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We can't fully afford childcare, what's the best option?

67 replies

Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 10:08

I've done all the maths and it looks like if I stay FT we'll accru about £300-400 of monthly debt to be able to afford childcare.

If I go 25hrs with some flexibility from my employer we'd be ok. What's the best first port of call? This is all with UC which as far as I can tell it's very hard to guess how much you'll get until you do. So probably asking our CEO and explaining that the difference between my childcare bill and what he pays me is £100 (maybe not that blunt) and that unfortunately I'll have to go PT. Or is that done via HR? I know they don't have to accept but I think he'll be flexible/reasonable enough about it.

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glassshoes · 14/10/2020 14:31

Could you and your partner do condensed hours? Potentially would free up a working day each without reducing pay?

Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 14:58

I'm more or less already doing that but I think there's definitely more potential for that in my role. His not so much.

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MeanMrMustardSeed · 14/10/2020 15:04

It sounds to me as if your DP should leave his job and take on childcare and you should stay FT. He could then pick up some evening / night / weekend / delivery work in time.

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Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 15:38

Yes I agree. He's not completely in agreement but I think it's what makes most sense.

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EmmaGrundyForPM · 14/10/2020 16:15

So when you were planning to have a baby, what did you work.out you'd need to do for childcare? I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue.

Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 16:28

It's because my mum (who lives abroad) was supposed to cover months at different times throughout the year. As it stands she doesn't want to get on a plane and I don't blame her.

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Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 16:29

Also twice increased by £200+ since we looked into it.

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pupstersdream · 14/10/2020 16:29

You need to try to both work a bit more flexibly if possible. If you can do 5 days in 4 and so can your dh (although sounds like he might have to work 4 days rather than 5) then you only need 3 days childcare.

Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 16:30

I was also promised a higher salary that hasn't materialised, it's very multifactorial

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Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 16:33

You're a genius @pupstersdream I didn't saw in that way but that makes total sense :)

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EmmaGrundyForPM · 14/10/2020 16:44

@Fressia123

It's because my mum (who lives abroad) was supposed to cover months at different times throughout the year. As it stands she doesn't want to get on a plane and I don't blame her.
that must be a nightmare.
Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 17:11

It's very sad @EmmaGrundyForPM the whole side of my family hasn't met the baby.

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Graphista · 14/10/2020 19:22

I'd be interested in fully assessing your income and outgoings, increasing income where possible and decreasing outgoings where possible.

Without knowing those details I have found that generally speaking:

Income wise people aren't claiming all they're eligible for, in whatever form, it might be benefits, tax concessions, or pay rise you've not asked for but boss would give you if you did - remember if asking for a pay rise you need to give your boss reasons you deserve it not just "I'm skint" Grin

Outgoings

Most people are paying more than they need to sometimes without realising, often because they don't want to forgo certain luxuries

Off the top of my head the most common areas where this is the case:

Council tax - check you're in the right band

Gas/electric/water - shop around and reduce usage wherever possible

Internet - again shop around I've never paid more than £20 a month

Groceries - I know stuck record - shop around, but also meal planning, switching away from more expensive options eg a lot of people choose "exotic" fruits now when apples, pears bananas are perfectly suitable, ditto veg, reduce wastage (and fuel use) with good planning, batch cooking etc Get loyalty cards for EVERYWHERE you shop and maximise the benefits

Mobiles - nobody really needs the latest model, so again shopping around not just for the phone itself but usage too, sim only deals are available from £5 a month, do data intensive stuff at home with the WiFi wherever possible, good insurance IS worth having but again needn't be hugely expensive. Some bank accounts or home insurance cover this

Tv packages - what do you actually use? I have prime (and this gets me not only prime video but prime reading, music, faster deliveries etc so for me it's worth having as I use most of the benefits) and Netflix (guilty of this one myself as I still have 2 screen package even though dd no longer here, must check if she's still using my account or not, she's a student I don't mind if she is but if not then no point me keep paying) I'm absolutely astounded at the sky, virgin etc package prices I think they're extortionate myself

Tvlicence - if you don't watch live tv or iplayer you don't need this. I do like certain bbc shows and iplayer but I'm debating losing this as I could live without them.

Commuting costs - is he using the cheapest option available to him? Is he eligible for any savings cards? Seasonal tickets? There are often discounts and offers online if you hunt too. Could he even slightly change travel time? Cos that can make quite a difference if it shifts him from peak to off peak travel.

Clothes and shoes - again shop around but also care for what you have and if you don't already then learn how to repair and alter clothes and shoes to extend their life. I have for many years had formal shoes reinforced with metal heels as most modern shoes even higher end high street ones, come with crappy rubber or plastic heels that don't last 5 mins and if the heels go the shoes end up wrecked. Clean and water protect casual shoes regularly, repair hems, replace buttons as soon as needed, shoe repair places are often good for doing minor jewellery and bag repairs too. I've a much loved second hand handbag I've had the zip replaced a couple of times now.

Would doing any/all of that help at all op?

MSE has good info on both increasing income and decreasing outgoings

I'm out of the loop on how childcare stuff works now as dd an adult but MSE had loads of info on that for me and I'm sure does now too.

MrsWhites · 14/10/2020 19:56

My experience of childminders is that they charge an hourly rate or a set day rate so you wouldn’t have to pay the 10hrs required at the full hourly rate.

Fressia123 · 14/10/2020 20:09

@Graphista it turns that people think we more or less spend as little as possible.

£500 in groceries
£160 council tax
£65 energy (both gas and electric)
£25 internet
£22 phones
£10 netflix
£15 Spotify (need it for work)
£65 water
£65 Diesel
£11 road tax
£65 dog (food and two different insurances)
£775 mortgage
£200 on repayments (we can get rid of £100)

I think that's it.

We're a family of six so it seemed like it was fairly cheap all things considered.

My DP has to take a ferry to go to work and that's £10 return so that on its own is £200

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Graphista · 14/10/2020 21:10

That's pretty good going for a family of 6, but then it's also a big family you've got plus 2 dogs? So I'm afraid I'm also thinking maybe those weren't the wisest decisions to make considering your income?

That's £1978 total? Without commuting costs?

Where I stay there are folk who need to commute by ferry (west coast Scotland) I've just checked and the ferry has season tickets of various descriptions - might be worth checking ?

Or how about if he's eligible paying for this using a cashback service or credit card?

I'm wondering if there's some kind of tax option with the travel? I'm not well up on that side I'm afraid

Graphista · 14/10/2020 21:17

Might be worth looking into the tax relief side

www.gov.uk/tax-relief-for-employees

I know you can get tax relief on clothing and cleaning clothing costs, from a glance at this you might be able to claim tax relief for the Spotify if as you say it's essential to your job (I'm curious as to the job now!)

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 05:22

I work for an online music publishing company. After a chat we figured out that we will be ok if we both drop a day (I would be condensing y hours).

With the childcare there were so many changes (while I was already pregnant) that brought us to this position.

We were renting but then they decided our dog wasn't welcome anymore so we had to buy (this eligible for less UC).

My mum and the pandemic situation.

Me on NMW when my boss said I'd have a different role when coming back from maternity (that hasn't materialised but definitely will happen in the next couple of months). My previous role paid around £50k but my circumstances were different ;/

My DP always received working/child tax credits so to him we would always be able to claim BUT with both of us working FT and although with not great salaries we definitely make too much for most help we can get.

It looks like worst case scenario we're short by £100 (after calculating every single possibility). I can probably find some tutoring or my payrise will cover it.

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Submariner · 15/10/2020 06:22

I know it's the tiniest drop in the ocean, but if you need Spotify for work they should be paying for it. Are there other company expenses you're footing? Printing? IT equipment? Have you had a look at the (small) bit of money you can get for energy bills while working from home?

EdithWeston · 15/10/2020 06:30

I'm the one with much more earning potential but my current job isn't the place for it

Then the key thing you need to do is get on with your career, not stick with current job. I hope you are actively keeping tabs on the career you really want, and are ready to make applications as soon as opportunities come up.

You have an absolute right in law to your preexisting pay and conditions when you return from maternity leave, so I can see why you would want to get away from a boss who did not respect either that or you. I would say take him on, but if it's a 'word of mouth' sector, then I can see why you might not.

Congratulations on having no pension worries, btw. Being able to provide for yourself, irrespective of employers contributions, is quite something.

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 06:47

As frustrating as it is I understand what happend at work I keep applying for jobs (I have three big applications I have to prepare for) bit it the same time I can definitely see I'll be moving roles fairly soon. I've invested so much in this company and I love the industry which makes me want to stick around until say January/February (when I have my annual review) and see what they have to say.

Apart from Spotify (which turns out I can probably claim £60 so not too bad!) There's the usual electricity/ heating costs. Everything else was provided or I already had it.

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ivfbeenbusy · 15/10/2020 06:49

Im bit confused by your numbers if I'm honest? What is your actual salary and what is DP?
You're a family of 6 so presumably the other 3 children are both you and your partners? No step kids in there?

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 06:59

No, three of them are "steps" but we count them as living with us as for expense purposes (groceries mainly) it's like they lived here. We get no CB for them and my DP pays £200 in maintenance.

Between us we make £2700 net, but his high commuting coats plus maintenance take it down to around £2200.

i also get some variable monthly income (key is it's variable) which is how were able to save, buy clothes, go on breaks, etc... And which will help with childcare but as it's variable I don't like to rely on it.

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ifiwasascent · 15/10/2020 07:17

Do you have any local friends with children the same ages? My fiends nanny share 2x days a week then nursery 3 days a week as it worked out cheaper than full time nursery

Fressia123 · 15/10/2020 07:38

Unfortunately no we have no local family nor friends that can help. It's just us!

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