Why do posters feel it is okay to attack the OP

[NoEffingWay]

I keep seeing threads where the OP is ripped a new one. I thought that maybe I was being unfair but I spent some time in 'classics' the other day and there appears to have been a tonal change. There was humour and compassion in spades, and people were able to make comment without being deliberately hurtful and judgemental.
After nearly ten years here I'm considering leaving because it pains me to see women (in the majority) being so unkind to each other.

I know right OP! I recently had a backlash on mumsnet! It really is not ok!! I think you should not leave though as there are some genuine people out there from my experience of one week but no one needs to know that

Been here 12 years and i think it’s always been like that.

The threads in classics are there because they are funny or supportive. This place has always given the op a flaming on a regular basis. Not condoning it but I've been around here for years and haven't noticed much of a change in attitude.

.... oh..... the temptation.....

Because it’s social media. Not saying that that makes it Ok, but there’s no reason to think it would be any different.

Well if op is being a dick then why not?

Bullies and inconsistent moderation.

@NiceGerbil

Well if op is being a dick then why not?

what if op isnt being a dick hmmm..

@SameToo

Been here 12 years and i think it’s always been like that.

Really I got reccommened mumsnet by a freind saying it was kind supportive and always there to help you

It's just bants innit

Well we can’t check everyone’s kindness credentials though. Also people have bad days, OP hits a nerve, people are genuinely angered by the thread, they might be pissed etc. Same reasons why anybody starts an argument really.

I try not to “ attack” but if I feel the need to disagree then yes I will and if others do too it’s might be seen as “piling on”. Context is everything.

I've been on here for ever under various names and I think that these days it depends on where and what you post. Start a light hearted thread about vicar songs or why CV seems to avoid East Anglia and you'll get light hearted replies in the spirit of the thread. Start a thread in AIBU about how you want your DH to cut his CM to your step kids and you will get ripped one. TBH if you can't stand the heat keep out of AIBU but the threads on the various topic boards are very supportive.

Also, if you are posting on AIBU with a genuine problem as you need the traffic/quick attention and you meet with lots of kindness, sympathy and support.

I'm always amazed at the mum on mum pile ons especially if the OP isn't sufficiently stepford wife enough. If she's not totally self abasing and willing to put aside every shred of her autonomy and dignity watch out. Lots of not RTFT type comments too.

There are times I go to post a thread and end up deleting incase I am attacked over something minor. Then if I do post I am nervous waiting for a response! It's a shame

i actually think some of the more acidic posters have been driven out or made to be less unpleasant.

9 times out of 10 it's because it's a really stupid question.

Usually the clichéd "I have allowed my child to get away with murder" type.

Lack of intelligence

There's still lots of kindness and compassion. Just look at the relationships boards sometimes to see women supporting other women to recognise that they're being abused and help them to leave a relationship before they're damaged or dead.

There has been a change in the last few years but from my POV it's more about the xxxxx, xoxoxo, hun type posts. AIBU has always been a cut throat place to post so you need to have your flame proof suit on if going on there.

Personally I don't feel the need to be constantly nice or kind and I'll call shit out when needs be.

One person's attack is another's exasperated answer

If a post is twattish, especially on AIBU then should all the responses be sugary sweet?

Don't forget the organised trolls who are wanting Mumsnet closed and one way of doing that is to drive people away, as well as target advertisers. Personally I think if more people defended the OP at once against those posters who just like to rampage with their dicks out, they would give up and bugger off. Or totally ignore them with a side eye comment.

@Angrymum5 your friend lied

I see a lot of supportive posts - not necessarily in AIBU. If you think mumsnet is bad then you should stay away from Twitter.

@gamerchick

Don't forget the organised trolls who are wanting Mumsnet closed and one way of doing that is to drive people away, as well as target advertisers. Personally I think if more people defended the OP at once against those posters who just like to rampage with their dicks out, they would give up and bugger off. Or totally ignore them with a side eye comment.

Flowers to you Well said my friend!

C.15 years ago mum sent was intelligent and honest. People gave their opinion without sugar coating it, but it could be blunt.

Then mumsnet got its nickname 'nest of vipers'

Then it was an amusing description.

Gradually, people thought it was a nest of vipers. And not only that, that was how they HAD to behave.

And, I’m sorry to say, I think the education level of people joining the site dropped.

Gradually people thought that on mumsnet you had to be nasty.

Now I think that is growing.