So much fat bashing

[Atalune]

I am so sick of seeing fat bashing threads. Either by those who are fat or by those who hate the fat.

Yes I can hide them!

It is constant and it’s really terrible and annoying and makes me rage.

It’s either people posting about an obesity tax/fine. Or people saying they are fat and how awful they feel.

It’s just so shit.

We come in all shapes and sizes. The end.

@Atalune It's absolutely not ok to comment uninvited on the bodies of others. However it says more about the values of the person commenting. You won't stop the debate but you can choose how you contribute.

We don't completely understand the science behind obesity yet but this will come.

People like to think that self hatred is motivating to improve health as it pushes people to lose weight. It really isn’t. Generally when people are more successful at losing weight anyway it’s because they don’t hate themselves and they see it as something positive they would like to do for self-care. Therefore, loving your body whether big or small is great for everyone.

I think it depends how it's said. I am overweight right now and the heavier I am the more my back hurts, the slower I am and I just feel awfully unfit. I wouldn't say I was disgusting though.

I thinks it's a difficult balance between body positivity and not encouraging people to be unhealthy. I have heard people say that anyone who talks about losing weight is fatphobic and I do not agree with that. I will talk about losing weight and actively participate on a thread on here to support that. It is all personal about how people feel about themselves which I think is fine.

Personally, I don’t see a lot of “fat bashing” on here. I see people stating that making healthy life choices and being a healthy weight is a positive thing. I don’t see this as fat bashing. If it is, then doctors and the entire NHS are also “fat bashing.”

@Fancyateapottea

Personally, I don’t see a lot of “fat bashing” on here. I see people stating that making healthy life choices and being a healthy weight is a positive thing. I don’t see this as fat bashing. If it is, then doctors and the entire NHS are also “fat bashing.”

That's not what op is talking about

I see very few people who say that they are disgusting, however the truth is that while you might not like people talking about weight, it does make a difference.

If you’re overweight you are more likely to suffer from heart disease, breathing difficulties, and are more likely to have serious consequences from COVID. That’s not fat bashing it’s a fact

And whether people like it or not how they look does have an impact on what other people think. It’s naive to e.g. think that if you’re morbidly obese there aren’t going to be potential partners who just won’t find you attractive.

Personally I don’t think we acknowledge the obesity crisis enough. Everyone is shut down now because we apparently don’t know what someone has gone through to be obese. Maybe if we acknowledged more that people are setting themselves up for serious health problems we as a society could do more about it.

Nobody has an issue with saying to an alcoholic that they’re going to have serious problems, or a drug addict or a smoker, and many of those issues may come from underlying details in their lives. But the fact remains that those health issues still exist. It doesn’t matter how you got there, if you stay there it’s likely going to be worse for you than if you try to do something about it.

I’ve hated my body and been on and off different diets since I was 11. That’s almost 20 years of self-loathing.
I’m tired of hating myself and feeling sub-human just because I’m a little bit fat. It’s utterly exhausting.
From some people’s attitudes on Mumsnet (And society in general) you would think being fat is the worst sin the world and we all need to be rounded up and disposed of. It’s hard to not let that get to you. It doesn’t matter if you’re nice, intelligent, hardworking kind, fun, helpful etc - being fat over shadows everything for some reason!

What I find odd is there seems to be no middle ground it's just slim & NHS straining obesity. Nothing in between.

And whether people like it or not how they look does have an impact on what other people think. It’s naive to e.g. think that if you’re morbidly obese there aren’t going to be potential partners who just won’t find you attractive.

See there, straight to obesity.

I used to model & plenty of girls/women hate their bodies even when a healthy weight because their boobs are too small/big, bum to flat, cankles, short legs etc

It doesn’t matter if you’re nice, intelligent, hardworking kind, fun, helpful etc - being fat over shadows everything for some reason!

I think this applies to women, it's more acceptable for men to be fat.

@lacylass

That is really good for you Atalune that you are comfortable in your own skin. I suppose the difference is some people are not and want advice or want to make changes. I'm miserable when I'm carrying more weight than I want to...it doesn't however mean I judge others.

Well said @lacylass.

It’s naive to e.g. think that if you’re morbidly obese there aren’t going to be potential partners who just won’t find you attractive.

I’m a size eight and plenty of potential partners don’t find me attractive.

I'm slim & I think most people would say Ashley Graham was more attractive than me, I agree!

I know what you mean OP.
I started a thread to get some ideas of where to get size 14-16 trousers for my DD to wear to school. One of the first replies told me I should put her on a diet.

Or people saying they are fat and how awful they feel.

What wrong with that? Aren’t people allowed to share their own feelings about their own bodies?

It’s interesting that the bit people are taking from
My posts is that I have no right to tell people
What they can and cannot say about their bodies.

That is correct. I have no right. And I said that form the start.

It is also correct that people should be able to ask for advice or being to moan about it. That’s fine. I’m really sad about the way some people talk about their bodies. I think that’s really horrid. But that’s my opinion.

What’s quite telling and a bit alarming is that people on here don’t see the link.

And yeah ok obesity isn’t brilliant. But loads of things aren’t brilliant.

Fat bashing isn’t helping.

Fat denying isn’t helping either though.

There is nothing to be gained by name calling about any “ flaw” . So I agree with you on that part but not sure what else you expect people to say?

I expect them to say bugger all. Your body is a private matter.

And cheap shitty food and crap housing and shitty legislation that puts profits before people is the hill to die on.

No I didn’t mean that. I meant what did you want people to say in response to your thread?

One of the problems with publicly expressing how awful you feel about your weight is that when someone says they look disgusting, want to cry, hate themselves, and then post a weight that is significantly below your own, you feel implicitly fat-bashed yourself. Of course, people can post what they like, but when it is very derogatory and quantifiable, it is rather insensitive, and not essential to say that when seeking support and advice.

I agree with you OP. I'm probably the heaviest I've ever been right now but I refuse to beat myself up over it. Will I loose weight? Probably. Will feeling shit about myself help that? Definitely not. This body made my son, it got through a pregnancy that left me housebound and was then launched into lockdown. It's still here. It's still doing what it has to do and I won't be shamed because it expanded in the process.

It is total bollocks @Atalune agreed 🙌🙌🙌

Not everyone is obese because they eat too much, or eat crap, or don’t exercise enough. It would be kind if some of you mentioning the above acknowledged that.

Nobody should be saying they hate anybody for any reason. But I don’t think anybody should pretend it’s normal or OK to be fat. I don’t know if that really helps fat people take control of their issues and improve their health and their lifestyles.