Straight women who are sexually attracted to women... but only at a distance

[HashtagLOSING]

Hi,

By "at a distance", I mean a woman who is turned on by lesbian porn for example, but has no intention of physically acting on their desires, so identifies as straight.

This was inspired by a conversation with my straight friend earlier on....

Friend was over for coffee and loose women was on in the background (in the BACKGROUND! Please, no judging) and a video of Heidi Klum scantily clad, dancing provocatively came on. Now, I'm bisexual and married to a woman and whereas I have never looked at Heidi Klum and thought anything really, it did catch my attention and so I commented to friend who was mid sentence "sorry, I got a bit distracted there " and said I thought she looked hot. Friend said "bloody hell, yeah" and then started fanning herself and said something along the lines of she's feeling a bit frisky now. Thing is, I wasn't actually surprised. I've often heard things like this from apparently 'straight' women.

Now I'm not saying all these women are in denial. I am genuinely just curious, as actually this used to be me!

I would have fantasies and "girl crushes" ( I now hate that expression, as what does it mean really? A crush is a crush isn't it?) but I was 100% sure I didn't want a relationship with one and saw myself as straight, but someone who had sexual fantasies about women....occasionally, but definitely nothing more. Then I had sex with one and that was that

Obviously this was just my experience and I'm honestly not judging or suggesting that if you enjoy a bit of lesbian porn you must be bisexual or gay, it just genuinely got me thinking.

Interested to hear your thoughts...

I think everyone's sexuality is on a spectrum.

I consider myself pretty far towards the hetro side - I don't watch porn anymore but when I did I would sometimes watch lesbian porn, there are a few female celebrities I think are sexually attractive.

However I've never found a woman in 'real life' to be sexually attractive. Attractive, yes, but not in a sexual way.

I've just done that kinsey quiz out of interest more than anything and was strictly straight. I have never felt an attraction to any real women but can appreciate women who are attractive/pretty/sexy. My sexual fantasies both conscious and subconscious always feature men and never women. However when I've watched porn I am aroused by girl on girl, those scenes have always been part of a heterosexual film though, I'm not sure how aroused I would be with an exclusively lesbian porn film.

I agree with a pp that it's probably due to being conditioned by the Male Gaze. In every advertisement, photo, TV programme, movie, we are encouraged to notice, and evaluate women sexually. Think Marilyn Monroe's first appearance in Some Like It Hot . . . every viewer, male or female, experiences her from Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon's lecherous perspective .

A few years of that and you get used to responding that way.

There havd been a few more examples of "female gaze" over the past few years, Levi's laundrette and the Diet Coke man spring to mind, but even they have been slightly comical in a "oh they are using a MAN as a sex object., ha ha!" way and caused a sensation in their time.

If I ask my DH if a man is good looking/attractive he looks at me as if I am raving mad. He has absolutely no idea what makes a man attractive to women/gay men, bless him.

Agree with a lot in this thread, I definitely have more female than male crushes and girl on girl is my go to porn as well, not that I watch that much.

I think the sexuality spectrum is a lot more open now than it ever has been which is a good thing!

I believe sex can be symbolic for intimacy. Every "straight" girl I've ever known wants this with each other and it's not a bad thing.

I definitely find some women really attractive/beautiful but not in a sexual way. And can get emotional crushes. I do think women are more visually appealing and I'm not sure that's down to misogyny.

Mind you I'm not sexually attracted to men anymore so guess a bit asexual nowadays.