How to diplomatically tell a sensitive and anxious person that going into MLM is a mistake

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

A close family member, who suffers from anxiety and depression (and who is sensitive to criticism), has joined FM products (an MLM selling "dupe" perfume and other such shite). She can't work because of her MH issues and receives disability allowance. She was recruited to "open her business" by a school friend who ditched her after she went to Uni, and now several years later is banging on about "so pleased I'm helping one of my best friends to open a business" the family member recently got £2k gift from a relative, which is great but I worry she'll sink it all into the MLM.

I've already had the cringey sales message. She's put on Facebook how she thinks this will help her anxiety and depression. How do I tactfully tell her that she will lose money and her confidence will be rock bottom before long? Also worried about how this will affect her disability allowance. She's really prone to getting upset and it will devastate her whatever I say so I need to do a bit of damage limitation. I'm really worried for her

God, I really think mlm should be against the law. People are encouraged to prey on the vulnerable.

I don't know the answer op. I wonder if there are some accounts of people who've had bad experiences on the Internet you could send her?

Oh god that's a dilemma OP. I think some people just need to learn about these things the hard way, but you're right this can only harm her for all the reasons you've said.
All you can do I think is be honest with her about what you think without being unkind and assuring her that you're worried for her, not trying to sabotage her success.
There's a blog on all this somewhere - I suspect someone will know and come along and post about it.

I’d email her some information and express concern.

You could send a list of much better ideas for less risky micro-businesses she might enjoy starting up, and alternative sources of purpose and worth?

Could you send her a link to the ElleBeau blog. She was in Younique and had written her experiences up as a warning to others.

The bots are very manipulative and will tell new recruits that friends and family who Express concerns don't believe in them/they don't need negative people in their lives etc so it might be worth treading carefully and saying you're aware that the up lines might say X but have a look at these balanced views first before doing anything. Especially draw her attention to the percentage of people who make a loss

Tell her it is a big risk?

She'll find it impossible to say no to the friend though.

I wouldn't get involved if she is going to be devastated whatever you say. What's the point.

Instead I would not 'like' or share any of her social media around it and would be clear that I don't buy from any MLM as I am personally against the system as it exploits vulnerable people. But she is free to do as she wishes and you are still her friend.

Then leave her to it.

Suggest that she watches this and tell her that all MLMs (including FM World) use the same predatory tactics.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p076n2hg/secrets-of-the-multilevel-millionaires-ellie-undercover

Here’s Elle Beau’s blog: ellebeaublog.com/

The documentary on iplayer will leave her in no doubt that she should run a mile from MLMs. Try and get her to watch it. It’s very good.

When I was a teen, I answered one of those ‘EARN MEGABUCKS STIFFING ENVELOPES AT HOME! Send an SAE and £10 to this address etc...’

I sent it off, and about a week later got a lovely letter back with my tenner enclosed that basically said ‘This is a big fat scam and as soon as I realised what they want you to do (prey on other people just looking to earn some money) I decided I wouldn’t be part of it, here’s your £10 back and please never make the same mistake again, I’ve lost loads of money.’

It was really lovely of them. And taught me that if something seems too easy it almost certainly is.

I think just be honest and non-judgemental and say you watched the TV programme linked and are worried it might be the same thing - can you help her get herself out of it if she’s worried too once she watches the programme.

I didn't know what MLM stood for, there was a massive thread about it on here the other day but I felt stupid so didn't ask! It's pishing down rain outside, so I'm getting a cup of tea and going to watch that iPlayer documentary now, thanks @BSintolerant

@Stompythedinosaur There's currently a petition going to ban MLMs. It's on the MN petitions board and you can also find it just by googling, it's oin the Government petitions website.

has a really good video on FM World and how difficult it is to make money.

@everythingisginandroses it’s an excellent documentary - some of the earning statistics are eye-watering. I hope the BBC makes more of these. I understand that 100 hours or so of footage for the MLM documentary wasn’t used so there’s certainly enough material out there.

The Talented Ladies Club also has some well researched articles on MLMs: www.talentedladiesclub.com/articles/tag/mlm/

Also there’s good advice from Botwatch on here: mlmtruth.org/help/

The targeting of vulnerable people is the most upsetting thing about MLM. Sadly, thus far in the U.K. we have a pisspoor approach to “legal” organisations that have the same catastrophic effect as illegal pyramid schemes. Until the legislation catches up with the reality and the monitoring of their conduct is done by someone other than the DSA members themselves we are going to see many more victims like your friend @GlummyMcGlummerson. It’s really sickening and I think that it’s not on anyone in authority’s radar because it affects a demographic no one gives a flying fuck about (Women with low incomes and/or limited options). I realise not everyone in MLM is a woman or on a low income but it describes many of the participants in MLM).

Really eye-opening documentary, thanks again @BSintolerant. I am not on any social media (other than here) so was unaware of these companies and their reach. The religious/cultural background to the 2 companies studied was interesting too. It strikes me that many women might get involved and drop out of these schemes and then not talk about it, out of a sense of failure, or feeling embarrassed that they've been misled. Sounds like they don't extend credit, it's strictly money-down ( I work in debt advice and have never heard of any of these companies as a creditor although Avon comes up at times - sellers using their own credit cards/loans to buy products must be a whole other story, of course).

I know that you say your relative will be devastated by you saying anything negative - is there anyone in the family from whom she will accept this sort of information in a better way? Could you call upon them to talk to her?

Failing that, I would link her to that iplayer documentary and just simply write “Please please watch this and have a good think. I love you and am worried about you”.

How about writing anonymous letter & printing out that blog post?

Just taking a look at the Talented Ladies' Club site linked above - OMFG, those director's loans. There is so much going on that I didn't know about!

@NoSquirrels - funny, I was thinking about the envelope-stuffing scams too. When I was a teenager in the '80s I too replied to one I saw in advertised in a newsagent's window - they didn't ask for any money upfront, just a SAE. I duly sent in my stamped self-addressed envelope and received back a letter asking me to send in £20 and they'd tell me how it worked. I rang the phone number provided on the letter and asked: "If I send you £20 will you just write back and tell me to place one of these ads myself and get people to send me £20?". He was like, "Er....yes."

@everythingisginandroses
Some of those people who have huge Directors’ loans brazenly brag about being debt free and how MLM has enabled them (or someone they know) to sack the boss, buy a castle, send their children to private school etc. Those of us who have been botwatching for a while have heard stories from people who have been sucked into these MLM cults who have got themselves into hundreds and sometimes thousands of pounds worth of debt because their uplines persuade them to keep at it because success is just around the corner.

It’s a very unpleasant, predatory business.

This is a very interesting podcast on Herbalife:

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/con-artists/id1471046920?i=1000493869539

If nothing else works maybe as a last resort you could tell her that everyone will find her a pitiful nuisance and will start hiding her on social media. You may have to risk offending her. It’s so difficult OP and I hope you get somewhere with this. She’s a typical target.