Table manner nightmares, please advise!

[ScrabApple]

Meal times are fast becoming the most stressful time of day. My DD13 is becoming increasingly intolerant to DH table manners. To be fair to her, he could brush up his manners, but they are not horrific. He eats fast, there are mouth noises but not too loud or often and his cutlery seems a bit more percussive than the rest of us. However, it's getting to the point where she cannot remain at the table for an entire meal because she is so wound up by him. She's shushing him and telling him to be quiet and he looks bemused as if she's making things up (which winds her up even more).
Please can someone help. I'm concerned this coukd inadvertently lead to disordered eating or a complete breakdown in her relationship with her Dad. Should we eat at different times?

Tell him to brush up on his manners.

Sorry, I'm with your daughter. There is no excuse for bad table manners.

There is a condition called misphonia (spelling?). He’s being awful if she has it. The noises he makes will be truly unbearable.
He needs to make less noise. Bad table manners are grim.

I had a really similar thing when I was a teenager... my dad’s cutlery scraping on the plate just started to go through me, couldn’t stand it. My parents didn’t make a big deal of it.

Just to reassure you, I didn’t have disordered eating and relationship with my dad is fine.

I think you get to an age where you suddenly get more aware of your parents as individuals and start noticing things.

If he's eating like a farm animal and being all "who, me?" about it, then he's setting a crap example to his kids. Noisy, piggy eating IS grim.

The way my dad breathed at that age wound me up. And the way he would smack his lips together saying hmmm try this its delicious used to make me see red.

Shel get over it, like I did kinda 😂

Sounds like she could be particularly sensitive to eating noises - google misophonia and see if it might fit. He should make an effort to quieten down.

Another one suggesting misophonia - I'm the same, the way my DF eats yoghurts makes me see red, ditto chewing gum.

He eats fast, he makes mouth noises and he makes more noise than the rest of you with his cutlery.

Yep sounds like he needs to sort out his table manners. I've found that that people who "eat fast" also tend to sit hunched over in order to shovel it in as fast as they can too.

I've googled misophonia and I think that's it, and also I might have it too! Who knew?!

His manners are not farmyard style, he doesn't hunch, the speed at which he manages to pass fork to mouth with accuracy is actually amazing and highly irritating. He is not embarrassing to go out with and I just can't see him being receptive to changing. He's already remarked that any sounds are just enjoyment of the food and he was brought up thinking that is a positive thing and DD needs to be less sensitive to normal things. I am tempted to secretly encourage her to wear headphones to the table. We already eat with the radio on to mask things.

Or he could learn to not be a pig and stop making her suffer.
Or he can eat elsewhere?

My DH takes in a sharp intake of breath when eating - I hate it (in case he ends up chocking) and ask him to slow down. Not as bad as Grannie though who sticks out her tongue to recieve her food!

I have it it's horrible. The rage I feel inside at Dhs eating is unbelievable. I can manage to eat a meal with him because he knows how it makes me feel he's not too bad but of he's having something like crisps, sweets or an ice lolly I do literally want to kill him... I usually leave the room and ask him to tell me when he's finished.

It sounds like he is gobbling his food .
So unpleasant for other people and very ill mannered.
Any mouth noises are disgusting, he needs to stop it.

I think this is quite common, in teenage girls, from my own totally on scientific experience. He needs to stop being a pig, and she needs to be a bit more tolerant.

@ImFree2doasiwant

I think this is quite common, in teenage girls, from my own totally on scientific experience. He needs to stop being a pig, and she needs to be a bit more tolerant.

Nope people need to stop eating like pigs.

1. Get a set of a rubber knife and fork from a joke shop.

1. Liquidise his meals and serve in one of those cup-things with a spout that some old people use.

1. Play AC/DC music at full volume during meal-times.

Poor man. Why are people calling him a pig? OP has said it’s not that bad. Can we all say we never accidentally make a noise?Sounds like a few manners wouldn’t go amiss on both sides. Oh and a big case of Teenage Irritation!

He sounds grim. I couldn't live with a man who's like a pig at a trough.

Would it make a difference if you recorded him eating & then played it back so he could see what it's like?
Eating noises make me cringe. I actually leave the room if my dh is eating (slurping) cereal. He's fine with anything else (other than snoring 🙄)!

Posted too soon.
She cant help it
I can sit in a whole office full of people and not one of them makes a sound.
My DH is like a concrete mixer, its revolting

It must be bad if you have to put the radio on. Why should she wear headphones. Meal times are supposed to be relaxed and fun. Tell him to slow down, not keep his mouth open, slurp or scrape his plate.

@MrsGrindah

Poor man. Why are people calling him a pig? OP has said it’s not that bad. Can we all say we never accidentally make a noise?Sounds like a few manners wouldn’t go amiss on both sides. Oh and a big case of Teenage Irritation!

If you can hear eating noises its grim.

She sounds like a right rude little madam! Perhaps she should respect the person who is paying for the food in front of her instead of trying to make him feel self conscious about enjoying his food. By your own words, it really isn't that bad.

Not as bad as Grannie though who sticks out her tongue to recieve her food!

just no, no , no , nooooo!