How to tell friend enough is enough.

[chairtosofa]

I've been friends with someone since we were at school. Problem is she expects too much from me. I now have my own family and am very busy. How can I tell her I cannot run her errands etc and really get though to her?

Just say you're busy, stop being wet ;) be honest

Say “unfortunately I don’t have time/capacity to do x”. and repeat

Just say no when she asks and don't do whatever it is.

Blame covid

As above... what kind of things does she ask of you?

No don't blame Covid! That's just an excuse for now.

When she asks you to do something simply say you don't have time and stick to it!

Thing is I've said no and she still asks. I want to say it so she won't ask again.

Some examples from this week alone:

Take her wet washing to the launderette. I said no.

Pick up cat food for her with my shopping then drop it to her. I did do this.

Drive her to her relative. I said no.

Babysit her dc. I said no.

Mostly I say no but she still asks multiple times a day.

Why are you running errands for her? What sort of thing? Why can’t she do them?

I think you need to say no to everything. You are saying yes occasionally so she’s trying her luck.

Some people are shameless beggars. They don’t care how much they get or don’t get; they’ll always ask for more. I have a person like this in my family, even when I tell her to stop and call her a shameless beggar, she just laughs. You need to toughen up and don’t under any circumstances give yourself a hard time over your refusals. It’s water off a Duck’s back to them.

If she won’t stop asking then I’d terminate the friendship. She obviously sees you as a skivvy rather than her mate

Does she drive?

She's not a friend she's a user. Get rid of her.

@Pumpkinstace

Does she drive?

No

Why can't she do this stuff herself? How does she think the rest of the world manages? Just keep saying no to everything or ask her to do stuff for you. Then you'll see if it's a one way street

Multiple times a DAY?! How long has this been going on for?

It's really annoying me. Latest request:

Can you take my dd to gymnastics as younger dc is sleeping?

Well no I can't as my own dc need feeding and bathing !

so it's not actually a friendship, more that she sees and uses you as a useful adjunct to her life, specifically as a free mini-cab.
i hope you did not uplift the cat food from your car and take it to her door. probably did. as you are nice. and she is not.
so, repeat simple refusal. broken record. repeat. do not deviate.
do not discuss, or justify. just say no. again and again.
full stop.
good luck.

When my children were little and pestering for something, I used to say 'If you ask again, the answer's no'. Try that.

Is she a single mum or does she have a partner?
I don’t drive and never expect lifts and favours from friends. In fact I use taxis as I’d rather not feel indebted over lifts/favours.

How did this start-why did she start using you as her unpaid taxi service?

Can you just say something like ",yiu seem to forget i have my own life and family to run after lol, please stop asking me to run errands. I'm just as busy as you"

Does she have a partner. Do you? Has she always been this demanding.

Have you tried simply telling her to stop asking you for favours as you're busy with your own family, don't have the time and it's getting embarrassing?

Wet washing?!

Piss taker