Breaking rule of 6 over Christmas

[SarahSinuses]

Hi, so in my family we will have to break the rule of 6 as there's me, DH, DM, DF, DB, DS and DD (who is only a baby so don't understand why she counts).

We had planned from ages ago to rent a big house so we can spend a week together comfortably because since DD was born we don't really fit in my mum's house.

I was saying to my mum that we have to cancel the rented house stay because there's no way the owners won't ask if we're all from the same household, and just be a little uncomfortable and cosy at her house.

Other option I suppose is to go to Wales where children don't count.

So, what should we do?

1. Go as planned to the house already booked
2. Cancel and stay at my mum's (very crowded)
3. Cancel and book in Wales where children don't count (lose lots of money probably)

Thank you!

Why don’t you keep the booking and wait for 2 things before you have to make a decision about cancelling;

1. A possible rule change announced in time so that people can spend Christmas with their extended family without being in breech of any rules.
2. Contact from the house owner with specific concerns about the make up of your group. Chances are, the holiday home owner is desperate for the income after what has probably been a shocking year and so is happy to turn a blind eye.

Whatever the outcome I am another believer that people should be able to spend Christmas with who they like. Life is for living and OP has extra reason to make sure the extended family are together, especially after the year we’ve all had.

• Don’t break the rules. It’s just stupidity *It’s the covid equivalent of being an anti vaxxer

That's a little extreme. Personally I think most people who have so far stuck to the rules, social distanced etc will break them around Christmas.

I'm sure this is fine, you're allowed multiple households and if the extra person is a baby I really don't see the problem.

Tbh I think rules will relax for Xmas

If I were in your shoes, I would stay at your parents rather than go to a rented house just because the owner is likely to want to stick to the rules. Even if it is crowded, if it means your DF gets his possibly his last family Christmas, you can make it work.

Personally, I am LOVING the idea of just staying at home with my DDs and DH, but if my father was sick like yours, I would be just breaking the rule. I also wouldn't be looking for justification on MN. All you will get is those who love rules and lack empathy.

If the government have any sense they’ll put us into this circuit breaker lockdown for Christmas and New year to prevent this kind of thing. And before anyone suggests that it wouldn’t be fair because “it’s Christmas,” given they tightened rules in parts of the north the night before Eide I don’t think we have the right to demand that Christmas should be different.

Also, if your dad has a serious illness and (as you say) it might be his last Christmas, this is all the more reason to stick to the rules to prevent putting him at greater risk than he already is.

Tbh I think rules will relax for Xmas of course they won’t. How exactly do you think they justify that? “Oh, we know you all want to party and we’ll pick up the fallout from the rise in infections after the new year”?

Christmas is just a day for most people. The vast, vast majority have it as a day to eat/drink/spend far too much without any consideration for the religious element it represents.

So there are 7 of you? One being a tiny baby. I would just crack on. People are not paying attention to the rules. Your baby is not going to be the deciding factor in your families becoming ill/spreading Coronavirus. If people aren’t sticking to the rules it’s because they are so arbitrary. Seven people in a house - not okay. Thirty people in a classroom - great no problem. Of course the situation may well deteriorate by Christmas in which case you might need to rethink.

@AlternativePerspective - just wtaf?

The attitudes to life, family and compassion this pandemic has brought out in some people is utterly unbelievable. These same people, who claim to stick to every single rule for the greater good of society and due to their care of others, then bear no resemblance of understanding or compassion to anyone suffering from the fallout of this pandemic and their individual reasons for needing to assess the important things in their life and do things slightly differently.

What will Dominic Cummings do?

I would definitely see your dad and family group over Christmas. The government has absolutely no plan for what we’re working towards, with no timetable. I’ll stick to the rules almost all the time - which isn’t easy when we are already six, but I’m not going to miss annual events with my ageing parents when we can do them in a sensible and careful way.

I’d probably stick with the rented cottage too.

Yes . I'll have my brother and mother round as they both live alone. It takes us to 7.

Like pp, I cant get upset at breaking the rule of 6 when the 7th is a baby.

I do not see that this is a bigger risk than if the OP was still pregnant - a new baby is not the same risk level as a primary school aged child, mixing in a bubble of 90 each day.

I try not to be negative on Mumsnet because its no help and I don’t want to be unkind but I want to say that I think people are going a bit bonkers over Christmas. I really understand the wish to get together especially with a lovely new baby to enjoy.
I’m not going to get into where you should go because really you shouldn’t and a lot of places like Wales won’t be accepting visitors so it could all be cancelled anyway.
There is going to be huge spike after Christmas if everyone gets together with their older generation loved ones all squashed in together.
I can tell you after having my DF over for lunch and then testing positive a few days later there is nothing like the dread of thinking you could kill your loved one. I’m not being over dramatic here it’s just the facts. Thankfully he’s ok. Even if you stick to the rules in your area it’s still a risk for you all that’s what you need to be thinking about not where the best place to meet is.

6 of us already so gets me out of Xmas with anyone else. So nope not breaking rules here.

We currently couldn't even have our DS in the house for Christmas even though we'd be less than 6. Clinging to the hope that it will be allowed by then else he'll be spending Christmas Day on his own.
I wouldn't cancel your booking just yet, things might change. And start accepting that you are likely not to be able to spend Christmas altogether. I wouldn't be surprised if Wales kept the borders closed over Christmas , precisely because so many people will be considering it for the same reasons as your family. All a bit shit really, sorry OP, here's hoping things improve before then.

Sometimes circumstances mean to you to be flexible. Given your DF health this is one of them. Go to the house. If everyone minimizes their contact with others 2 weeks before and takes extra care, then just do it. But I wouldn't put it on a forum.
Book for 6, take the baby stuff with you.
BTW we are cancelling my husbands 70th as the grown up children are in a tier 2 setting. So I am not being frivolous, just making informed decisions.

@Malteserdiet Beautifully said. Do you think they can see the irony?

Of course you know you shouldn’t do this, otherwise there would be no need to ask the advice of others to validate your decision.
Have 2 Christmas days or split the day? It’s is literally the same for everyone and thousands of families will have to make a sacrifice.

@AlternativePerspective because I think the government know they can't enforce them at Christmas. I genuinely think the rules will relax a bit. Just like we had a break over Summer.

It's not just about managing infections (obviously that is important) but you can't ignore human nature.

Christmas is just a day for most people.

I would say it's the time of the year most people spend it with family. Particularly when they might have seen them since last Christmas.

@loulou0987

Of course you know you shouldn’t do this, otherwise there would be no need to ask the advice of others to validate your decision. Have 2 Christmas days or split the day? It’s is literally the same for everyone and thousands of families will have to make a sacrifice.

Actually it's worse for most people - if you're in Tier 2 or 3 you can't meet with people from other households indoors at all. I assume the OP is in a tier 1 area?

@Malteserdiet come now, you can't bring common sense onto these threads!

Option 4 Stick by the rules.

Really ? this makes me so sad. How is anything ever going to improve with an attitude like this

Improve how? Do you know what makes me sad, this could be the last Xmas my friend spends with her mum before the dementia really takes a hold, next year or the year after I'm pretty sure she will have no idea who she is. If these ridiculous rules are still in place she won't be seeing her. Now that's sad*

Improve how ? Oh I don't know some capacity in the health service maybe ? Elective surgery going ahead, cancer treatment continuing ? Possibly averting the 10's of thousands of redundencies shall I go on ?

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