkDaydreams they look similar to the original trousers which we have, which I think are relatively heavy duty.

I think it’s good to have a moan sometimes, we would use face to face contact to have a bit of a moan and everything is exacerbated at the minute.

I went to a BF support group this morning with 15 day old DD, was fucking lovely to be around other adults. Yeah we all just spoke about the kids, but just being with other women, chatting, having a cup of tea was actually heavenly. Plus we got some excellent advice on latching. Hello pain free right nipple.

This afternoon we’ve made popcorn, flown paper aeroplanes into the wash basket a million times, sorted the washing, let DS loose with the hoover and played with orzo in a box, he absolutely loves this.

We’re going to do Teddy zip line once I’ve got some string, tie a piece of string high up and then to something low down, clip teddies/paper with letters/numbers on/spellings/simple sums onto the coat hangers you get with trousers with the built in clip and send them down the zip wire.

Oh and I found this link for some tuff tray ideas that seem relatively simple to set up

www.theworklifeblend.com/tuff-tray-ideas/

Apologies for the annoying pops ups on the site though

Argos 'book of dreams' has entertained my DD all morning. She's been studying it very intently, working out what to ask for from Santa Christmas. We can cut up and do a collage once the appeal is over too

@MonkeyPuddle the teddy zip line is fab! I've just been rummaging for the ball of string but then remembered i threw it away during the first lockdown as I was clearing out!

@PinkDaydreams it’s a five minute mum game, I’m not that imaginative to think things like that up myself!

I thought I recognised it, string is on the shopping list!

Glad to have found this thread. I’ve found myself feeling close to burnout and thinking ‘why do I feel so rubbish’ ... probably because i’m juggling work, running a home and 2 year old during a fucking pandemic. Oh and we are putting the house on the market next week because what is one more stress 🙃

@MonkeyPuddle teddy zip line! I’m stealing that idea please!
It’s all about pirates for DD at the moment so we’ve had fun recently with a tuff tray pirate island. Basically floating paper boats on just a little water with various other objects as sea monsters etc. Found some chocolate coins too which came in handy as treasure. Played some sea shanties from YouTube.

Practically all my local friends I met through baby group/nursery. This time around I’ve been able to take baby DS to a group once total. Agree with PP it’s very isolating. The good news is that we’ve finally exchanged and will be moving to rural Wales in December- we’ll have a lot more space, and new places/nature to explore. The bad news is that we’ll be moving to a farm in a place where we know nobody, and I don’t know when DD will even get to go to preschool. She doesn’t want to go to a new nursery but I’ll be organising at least a couple of days per week ASAP to save my sanity and For Her Own Good.

@LassoOfTruth my goodness it sounds busy busy moving house! It'll be great being out in the fresh air for all of you. Is it a working farm you're moving to?

Teddy zip line was a hit yesterday. Today I'm going to put flash cards on it and see how that goes!
I've ordered some artificial leaves this morning to put in the sandpit indoors.
Miserable and rainy today, managed to pop out for a walk this morning though before the rain got too heavy.

@MonkeyPuddle teddy zip wire is great!and thanks for the link for tuff tray ideas.

We had an unexpected hit yesterday. Toddle found an Elmer book to read. Then I drew an Elmer on the chalk board and we started to colour it in together. She then wanted one on cardboard (inside of cereal packet) which she has coloured in.

I see on Pinterest you can make an elephant out of a milk bottle so will try that too.

We are having a mini theme...child led too!!! Gold star to me 😂

We send the zip line from the curtain rail to a dining chair. See what goes fast and slow, which things are heavy, get DS climbing on a chair to put the hanger on. We expand on it by bringing in his rescue vehicles when he gets a bit bored of it, can usually stretch it out for another 20 mins or so.

For tomorrow I’ve got some gluing and sticking of tissue paper onto a butterfly and fish which I’ve drawn onto some card, they’ll be presents for grandma. He loves making things for her. Minimal effort from me and I can do it with him with DD on my boob.
Have also got some name recognition games set up, pop up pirate is out ready and I’ve switched all the books in his book basket around so hopefully we won’t be reading the same three stories over and over, looking at you Dinosaur That Pooped The Past.

@MonkeyPuddle how old is your ds please? The reason I ask is because ive been contemplating buying pop up pirate for sons 3rd birthday but I'm not sure if he's a bit too young for it?

Hi everyone, I dropped off the thread for a while getting used to life as a family of 4! DD is 2 weeks old tomorrow and DH is back to work 😱. We’re still establishing bf and she’s another Velcro baby so I really don’t know how I’m going to cope with her and a very active (and jealous!) 2.5 year old.

I was thinking I might try to impose a loose timetable/routine to give a bit of structure to the day - has anyone done this/can recommend any online resources/suggestions?

@PinkDaydreams I bought it for his 3rd birthday! He loves it, we don’t usually play by the proper rules, taking turns is an issue in our house but he picked it up straight away!

Welcome back @FolkSongSweet hope you’re doing ok! Getting some rest occasionally! I’ve had 16 day old DD attached to my boobs for the last 3 hours, on and off and on and off.
Maybe a nursery style structure to your day might work? Worth a google maybe.

We've discovered another negative to puddlesuits and wet slides. Slides are suddenly ridiculously quick to the point of needing to hold onto the wearer or they'll be hitting the floor half way across the park ...

Have just moved 2 year old up a size in wellies. Have a large bag of outgrown shoes to move on.

My 2 year old likes the hotwheels loop the loop "race" track and Trackmaster motorised trains. A simple loop is quite good distraction, especially as we have several trains (birthdays) but once they get more complex/different speeds you are picking up derailed trains every 20 seconds...

2 year old has acquired the nickname "Shreddadon" because he seems to prefer destruction to anything else... Favourite targets are of course whatever his sister is playing with just now or whatever she considers precious (of course)!