Just called the Samaritans and....

[ParisianLady]

...she suggested that I go for a walk or into the garden. 'Often a walk makes you feel better'

Theyre rubbish IME. Got my name wrong repeatedly.

I'm impressed they answered.

If Samaritans isn’t for you, are there other helplines in your area? Or your gp? Close friend to talk to? Sorry you are feeling low op.

@DelphineWalsh

I'm impressed they answered.

It did take ages and ages.

Not sure what I was expecting but not sure it was that. She kept asking odd questions: could I call my mum, did I live in a flat, how old were my children.

I guess it did the trick in a way, I'm still here

What area are you @ParisianLady? There will be better local services available to you

Maybe make you pissed off with them is a successful tactic

Not all Samaritans are good, the training and selection is very rigourous, but some Samaritans, especially new ones can sometimes struggle. And of course, sometimes you just don't "click" with someone.

If you call again, and you just don't gel with the person who answers the phone you can just hang up and try again if you can bear the wait.

You can also email, but that can be even more hit and miss.

Samaritans are volunteers, and are there to listen, not to offer counselling or therapy or any advice as such.

As a previous poster suggested, you can call your GP, or have a look for other helplines in your area. If you can afford it, you can access counselling either in person or online very easily.

I hate that sort of advice. It's like when people learn you have long standing insomnia and suggest a hot milky drink and some lavender on your pillow.

Do you feel safe right now?

I'm sorry you took such a big step & didn't get the help you should have 🌷

Many many years ago I called them, she actually, literally told me to go outside and smell the roses. Thank fuck I had a friend I could call who helped so much.

She's not wrong that going for a walk does help, but you have to be able to get to that point.

I don't think her questions were weird though. She was trying to find out if you had any RL support to call on, any children depending on you and to be blunt, if you were about to do something dangerous.

Do you want to talk about how you're feeling now or what was making you feel you needed to phone them?

Samaritans are volunteers who are trained to listen. They are not there to give advice.

@MJMG2015

That's an interesting point. Could she have done anything if she had thought I was about to do something dangerous? (I haven't done - all absolutely safe)

Surely they can't do much, all they have is a mobile number. No name/address etc

She was a nice lady, sounded caring, to be fair to her. But I did scoff at the walk suggestion, it's a bit beyond a walk.

Could she have done anything if she had thought I was about to do something dangerous?

As far as I remember the most they can do is encourage you to call for help yourself. If you have given your location at any point then help could theoretically be called but that is very rare. And there is no access to the number you have called in on.

It's also important to note that Samaritans don't try and talk people out of suicide. As PPs have said they listen, and don't give advice. They try to give you space to talk yourself out of it, but they believe in self determination.

As an aside, it is very rare to get someone calling from a bridge or train platform. Mostly it is lonely older people, people who are unable to access proper mental health support, and wanking men.

They have worked well for me. I don't want solutions or suggestions, I want someone to listen, to calm me down, to let me get it all out and tell the same old story again and again.

Sometimes they just keep you chatting for a while.

It's not for everyone.

Perhaps Mind may be more helpful? Not sure what it’s like to get through. 💐

www.mind.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/mind

[quote ParisianLady]@MJMG2015

That's an interesting point. Could she have done anything if she had thought I was about to do something dangerous? (I haven't done - all absolutely safe)

Surely they can't do much, all they have is a mobile number. No name/address etc

She was a nice lady, sounded caring, to be fair to her. But I did scoff at the walk suggestion, it's a bit beyond a walk. [/quote]
Have you tried reading their website. I've just had a quick look and it seems pretty good.

I don't know what she could have done, but maybe she would have said something different if you'd said you were in a 4th floor flat with a baby - she might have suggested knocking on a neighbours door or something, I honestly don't know.

Their website does seem more geared to actually help.

(((Big hugs))) I'm on the cuddly side, so they're very squishy!!

When I rang the samaritans (yonks ago) the chap I spoke to, had the most annoying voice ever. He was softly spoken and monotone. In a way it helped because he sidetracked me and got me thinking about his voice rather than what I had been thinking.
Thank god I've never been in that particular head space again.

One hung up the phone on me because I said FFS.
So then I went ahead with what I had planned.
Very useful service.
I'm not sure who they expect to help as they're no help to anyone in severe danger. Maybe as a PP said, they're more aligned to people calling for a chat when they're lonely or something. Can't see any other use for them.

I’m sorry you’re in a place where you needed to make that call. Samaritans aren’t counsellors or therapists or self-help gurus. The service was set up because sometimes when you’re in despair, it helps just to have somebody to listen to you and sympathise; or sometimes just saying things out loud is calming and helps you reach a point where you can think about how to move forward.

If that isn’t what you need then please explore other types of talking therapy with professionals who can provide specific psychological help.

Sorry to hear you are in such a bad place OP.

I spend several hours a week volunteering for a similar crisis line. It's not an easy role by any stretch, sometimes it can be incredibly harrowing, but I have always been proud to give up my time to help others.

Crisis line volunteers are there to listen and help people figure out a way forward for themselves- whether that be making a GP appointment for the first time re mental health, contacting their existing mental health team for more support, contacting someone close by fit 'in person' support, or busying themselves with some sort of distraction (like, yes, a walk) in order to keep themselves safe in the short term. A lot of the people I talk to have no idea where to start when it comes to addressing their specific issues, so direction to a particular charity or organisation can be hugely helpful sometimes (miscarriage or domestic abuse support for example). Obviously it hasn't helped a few PPs but based on feedback we get at the organisation I volunteer for, these services can be hugely valuable for a lot of people.

Sad to hear such scathing remarks about Samaritans on here, feels like a bit of a slap in the face, but I realise it's not personal and services like this won't help everyone. Volunteers don't have magic wands sadly, and most care a great deal- they wouldn't invest themselves in such a role otherwise.

Hope things are feeling brighter soon OP, and that you get the support you need.

I think there's a lot of misunderstanding of what the Samaritans do. They are a listening service, they're not the crisis team. They can signpost you to more appropriate services, but they can't advise and they can't intervene.

Think about what kind of help you're looking for, and then look for something appropriate. If you're at immediate risk of serious harm then you should be calling the crisis team (if you're eligible), going to A&E or calling 999.

I've spoke to the Samaritans many, many times.. I'm surprised they said this to you. They got me through some very dark times in my abusive relationship with my ex. Sorry you had this experience, but don't let it put you off they are fantastic xx

@ChaChaCha2012

I think there's a lot of misunderstanding of what the Samaritans do. They are a listening service, they're not the crisis team. They can signpost you to more appropriate services, but they can't advise and they can't intervene.

Think about what kind of help you're looking for, and then look for something appropriate. If you're at immediate risk of serious harm then you should be calling the crisis team (if you're eligible), going to A&E or calling 999.

That's not how they're advertised though. They're advised on every talk show, every newspaper article, every news bulletin, after Coronation Street even as a panacea for emotional help.
They're not that though, so people will inevitably recourse to them and come away disappointed when they're no better off if not worse off for the interaction with them. MN are a massive culprit for advising them too. Someone could say I'm about to jump of a bridge and MN pulls the thread leaving a wonderfully helpful number for the Samaritans...
It's a charity I refuse to donate to as in my darkest hours they have made me feel worse.

The one I phoned when I was at my worst never answered the phone. Phoned during open times for days.

@Paranoidmarvin

The one I phoned when I was at my worst never answered the phone. Phoned during open times for days.

That shouldn't happen now. It's a 24 hours services and you don't call a specific branch any more you call a national number which directs you to the first open branch with a free Samaritan.