Help me find a funeral poem / reading for my mum

[Crunchymum]

Non religious, doesn't have to be funeral or death related per se.

I know its very personal but I've spent the whole day looking and have drawn a blank.

Fear no more the heat of the sun

From Cymbeline I think.

I went to one where 'Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep' was read, and was very moving. It was very 'her', though and fit with her beliefs, which were spiritual but not strictly religious.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Sorry for your loss @Crunchymum

Could you tell us a little bit about her? It might help people come up with ideas.

how about do not stand at my grave and weep, it has some nice meaning to it or this is an extract that i've got down to use in my funeral wishes which is from a children's book but it's comforting;

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.

Remember

Christina Rossetti

I carry your heart by E E Cummings, is one of my favourites

I know you said not religious but this has brought a lot of comfort to me and others I've shared it with. It has also been set to music.

What is this thing that men call death

What is this thing that men call death, this quiet passing in the night?

’Tis not the end but genesis of better worlds and greater light.

O God, touch Thou my aching heart
 and calm my troubled, haunting fears.

Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure, give strength and peace beyond my tears.

There is no death, but only change, with recompense for vict’ry won.

The gift of Him who loved all men, the Son of God, the Holy One.

I like 'Remember' by Christina Rossetti

Song lyrics might be another place to look. The Show Must Go On by Queen is one idea, or Nothing Compares to You (Sinead O'Connor sang that as a tribute to her mum). Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton.

I'm very sorry for your loss op.

We had this one at my mother's funeral.

She Is Gone (He Is Gone)
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

So sorry for your loss . Google 'death is nothing at all'. It's beautiful x

Sorry for your loss . Helen Dunmore (who sadly passed away in 2017) wrote a very moving poem called Hold Out Your Arms.

Not Show Must Go On, sorry. Great song, but I've just looked up the lyrics and it doesn't lend itself to reading.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Sorry for your loss *@Crunchymum*

Could you tell us a little bit about her? It might help people come up with ideas.

Other than all the clichéd shit (much loved wife and mother, heart and soul of family etc...) my mum always made us feel special and that she cared. She remembered the little things. Not just birthdays and big dates but she'd be the first to send a message to see how one of the grandkids got on after their first day at nursery. My youngest DC is disabled and my mum would be the first to see how every appointment went.

She loved her home and her cat, she loved this time of year (all the events leading up to Christmas) and she was the least "funerally" person you'd ever meet.

Her ethos was not to commemorate her death but to celebrate her life.

So sorry for your loss Crunchy mum

My eldest chose this for my Dad earlier this year.

Thank you for the suggestions, I've actually seen some of these already (and put them on the list!!)

I'll check the others out now.

I came across this one a while a go which I thought was lovely.

So sorry for your loss @Crunchymum.

As someone else has mentioned up thread 'She is Gone'. I think it is beautiful and I read it at my DGM's funeral several years ago.

If you're up for song lyrics, Wind Beneath my Wings could work. So sorry for your loss

"You saw the road was getting tough
The hill was hard to climb
You gently closed your weary eyes,
And whispered peace be mine"

Sorry for your loss, but that was for my own mother when she passed.

How about

And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.”
Raymond Carver

I'm sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I read death is nothing at all by canon Henry Scott-Halland at my beloved aunts funeral. I felt that it was the only thing I read that summed up and made sense to me at the time and it brought me great comfort.

A little bit from it here:

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.

💐

Sorry about your mum. There’s a twitter account @what_death with links to loads of beautiful poems.

Sorry to read of your loss. I hope you are proud of all your mum did.

Did your mum ever indicate any poet whose work she liked?

When great trees fall