How do you cope/destress when things are horrendous?

[PandaBearBear]

Hoping for some ideas really.

This year has been shit, for everyone I'm sure. My husband has been very sick all year and has just been moved into ICU again. I don't even know how many times that makes it now.

I am really really struggling to cope this time. It is just too much. I am trying desperately to not have a break down (I have 2 children to support through this too). I've bought myself a sketchpad and nice sketching pencils for when I can concentrate.

What do you do when you need to not lose your shit?

What I imagine would be nice is being left in a large soundproof room with lots of shelves of crockery and a baseball bat so I could have a good scream and smash stuff. But I have none of those things at my disposal right now.

Sorry you are having such a tough time and I hope your DH recovers.

I find a long walk in the fresh air by myself helps me - particularly at the coast. And I clean like mad at home.

I run... but that's not always easy depending on the ages of your children.

I sleep. When the going gets tough (and is is grade a shite right now) I nap. I don't think that it's the best coping strategy, but I am crawling into bed I'm so shattered.

Sorry to hear that things are tough right now .

I'm a big fan of lying in bed with a box of chocolates and watching a good comedy on tv!

Loud disco music and dancing round the kitchen. You may not feel like it, but once the music starts it really helps. It’s what’s getting me through at the moment!

Sorry to hear about your difficulties.

I cry
Journal
Pour it out to friends (no partner)
Hug my dc
Run
Do yoga

Above all I never criticise myself for how I’m feeling

run, crochet, loud music, yoga or read. Something to concentrate on to divert my mind away from the mental pain.

Audiobooks. Making cakes ( which I give to friends). Lots of walking. Going to bed very early. Just keep going. I’ve had some very upsetting news and it’s a struggle to keep a lid on it and not have a complete meltdown.

During my divorce I found those adult colouring in books good for zoning out (might’ve used alcohol but had dc)

Sorry to her of your struggles 💐

Take kalm, rescue remedy, lavender pillow spray and camomile tea. Try to cover all bases. X

Yes valerian for sleeping.

I hug a big teddy bear at night

I've heard weighted blankets are good

a good book, even in front of kids as its 'good role modeling' apparently

www.rageroomevents.co.uk

You need a rage room session

@Snog oh my god!!! That is so good!

Lots of brilliant suggestions.

Sorry to hear about your husbands illness and the stress you are under.

I’ve been through similar on and off for 15 years and have found watching comedy or a comforting series on tv (with or without a large glass of wine!) a good outlet. I like to put a podcast or an audiobook on when I’m
Lying in bed so I don’t feel alone . The Calm app is also good, very comforting especially the meditations and sleep stories.

I found I often didn’t have the attention span for a book, but I did read magazines while waiting around the hospital.

Agree with PPs who have said Herbal teas and tinctures for bedtime.

It’s good to know that mums net is 24/7 and that you can always escape on here and find a listening ear or a distraction at any time of night or day.

This too shall pass. Look after yourself.

I will be staying at a hotel this week and at the hospital for most of the day, so may pick up some bits to try to learn to crochet.

All of these ideas are great, sometimes I just completely forget any coping mechanisms.

And sending so much love to everyone who is also having a tough time ❤

I've also found reading some mumsnet classics threads brilliant for giving myself a bit of a break from thinking too much.

Is there a time when the kids are out that you could let it out.

I have a punch bag that’s has had the crap beaten out of it several times recently. Quite frankly a pillow works just as well if necessary as does screaming into the mattress with the pillow over your head.

On the other end of the scale a walk alone in the woods ended up with me studying a tree and the way it’s branches grew for ages before I realised I’d been there over half an hour and had forgotten about all of life’s other shit.

Allow myself to be broken for a while until I feel able to get up and keep moving.

In my experience of being very broken by life, distractions are ok as long as they don't mean you're actually blocking off your feelings to build and build and build until you go boom. Sometimes it's better to just go with it in short bursts so they can filter out of your system in more containable doses.

A good long walk outside

Watching familiar TV shows with a blanket, lying on the sofa

Cooking, especially desserts

Have seen weighted blankets mentioned on here before, I think it'd be a good move

Also tentatively considering maybe looking into getting a cat 🙄 - but think it may cause too many arguments

Oooo @grassisjeweled I'd bloody love a cat right now!! (But DH is allergic and his year has definitely been bad enough). Who would argue?

also, I have found that when I feel very crap I much prefer to watch TV shows I've already seen. I thought I was just a creature of habit but apparently it is linked with anxiety and having the safety of knowing whats going to happen. I thought that was interesting.

An Epsom salt bath followed by Innulin powder in a warm drink will help sleep. Calm music to listen to - a note pad to jot down anything that won’t leave your head