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Original poster

I've just given birth

61 replies

OhToBeASeahorse · 11/10/2020 00:43

And it was shit.

1st labour was awful. I had such high hopes for this one.

Managed just in the water with no pain relief until my waters went with meconium. Then G&A and straight to pushing. Baby came out, great, then her cord snapped. So we were to be transferred from birth unit to hospital. Then my placenta wouldnt come out.

Did the whole labour naturally then ended up in theatre. Now without my girl who is in SCBU who clearly do not support BF which I'm finding difficult. They will call m to go and feed her again in an hour or so but DH isnt allowed to go, fuck knows how that will work given I cant stand.

Sorry. Just needed to vent.

OP posts:
WhereIsTheSaladDoris · 11/10/2020 00:49

Congrats darling

What a shit time for you.

Ensure you speak to mw about expressing colostrum in to a syringe. They’ll milk you if the have to

I had v similar experience- natural labour, manual removal of placenta and didn’t see baby. Demand to be near her. I kicked up a stink and got my own way.

Get some sleep, all will feel far better tomorrow. You need to recover too x

elliejjtiny · 11/10/2020 00:54

Congratulations on your baby and so sorry the birth was shit.

Can the scbu nurses bring the baby to you for feeds? They did that with my ds after 5 awful days of trying to breastfeed him on demand when he was in nicu and I was on the postnatal ward and struggling to walk (this was before covid though).

He wasn't allowed to be discharged from nicu with a feeding tube in but they wouldn't take the tube out until he was fully breastfeeding. I couldn't walk down to nicu and back every 2-3 hours so we were stuck in a vicious circle.

Pacif1cDogwood · 11/10/2020 00:57

Congratulations! Thanks

And commiserations that it was not a good experience.
Hopefully it will improve.
BFing is still possible, express when it is practical for you, feed when it's practical for you both and try and move past the shit that happened around your labour and delivery.
Hope you feel a lot better tomorrow and will be united with your DD.

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testing987654321 · 11/10/2020 01:08

Congratulations Thanks

Tell them you do want to breastfeed if at all possible. I imagine it's hard to deal with things not going as expected.

TableFlowerss · 11/10/2020 01:15

Oh wow congratulations! I bet you’re in shock. Hopefully you’ll be reunited with your baby very soon and you can put this horrible experience behind you. Hope you get some rest xx

EachandEveryone · 11/10/2020 02:03

Have they got rooms on scbu you can get discharged to? I imagine she will need antibiotics for afew days.

imissthesouth · 11/10/2020 02:39

Congratulations! It's much better after they're born I promise x

MovingFarFarAway · 11/10/2020 02:44

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theamplifier · 11/10/2020 02:49

That sounds really traumatic. I hope things settle soon and you can enjoy your precious baby. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you're not coping mentally, and tell your story if you need to, to friends who won't tell you you're overreacting. It does help to talk about it.

Sending you Thanks, you've done really well, sorry it was a shit experience towards the end.

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 11/10/2020 02:54

Thanks everyone. I'm in a postnatal room. I've just asked if I can go and see her and see if I can feed her again. My midwife was amazing but said that the SCBU staff are quite pro FF so I'm.anxious. they've said DH cant come with me this time and I cant walk so I'll need someone!! BUT ,- if she feeds well they will take her off the drip and come back with us which would be brilliant. I want my girl.

OP posts:
IHateCoronavirus · 11/10/2020 02:54

Congratulation Bear on your lovely baby girl.

So sorry it was shitty and traumatic. Be loud and demanding re the BF. You’ll never see them once you leave the hospital and after the birth you and baby have had you deserve a shot at a good bf experience if that is what you have been aiming for.

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 11/10/2020 03:00

Thanks. They've said I can go down at 3.30. I've shed loads of colostrum but SCBU wont accept syringes...

OP posts:
Changedmynameagain1 · 11/10/2020 03:11

Oh OP I feel for you. My 2nd I ended up with the same procedure to have my placenta removed in theatre and it was bloody brutual!
No one ever warned me it might happen!

I felt like I’d been run over by a bus, hugs for you xx

SnuggyBuggy · 11/10/2020 03:26

I can relate to the situation where SCBU don't practically support BF. I was treated like an inconvenience getting in their way for wanting to do it. Keep expressing as often as you are able as this will encourage your milk.

It's really no good for the NHS's pro breastfeeding stance if the message doesn't even reach all their departments.

Doggywoof · 11/10/2020 03:58

Congrats OP! I too am sorry your birth didn't go as planned, can only imagine how it is!

I used to work in SCBU and NICU, we wheeled mothers into both units to breastfeed to encourage BF if they cannot walk themselves. If long term stay is anticipated, we move mothers into our transitional beds. Ask if they can do the same?

Neonatal staff indeed are pros in FF, no doubt. But it is a shame to let your precious colostrum go to waste. Can I suggest maybe you syringe them anyways and store them in their breastmilk fridge? When DD is back in your arms, you can give them to her! Like other posters mentioned, keep expressing to get the milk coming in! Hospital grade pumps are good options to use while you are there.

All the best!

mrssunshinexxx · 11/10/2020 04:01

Sorry you've had a tough time but if you really want to BF and don't get to you are going to feel a lot worst so be demanding she is YOUR baby!
Why won't they accept syringes ?
Presume your husband isn't allowed because of bastard Covid ?
Be heard x

thaegumathteth · 11/10/2020 04:11

Poor you. I had a rubbishy second birth and midwives who kept taking my baby away to ff and it was heartbreaking.

Is your dh with you? Not sure how it works now! My youngest is 10 so we were only allowed visitors 2h a day.

Make sure you drink plenty and cry if you need to and do not worry AT ALL about being a 'difficult' mum. You're not, trust your instincts.

Takethewinefromtheswine · 11/10/2020 04:14

Congratulations on your brand new baby girl! Everything feels rubbish in the middle of the night. I hope you get a little sleep and there's a good plan made tomorrow for the both of you. Flowers

Mummysgonetobed · 11/10/2020 04:45

Congratulations on your brand new baby, I hope you’ve managed to get down and see her and feed her.
My last baby was in SCBU after being transferred from post natal in the middle of the night, it was so scary. I’d had a section and was still very much hobbling. But they did wake me to go feed him, several times during the night. They certainly had plenty of formula ready to go but encouraged breast first. I hope you get the same.
Fingers crossed things will look brighter in the morning. Sorry you’re having a shit time.

nameisnotimportant · 11/10/2020 05:18

I had a similar situation. Unfortunately you have to advocate for yourself. They just want to formula feed because it is easier for them. You are the Mother and you want to breastfeed. Take the syringes down to the NiCu with you. Express as much as possible to get your milk going while baby isn't with you. They can't give formula without your consent and so they have to accommodate your situation if you want to breastfeed. Don't let them fob you off. Ask to speak to the Doctor/consultant or Manager if you have to. Good luck and so sorry your birth didn't go as planned, it sucks big time but your baby will be back with you in no time.

B1rthis · 11/10/2020 05:26

I'm in absolute awe of you - what a harrowing time to birth and you did just that?!
Remember that the medical professionals work for you, you consent for you and your baby to be fed or administered anything or have any procedures.
Ask them for ALL the information and then make the decisions. E.g., mother and baby separated, what evidence based research suggests pros and cons?
Hospital policies are not law. Suggest your husband contacts a local postnatal doula and gets some advice on his rights to support his family in the hospital. He must be going out of his mind!

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 11/10/2020 05:39

Thankyou everyone.

I've just been down to see her and she fed for about an hour and a half!!! So they are just doing her paperwork and then she will be back with me. My catheter is out and hopefully the cannula is soon to follow.

Thank you all for being strong for me and her!

OP posts:
hulahoopqueen · 11/10/2020 05:43

Congratulations OP that is absolutely wonderful news!! Well done to you and your beautiful girl Thanks

BirdsDoIt · 11/10/2020 05:51

Ah OP that’s fantastic. Well done. I’m sitting here with a wakeful 9 week old and was reading this thread very much hoping you and your baby girl are doing ok! Great that she is feeding so well and can be back with you v soon. Try and get some rest if you can. And congratulations on your lovely new baby!

EachandEveryone · 11/10/2020 06:08

OMG are you in the uk? I’ve never known a unit that isn’t pro breastfeeding. I’m really sad to hear it. At least they are sending her back. Congratulations x

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