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Original poster

We can't fully afford childcare, what's the best option?

67 replies

Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 10:08

I've done all the maths and it looks like if I stay FT we'll accru about £300-400 of monthly debt to be able to afford childcare.

If I go 25hrs with some flexibility from my employer we'd be ok. What's the best first port of call? This is all with UC which as far as I can tell it's very hard to guess how much you'll get until you do. So probably asking our CEO and explaining that the difference between my childcare bill and what he pays me is £100 (maybe not that blunt) and that unfortunately I'll have to go PT. Or is that done via HR? I know they don't have to accept but I think he'll be flexible/reasonable enough about it.

OP posts:

Submariner · 15/10/2020 07:47

Here's the link for claiming tax on your energy bills www.gov.uk/tax-relief-for-employees/working-at-home

I don't know how it works because my employer just announced at the beginning of lockdown that they were putting this in our pay packet.

Original poster

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 08:38

Thank you! I'll definitely look into to pay for gas.

OP posts:

ivfbeenbusy · 15/10/2020 10:40

What plans did you make before having a child? Or have your circumstances changed?

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Original poster

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 10:45

@ivfbeenbusy our plans drastically changed because of Covid. My mum was supposed to cover 6/4 months but she lives abroad and obviously can't travel

OP posts:

ivfbeenbusy · 15/10/2020 10:52

She can't fly into this country at all? To be honest if she's low risk and in good health I'd still see if she can come - if she's planning on staying 6 months she could quarantine this end for 10 days (think it might be reduced soon anyway from what I've read)

Surely it would be worth doing that than scrabbling around changing your employment?

Original poster

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 10:59

She only comes for blocks of 2-3 months but she's also a hypochondriac. She does have a heart condition, diabetes, hypothyroid... But I know she's thing that any cold could be it, so maybe best she doesn't come. There are no direct flights at the moment either. I can't force her. I'm sure she'd come if she thought it was safe who doesn't want to see their grandchildren?

OP posts:

ivfbeenbusy · 15/10/2020 11:03

So what was your plans for childcare inbetween when she's not here if she was only coming for a few weeks at a time? Most nursery and childminders aren't that flexible?

I'd see about a term time only childcare contract and then you'll need to take annual leave for all the "school" Holidays - our monthly cost came down hugely when we did that rather than paying year round?

It doesn't sound like health wise it would be best for her to travel at the moment?

Original poster

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 11:08

The original plan was that she would take a very big block, so say nursery would start in March /April rather January and then yes the plan was that she'd be here during school holidays. Nursery is flexible to cancel months with one month's notice (obviously they can't guarantee the place would be there) but that was more or less how it was going to work. We're at least out by four months (with those maths).

OP posts:

blackcat86 · 15/10/2020 11:34

I would be wary of your partner going to PT in case you split up. Women should consider their finances in the event of a split if they've done PT but equally if you make your DP main carer you could end up paying maintenance and having agree contact to see your child having missed out on their early years to support the family (im not saying this isn't a common situation for men BTW but it sounds like OP is home more at present).

Original poster

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 11:39

Well under these circumstances I think he'd be a carer as much as I would be. But I know that regardless with marriage I have more to lose, but it's not about that.

OP posts:

ivfbeenbusy · 15/10/2020 13:17

@blackcat86

So you'd rather the OP be on the bones of her financial arse and unable to cover her basic monthly outgoings all for the sake of having one up over her husband?! MN anti man sentiment as its best on MN 🤔

blackcat86 · 15/10/2020 13:27

@ivfbeenbusy surely its about OP having all the info she can to make an informed choice. I have seen this happen with a friend and it wasnt pretty. There are usually many other options to consider than just 1 person goes PT. In am the higher earner but went PT and started a flexible business alongside my employed role. Also OP isn't 'financially on her arse' with 2 people in decent paying jobs. It just may take some creative thinking and lifestyle adjustments.

Original poster

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 13:38

@blackcat86 but we're not in decent paying jobs (I don't you know what you consider decent) but a ore tax joint income of £40k which is pretty much equally distributed doesn't look decent to me.

OP posts:

blackcat86 · 15/10/2020 13:49

Maybe its my public sector life but we have about the same. I earn £18k on 3 days pw, DH about 15k FT but has a lot of travel costs, one 2 year old who we had to put in nursery when I had concerns about PILs kind, free but somewhat dangerous care. I get it, its really, really hard. We have no holidays, can't plan for a second child because we barely afford the first, DH also pays maintenence for teenage DSS plus other bits, I can't remember the last time I bought new clothes. But, I wouldn't say we were on our arse financially. I can save a little each month, we are fed, watered and warm. I have started a business (mostly to fund nursery fees) out of hours that is starting to get a good reputation. Arguably DH should have gone PT because I was the higher earner but I know id still end carrying the mental load and put myself in an unfavourable position should we split. It means I work a lot of weekends and evenings on my business, have had late nights doing qualifications and whatever but hey I've done it. I'm just adding a different view to all those telling you to just go back FT. That's your choice but those 2 days with my daughter are really worth it.

Original poster

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 13:53

@blackcat86 I'm not of that boat. I think both are equally as rewarding. As it is I'll still spend a full day with him and that's fantastic. If anything I feel I shouldn't go PT just because I'm the woman. We both have equal rights and obligations.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 13:56

Plus @blackcat86 we have three other children to support so we're not in similar circumstances. (We have two on top so to speak).

OP posts:

ivfbeenbusy · 15/10/2020 14:07

Also OP isn't 'financially on her arse' with 2 people in decent paying jobs.

How do you work that out then when if she factors in childcare costs she is running a deficit each month? If that's not being financially on my area I don't know what is 🤷‍♀️

Both OP and her husband earn less than the national average wage

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