Chrissy and John

[Fast90]

I’m so sorry to be reading about the loss of their much wanted son, Jack.

They must be in so much pain.

I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge baby loss. This morning I’m thinking about all those who have experienced such heartbreak

I feel so sad for them
I can't get why they've received negativity. It shows that no matter who you are, baby loss can happen to anyone.

I like them anyway, she is very open about the ups and downs of life and fertility and marriage.

It feels like when people in the public eye lose a child it's very much kept to themselves, I think it shouldn't be the taboo it is as it can happen to anyone and anyone who goes through it will have so many questions and feelings

It’s a life changing loss, this poem might give other a slight insight into how this feels
And it’s so much more common then people seem to want to realise

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in other's eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so that they don't hurt quite so much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

I am so sorry for them both and think they are brave in sharing their story and photos. Too often, loss of a baby in pregnancy is treated like a dirty secret, not to be spoken of, which must rob some people of the chance for support and understanding.

I'm another one who has been through this. I'm very sorry for them and so grateful for the decision they took to open up about this (I hope they didn't "have" to do it, because the pregnancy was already public or whatever else). Baby loss in itself is utterly heart-wrenching, but then to go back out into the world and find that it's simultaneously incredibly common and a taboo subject is terrible. It means you have to fight quite hard to put your feelings somewhere.

Idk who she is. She miscarried and my heart goes out to them. I’m torn about sharing such a raw moment of grief. On the one hand perhaps it is good too highlight emotions and mental health and on the other it seems exhibitionist to have had the forethought to photograph your wife in her grief. Documenting and publishing all aspects of our lives can be so detrimental to our mental health. I wonder which part of our private lives is sacred tbh.

@Mummyoflittledragon

Idk who she is. She miscarried and my heart goes out to them. I’m torn about sharing such a raw moment of grief. On the one hand perhaps it is good too highlight emotions and mental health and on the other it seems exhibitionist to have had the forethought to photograph your wife in her grief. Documenting and publishing all aspects of our lives can be so detrimental to our mental health. I wonder which part of our private lives is sacred tbh.

Agreed, its not the sharing of grief that makes me uncomfortable it's the idea that if I was crying in a hospital bed why would my husband be taking a photo of me and not cuddling me? Very sad for them though. A good friend of mine lost 3 babies at this stage and has photos of the babies and her and her dh with them framed and they do not make me uncomfortable at all. It's the one of Chrissie on her own crying that seems off. But everyone deals with things in their own way i guess.

Then grandma comes along..and she is added to the mix
I found it just very uncomfortable viewing.

@Dowser

I don’t know who they are but I saw photos and realised their baby had died I cannot understand why they want to share such private photos with the whole world. What on Earth is the matter with people when every heartbreaking moment of your lives has to be captured on camera.

Wtf. Honestly how dare you judge someone for how they choose to grieve their child?

why would my husband be taking a photo of me and not cuddling me?
I believe they had a bereavement photographer, I have seen them work before when women know they are going to deliver a stillborn baby due to a scan. I think it is a lovely way to remember your child.

It is incredibly sad and I really love Chrissy, such a funny woman. I think it is the most cruel thing for politicians and others in the US to turn this into a political pro-choice argument. Disgusting.

@TeddyIsaHe
Back at you love!

Exactly in the same way that you are judging me for having an opinion on a public forum.

I've had three miscarriages, two of them this year and no live children yet. The more people that talk about this the better, especially in the public eye.

Until it happens to you, you don't realise how common it is. It's criminal that we don't talk about it more.

[quote Dowser]@TeddyIsaHe
Back at you love!

Exactly in the same way that you are judging me for having an opinion on a public forum.[/quote]
Me judging you for being insanely heartless no way compares to the drivel you have written.

I didn't know who this couple were until this awful event happened. I do now though. 🤨

I cannot comprehend being photographed at one of the saddest times in my life and then sharing that worldwide.

I hate the media circus and the fact that celebs feel compelled to document their lives in such a way.
Every. Single. Aspect.

When I was grieving my dead baby I screamed in the street, I cried in restaurants and posted on social media because NOTHING makes it better and you try everything in your power to make it even bearable. You have absolutely no idea how you will react, or want to act until you have felt that pain. So stop fucking judging and don’t post if you can’t show a little empathy.

I suspect the reason that people don't like the photo is the same reason we're not supposed to mention we're pregnant before 12 weeks; it makes others uncomfortable. We wouldn't dream of doing the same to people grieving the loss of a loved one in any other circumstances but with miscarriage and baby loss people still expect us to stay quiet, not mention it, don't talk about it etc.

It is hugely damaging for women and couples going through it.

I think for people who grew up "Extremely Online" it's just your normal, and people who didn't have that experience can't understand it and think it's attention-whoring or exhibitionism.

Not to make this about me (sorry) but I was housebound with health problems for a few years, and the Internet became my entire life, my family, my social group, my support system. Anything that happened to me, the first thing I'd do would be to post it online. Because to people who live online, online is the real world. And the online world is no less real than the offline world; it's still all just people, talking. People are weirdly judgy about the Internet but it's just another medium for people to communicate. I mean, look how many people have found comfort and support through miscarriage right here on MN.

Obviously being a celeb puts a slightly different dynamic on things, but I have friends who are famous who find that the Internet is the only place where they can be themselves and have a voice and that actually it removes the barriers preventing meaningful connection with others. Chrissy is very active online and I'm sure she derives great support from it and has made friends and developed a social/support circle online.

Of course no one should judge how someone else grieves, but I hate the idea that living life online means that you're attention-whoring, or superficial, or anything else. We're all social animals and the online sphere isn't inherently lesser than any other social sphere.

@TeddyIsaHe

So you think you’re the only to have a lost a loved one?
What makes you presume that.?

My mum had a stillborn baby boy before me.

It was NEVER talked about. i'm sure there were whispered conversations but, in those days (late 50's) it was looked upon as a 'private shame'; as though some transgression had taken place.

My (living) brother and I knew nothing about our elder brother until my mum became very elderly with slight dementia. Then my brother looked into the records, found the burial place of our brother (my mother had never been told where he'd been laid to rest) and took her to visit the site. He'd simply been removed from her at birth and taken away - we like to think finding a grave site gave her some closure, after over 60 years.

The more open we are about baby loss, the less things like what happened to our family will continue.

I suspect the reason that people don't like the photo is the same reason we're not supposed to mention we're pregnant before 12 weeks; it makes others uncomfortable

I think you've hit the nail on the head there. A lot of people think that if something makes them uncomfortable it must be the other person's fault, when sometimes they should be thinking about where that discomfort has come from.

People posting about how it seems 'off' can't surely think they have a good point? A lot of people find sharing helps their grief, they need to feel that it's real, that this baby existed and that he'll be remembered. That's why bereavement photographers are so helpful to so many people.

If you don't understand why people grieve differently from you fair enough, but please stop telling people their way of grieving is somehow wrong because it's not what you would do. Just carry on with your own narrow minded life and keep your mouth shut about how other people choose to deal with the loss of their child.

They're very public people and Chrissy Teigen puts everything online, so it seems pretty natural to me that they would document and share this.

Why does grief need to be private? Is there any shame in losing a baby and grieving?

Most people wouldn't criticise them sharing pregnancy photos, baby photos, so I don't see this as any different. They document and share all parts of their lives.

It’s so sad. I actually think it’s good that they’ve shared the images, even though it does feel intrusive to look at. It’s also very real, and I have no doubt that their being so open and honest will help countless other people.

Of course it makes people like us on the outside uncomfortable, you are looking at images of a woman sobbing for her dead child but the point is, it’s her grief, her child, her life, she has every right to deal with that in whatever way she feels is appropriate and helpful to her and her family. She doesn’t need to give a shit about how it makes other people feel!

It's incredibly sad. I think they are very brave to share the photos, especially knowing that they will be criticised for doing so. They share all their happy moments, so it makes sense to be open about their saddest moment.
Hopefully it will give some perspective to the idiots people who think the rich live gilded lives.

@Winnietp

It’s so sad. I actually think it’s good that they’ve shared the images, even though it does feel intrusive to look at. It’s also very real, and I have no doubt that their being so open and honest will help countless other people.

I think it will help a lot of people who have been though/are going through the same experience. Why shouldn't we talk about baby loss? It happens to so many women.

Everyone deals with grief differently. Some want to heal in private, for some people talking about it helps.

I'm heartbroken for her, it's a devastating experience to go through, I can't imagine going through a later loss. They have had fertility problems and used IVF to conceive their two older children. They've been very open about that and I think it has helped others going through IVF too.