I'm anxious. Why are you awake?

[rainatnightlove]

Had a rough day today, well month really!

-Had bladder pain everyday for 4 weeks, 2 lots of AB's w/ no change, still waiting on a urology referral from a year ago.

-Had a panic attack in the supermarket this evening.

-Partner is grumpy and constantly working (has his own business).

-Two of my best friends (there's 3 of us in friendship group) booked to go to a spa hotel this weekend last week without inviting me and I found out by accident today when one posted it in the group chat. (I can't go as it would cost 4x what they paid now as it's 4 days away!).

Feeling horrid, had a cry this evening, everything's a lot at the moment and the bladder pain is really not helping. Sent a sample to the docs today so hopefully will hear something tomorrow.

What's keeping you up?

Have a poorly DD in bed with me, been sick and is very, very warm. Que the million questions of covid test, self isolating, keeping older DD off school until we get test results, who has she been in contact with, SSP for me and partnet if we need to isolate for 2 weeks. I'm sure it's just a stomach bug, but can't take that chance at the moment.

My 10 month old kitten thought it was playtime with my feet in bed and woke me up when she pounced on them

@Crystalknobs I'm awake because I am an ICU nurse, on night shift. I am happy to answer any general questions you may have about ICU and how it works.
Just got a few minutes left of my break.

@Pyewhacket that sounds productive. Thanks for all you do.

I'm awake as I was injured in an rtc on Sunday and am in agony

to all of you in pain, anxiety and grief.

Jodi, I cannot hank the NHS enough for the care I received

I'm sitting outside a hospital room with my DH & DBIL inside with their mum, waiting for her to die. I'm listening to her breathing as the lovely nursing team chat away about hand cream, snacking after midnight and being a working mum. It's strangely comforting to be eavesdropping on normality. You must be a very special person to work in EOL care.

In a while I'll need to tell my DD who is self isolating alone in uni halls, but has thankfully tested negative for CV. We're finding out just how good uni welfare services are. She's not had a good time recently, as it's less than 6 weeks since someone saved my Dad's life when he had a cardiac arrest.

So sorry for all of those suffering emotional and physical pain. I woke up at half three with my newborn, who has since gone to sleep. Unfortunately, I've got severe yet intermittent lower abdominal pain- trapped wind, I think- so I'm up trying all possible home remedies while also being acutely aware that my toddler will expect me to get up in about two hours regardless of whether I get back to sleep or not.

I am awake as 16 year old family member OD'd and is now in liver failure. I am just sitting by the phone. Cannot settle down. Will live on tea and biscuits tomorrow I think. Don't know what to do. Heart is broken.

Mid divorce, it's messy and affecting the kids. We all went to bed sad. Fell asleep ok been awake for an hour have given up and come downstairs.

We've just found a CD of Under Milk Wood in the lounge. She always loved that, so she can leave us listening to the beautiful voice of Richard Burton. Far nicer than rainforest sounds.

I'm recovering from a herniated disc whilst sleeping on sofa due to ongoing separation from husband.

My toddler had a COVID test yesterday so waiting for the results.

I've woken up with a tooth infection and a stye - falling to bits!

My sympathies for everyone struggling throughout all of this weirdness

Feeling anxious too. Ds1 witnessed a fight yesterday afternoon and I keep thinking about it. It makes me feel sick and so sad. I absolutely hate violence and keep thinking about the poor kid that got hit. There's much more to the story but it's just all bloody horrible and sad.

Gosh sorry everybody, you’re all having such a tough time. I hope things get better for every one of you, god knows this has been such a shitty year and we could all do with a break

On the surface, I’m just fretting about my weight and how much I’ve spent recently online shopping 🙄.

Feeling a bit morose, I hate seeing my mum get older - I have no idea when I’ll next see her.

I also have Witchita Lineman in my head, which just adds to the melancholia:

Abdominal pain here (“normal” for me these days, and nights). And a menopausal bladder which refuses to let me sleep. And little stabs of chest pain from what’s left of my Covid pulmonary emboli. And absolute exasperation at being unable to get anywhere near a GP, for the abdo pain, despite wrestling valiantly with their new online triage thing yesterday.

So sorry to hear of all the pain, heartbreak and anxiety troubling many of you

It makes for pretty depressing thread!

[wime] for everyone struggling. I’ve got a procedure coming up things morning. It in pain but my head is ticking over. Normally, I’m awake in the night because of my toddler who’s a poor sleeper.

I'm angry, anxious and just so desperately sad. DF got diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago it had already spread to most organs and he died last week. It's all been so quick and such a shock and I don't think I've had more than 4 hours sleep a night for the last 5 weeks.

I'm angry that cause of Covid the two weeks he was in hospital for I couldn't visit him, he can't be seen by DM at the chapel of rest and we can't give him a proper funeral.

I'm trying to hold it together for everyone and make all the arrangements and take it all off DM, but it's so hard, it's hit DD1 like a tonne of bricks and she's Y11 so is already having a very tough stressful time with this school year. I just want to scream and cry but I go back to work today so I need to put my face on and get through the day somehow.

to everyone going through tough times.

@UncomfortableSilence

I'm angry, anxious and just so desperately sad. DF got diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago it had already spread to most organs and he died last week. It's all been so quick and such a shock and I don't think I've had more than 4 hours sleep a night for the last 5 weeks.

I'm angry that cause of Covid the two weeks he was in hospital for I couldn't visit him, he can't be seen by DM at the chapel of rest and we can't give him a proper funeral.

I'm trying to hold it together for everyone and make all the arrangements and take it all off DM, but it's so hard, it's hit DD1 like a tonne of bricks and she's Y11 so is already having a very tough stressful time with this school year. I just want to scream and cry but I go back to work today so I need to put my face on and get through the day somehow.

to everyone going through tough times.

So sorry for your loss, I hope you find the strength to get through this today - it’s extra hard being the one that has to hold it together - I hope you get some time for you.

My thoughts are with you all - what hardship times you are all going through.

I don't always sleep very well these days

Same 😞. It's a nasty cycle for me though, the more tired I get, the more anxious I feel. Think I'll get some St John's wort from boots tomorrow.

Oh, @UncomfortableSilence I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs

Sending you strength.

@Pyewhacket

cheeseburger100 .... have you tried listening to the radio at night ?. Just the sound of somebody else's voice can help. I treated a patient who served in both Iraq and Afghanistan and the only way he could sleep was to listen to late night chat shows on the radio.

Thank you, I haven't and I definitely will tonight

Thanks bricks and stuck.

I listen to podcasts when I can't sleep or audio books - sometimes it just takes the edge of the boredom and frustration at not being able to sleep.