If I told you I feel like this, what would you say to me?

[Pickypolly]

Professional job, high up, years of experience.
But, for about 6 months feeling:
Paranoid, like they are all talking about how crap I am but no one wanting to tell me.
Waiting to fuck up and make a mistake at any moment,
Undermined, incompetent, questioning about what I’ve done/am doing raises anxiety levels, makes me be defensive.
Overwhelmed with workload, dreading opening emails because I know it’s more work being piled on.
Not sleeping. Physical symptoms...and I have not had a day off sick for about 15 years, so I’m never ever sick.

I don’t touch alcohol at all.

Classic symptoms of work related stress. Antidepressants can calm all the paranoia and fear. It's a cycle of not sleeping, working on adrenalin, not sleeping, paranoia, not eating, stress, inability to concentrate and a rapidly escalating descent into madness. Other ways are going extreme on sleep hygiene, shutting off work emails when you lead the office and exercise. You'll burn out quite quickly at this rate. Go and see your GP. I thought I was going mad. I knew I was getting overwhelmed at work but I was under immense pressure i.e. not adequately trained on a job where I was responsible for compiling, pricing and quoting jobs worth £1 million + where there really wasn't room for error in quoting at that level. I ended up leaving the job through VR while I was off sick.

If peri-menopause is what's causing the op's problems, AD's are not the solution, HRT is.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/health/menopause-antidepressants-symptoms-worse-hrt-shortage-a9148951.html%3famp

It's work related, so given that the op hasn't mentioned that she's peri-menopausal, I'm sticking with my internet diagnosis.

@Dancingwithdaftness

If you bothered to actually read the thread, the op has confirmed she is peri-menopausal.

I did bother but must have crossed posts with her.

At least I suggested she see her GP. You're suggesting she writes it off as 'perimenopause' or women's troubles. It's far more likely to be stressed caused by incompetent management.

Bit of both I think. Terrible combination.
GP is obviously the place to start.

Given that there are no blood tests to test for peri, what on Earth can the GP do?
Surely they can’t just throw HRT at something without a definitive diagnosis.

Peri is diagnosed based off of your symptoms. I recommend you see a specialist/gynae if your gp isn't helpful.

Bless you. I think you may be a bit burned out. How do you feel about your own recent performance at work?

It's horrible and unprofessional if people really are talking about you, that really should not happen but it's possible colleagues are concerned for you and not against you.

Sometimes a break is in order or even a complete change but these are difficult times. Put your own health and happiness first and good luck.

Oh this is me too. Menopause! Your ability to tolerate previous levels of fuckwittery is gone - it's like the scales fall from your eyes. Start with the easy stuff like vit d etc and get thee to the GP for the good stuff!

I think you might need some time off to look after you... shocked at a lot of the responses! Ring your gp, explain how you feel and take some time off to look after you.

You're describing my peri-meno symptoms, but of course it could also be burnout/workplace stress/just one thing too many on your plate bringing everything crashing down. See your GP - and take the day off!

I’m assured that people really are not talking about me and that I am very much respected but I feel paranoid.

I’m peri and still having periods... tried anti anxiety meds which did nothing. Hrt is wonderful stuff... stick a patch on twice a week and feel like me!

Lolly! That has completely won me over! I do want to slap a patch on and feel better, if it’s as easy as that, I’m in!
Who knew that the answer was that easy thank you x

All your points were work related so I wondered what happened at work 6-8 months ago, what changed 6-8 months ago.

sounds like you have an explanation you like, now, though. Hope that means you are on a path to feeling better soon.

Like PP peri menopause. If you have symptoms then the GP should give you HRT. Watch Marirella Frostrop (can’t spell either!) on BBC iplayer. Very interesting.

I’m hoping I can work my dissertation on the peri-menopausal as I don’t think it’s talked about enough and really believe women suffer for too long with symptoms before getting help.

Ah too soon!!
HRT has changed my life. Whacking a patch on really did improve my life

had a colleague who was quietly very popular suddenly get incredibly paranoid that all her colleagues hated her and were plotting against her. HRT worked for her

Yeold, COVID hit where I work, badly. I had started a new job about 6 weeks prior and all my plans & hoped for that role were completely derailed and I had to change everything.
I revolutionised my path, went head on into it, made huge strides forward but then was challenged over & over by a very young, very inexperienced manager who had been thrust into her position because of COVID.

She pretty much made my life miserable, planted the seeds of paranoia and stamped on all of my self worth.

I do know that peri menopause is at play due to changes in my thinking over the last year or so, along with hot flushes and sleep issues.

Bad combination.

Great idea. Give women hormones to treat arsehole bosses. My God.

Feel very similar to you OP, including that creeping paranoia that no one rates you, and terrifying, paralysing brain fog.

But I'm 48 and started HRT in May. I got Estrogel, not patches, and got a new Mirena 2 days ago so I don't have to take oral progesterone. Hoping things will improve with recently increased dose of Estrogel and a vitamin B complex - if not then it's the job sending me demented!

It’s so difficult isn’t it Ester.
I love my job, I’m good at it.
I am leaving it though for a less stressful one soon.

I don’t want the same thing to happen there so need to sort out my hormones.

On the drugs to treat bad bosses point. There are wazzocks in every workplace. We're mostly strong, feisty and able to deal with them - displaying tolerance, patience and wisdom, building bridges, being open, putting in time and effort. For me, peri has been like a lightbulb where I just don't have the patience or energy to try and build the bridges like before! It's totally like fuck this for a game of soldiers. So yeah, not so much treating bad boss which we can't control but treating us so we can.