Which set of GPs is closer to your kids?

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My mother is much closer to DS than DHs, despite them both living close by.

In laws as they are local, my dm lives in another country in a different time zone and I don't talk to my DF.

FIL died quite early so he's out of the equation: my eldest can remember him just, but not my youngest. I wouldn't be able to say which they were closest to of my MIL and my parents. Neither lived nearby so it was always a journey to see them. They stayed for longer periods of time but less frequently with my parents, shorter but more frequent visits to my MIL. Lots of fun and adventures with my parents but then again MIL was a lovely bubbly warm person so you couldn't help feeling at home with her.

My 3 brothers all have children who are close to our parents so don't think it's to do with gender here.

Equal.

@Sapiophile that’s exactly what my MIL was like when ds was little whilst FIL did nothing and then they wonder why the kids don’t want to spend time with them .They didn’t help the relationship when they went NC with me when ds was 5 as dh was never very good at encouraging the children to go visit .

My parents and their partners.
Husbands parents are 3 hours away, are moving but still not close to us

Mine, they videocall the kids every day. My fil was besotted with mine, especially my dd as she was his only granddaughter and he had no daughters of his own. Mil is now a widow and enjoys them for a bit but is not the type of gran to sit and play with them. She is 62 so not that old just not that interested which is a shame. We still make the effort to pop in on her or have her around to ours once a week in normal circumstances.

My parents will sit on the floor and play with them but are younger at 53 and 58. They dote on them even though they don't see them that often as we live four hours away. Mine are the only grandchildren on my side of the family though whilst mil has another grandson.

Mine because when DH died, for whatever reason, PIL decided they didn't want to know us anymore 🤷‍♀️

MIL is very sweet and is probably closer to the kids than my mum ( who is a bit too much of a handful for the kids to handle).

My dad is closer to the kids than FIL who is more distant and seems to only communicate through the language of "taking the piss", which stopped being funny a LONG time ago.

My parents are dead but SIL DC are PIL favourites anyway.

Both sets pretty equal. Mine live an hour and a half away and so we see them frequently, but day trips, maybe overnight. With DH's parents they live 5 hours away, but we'll stay there, or they stay with us for 4/5 days a couple of times a year. (Not this one!)

My parents, my kids barely know my oh parents even though they live in the same village!

My in laws, but as my parents are both dead and were very ill for some years prior to their deaths, that isn't setting the bar particularly high. Though my MIL would tell you that she would have been favourite regardless. My DD, who is the only one of my children who remembers my parents in relatively good health, feels quite different and often says she wishes they were still here. As of course do I.

Mine.

DP's mum made an enormous fuss when she got pregnant, insisting she wanted to be involved in everything and tearily lamenting that she'd been 'shut out' of her older grandson's life. When DD was a baby she'd grab her (bodily) out of my arms and told me DD was more hers than mine.

After about four months the novelty waned and she's barely bothered since, whereas my mum actually makes an effort.

It's sad.

@peakygal, that's so sad, I'm sorry.

My mum is closest to them by far.

Then DH’s dad.

Then my dad.

DH’s mum died before they were born. They see DH’s dad the most often because he lives locally to us (Or they did, pre-lockdown) although he also is the only one that works full time!

Both in different ways, which is nice. DH parents have had more issues, but have always kept up by phone. My parents have always been really hands on and helped lots in a crisis. My sibling has attachment disorder, so that bond is a tricky one, but DH sibling is a really caring aunt and makes an effort to keep up the relationship.

1. My mum
2. My dad (they are divorced)
3. PILs

None of them live close by but both my parents make more effort / are more interested and as a result DC are more comfortable with them.

IL's (only GC). My parents make it clear their preference lies with (golden) sibling's kids.

DHs parents. Mainly as DD will be going there once I return to work 4 days a week, we've tried to encourage a strong relationship with them to make the transition easy for her. My parents are still very involved though

This thread is making me feel really sad. I only have a son and I guess that unless any future daughter in law decides she likes me then I’ll never have a relationship with my grandchildren 😭

Well, frankly, that attitude might be your problem, @embarrasseduser!

My mother is my DP's MIL, and my mum always made it clear that, while she hoped her DIL liked her (and she wanted to like her DIL), she was also and primarily a grandmother who wanted a relationship with her grandchildren.

Having also been a DIL myself, to a MIL who can't be bothered with grandchildren, I would say that it's the relationship with grandchildren that matters most. I would like my MIL a whole lot more if she were more interested in getting involved with my daughter.

My MIL told me, repeatedly, both before and shortly after birth that she considers the maternal grandmother the 'real' grandmother.

So, her daughter's children are her 'real' grandchildren, not mine.

Which probably explains why we don't have a lot of contact with her tbh.

I think it's fairly hit or miss if your the grandmother on the dad's side. Most people I know are closer to the maternal parents.

Wel they both live in the same county about 30 mins from each other but in different towns. But in a different county to me. So it,s about even.

Neither set. My family live some distance away; my DPs family are just a bit shit. I feel disappointed about it sometimes, but them's the breaks I guess.