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Original poster

WFH......WTF

84 replies

madcatladyforever · 29/09/2020 22:53

Seriously though, how the hell do people with families work from home? I only did it for 2 days while I was recovering from some minor surgery - I work in the NHS so normally go in.
Every darned meeting I had the cat was either wailing outside the door or sitting on my lap saying cheese for the camera.
What do you do with your small kids/husband. How do you block out the noise, how is it even possible?

OP posts:
notalwaysalondoner · 30/09/2020 09:38

I live in a small two bed flat in London and even when my housemate is in the office it’s tough with DH in the living room/kitchen and me in her bedroom. It would be fine if DH and I both worked 9-5 but we both often work in the evenings and it’s why we’ve spent most of lockdown at our parents as there we have our own work rooms that are not the main living room. I hate having DH’s work stuff all over the table and having him working late in there when we’re making dinner or trying to relax. It just feels like you can never switch off. We’re planning to go to our parents again for a few weeks but if this continues into next year we may kick out our flatmate or else move to somewhere bigger further out of London.

MintyMabel · 30/09/2020 09:42

What do you do with your small kids/husband

Surely the answer is obvious here?

Both of us work from home, we check our calendars and when one has a meeting, the other is on parent duty.

Africa2go · 30/09/2020 09:43

Still here.

H and I have both worked from home FT since March. With 3 children. 2 children back in school now but 1 already been sent home for 3 weeks on account of someone in the year group testing +ve. Its been really difficult.

I think the logistics are only part of the problem. H and I both have jobs where we are on the phone (H is very client facing / confidential discussions - he has taken over the lounge), I am in a bedroom, occasionally in the kitchen.

Its the "cabin fever" element that is most difficult - the lack of separation between work and home, the lack of interaction with others. The fact that I have to have a desk within a metre of my bed, its all feels too close, no separate "down time" space, the fact that all my team see my bedroom when I'm on a Zoom call. I know that sounds petty but I've really struggled with it and no plans for either my H or I to return to the office until at least next year.

In the scheme of things, we'll get through it - with others having a MUCH harder time, I'm grateful I still have a job, we're healthy etc. But so much harder than I expected.

emmathedilemma · 30/09/2020 09:43

I think my colleagues have coped amazingly well. There's been a few interruptions from kids and dogs barking, a couple of cats appeared on video. It's been fun to see them and I think everyone accepts that it's not going to be the same environment as people being in the office and that was made quite clear to us by management from the start.

GiraffeNecked · 30/09/2020 09:48

DH is working from spare room. He's only been catbombed once. The puppy barking at random stuff 'man outside on pavement alert', 'postman walking past house alert' is more of an issue for him.

Also the fact that I'm using him working from home as very handy for getting all sorts of bods round to sort stuff out that needs doing in the house. He's having to make constant cups of tea for smiley workmen.

FinallyHere · 30/09/2020 09:49

@Africa2go

the fact that all my team see my bedroom when I'm on a Zoom call.

Have you tried the 'alternative' options for background ? Even in a TV studio, the background is often fake. 😀

KoalaandRabbit · 30/09/2020 09:56

Our cat joins in all of DH's meetings, his colleagues love her and always ask for her and she loves the attention and thinks they are calling to see her. I do hear muttering when she walks on his keyboard during it.

The children know to be quiet but the cat is a DH magnet. Grin The cat now gets really cross anytime DH leaves the house.

Africa2go · 30/09/2020 10:01

@FinallyHere it doesn't seem to work if you're Zooming on a phone which I have to be for some meetings - long story - but I'm not the most tech savvy, will keep trying though on a laptop, thank you Smile

TooManyDogsandChildren · 30/09/2020 10:08

I enjoy seeing other people's children and pets on calls. We all have a life and a brief interruption is neither here nor there.

Littleideasbigbook · 30/09/2020 10:26

DP has only just started wfh today (we both work in the NHS but he has been frontline but can now do report writing from home 1-2 days a week).

I thought it would be romantic and he went and bought eggs, salmon and crumpets to make me a breakfast but he is irritating me. He keeps interrupting me to ask me things about food, coffee, noise etc when I am trying to do statistical analysis (which I am not good at) and my RA is flaring up so I am irritable. This is not the dream. My three DC's were easier to deal when they were off school than DP Grin.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2020 10:33

In case this hasn't already been said, it's often best to use video as little as possible (we almost never use it, the screens are put to better use for slides, demos etc). And mute yourself when you're not actually talking.

DominaShantotto · 30/09/2020 10:36

I'm now doing my uni course online... trouble is the kids are so bloody fascinated by what I'm doing they tend to sit and read the fucking lecture slides!

Am considering a nerf gun to fire at them when they won't bugger off and leave me to work!

thepeopleversuswork · 30/09/2020 10:36

WFH in lockdown with no school/childcare was one of the most hideous experiences of my life (yes I know that makes me pretty privileged).

My employer didn't allow the slightest concession to the fact that I am a single parent with no support whatsoever and loaded the work on, alongside veiled threats about what would happen if I didn't get it done.

I coped with it by relying upon screen time to give me the uninterrupted time to manage zoom calls and all the rest of it. My DD became pretty low and the guilt was horrific.

I know there were people in worse situations than me and I counted my blessings but to be honest I'm still pretty traumatised by it and incredibly angry with the government and my employer for not factoring this into my situation.

I saw it as another example of how the male ruling and employing classes consider women to be second class citizens and don't bother making any assumptions about the challenges of their lives.

Suffice to say things are better now schools and childcare are open again but if things shut down again I'm going to be a lot more militant about it.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2020 10:37

I thought it would be romantic and he went and bought eggs, salmon and crumpets to make me a breakfast but he is irritating me. He keeps interrupting me to ask me things about food, coffee, noise etc when I am trying to do statistical analysis (which I am not good at)

You need to establish boundaries. Ask him to treat you when you're working as he would a colleague. If a colleague was sitting concentrating on their work presumably he'd pick his moment to ask them if they wanted a coffee, not just barge in. Putting headphones on as a "do not disturb" signifier might help.

Lockdownseperation · 30/09/2020 10:39

DH works from home. He has a separate room upstairs to work in, noise cancelling headphones, a spare keyboard for the cat to sit on.

Ariela · 30/09/2020 10:42

When the kids were little I WFH full time, it was awful as people assumed WFH = at home. So available for visitors, kids to be dumped at yours when they went to work/appointments etc - which wasn't so very bad as a friend to play was often sufficient to stop the whining 'Muuuuummmm'. I imagine with everyone in same boat there's more appreciation of WFH now
Luckily been able to do WFH and go to work throughout lockdown, it's been nice.

underneaththeash · 30/09/2020 11:14

DH had a interested chicken in his teams call last week. There was a bit of tension, so it broke the ice somewhat.

Concretenotcement · 30/09/2020 11:23

The novelty of my colleagues cat ‘accidentally’ walking in front of her laptop camera has definitely worn off. Every bloody call. I know for a fact she works in an office with a door that closes, shut the bloody door and keep your cat out.
Once or twice, fine, and funny. 6 months on its really irritating, especially when we have external clients on the call.

Anniissa · 30/09/2020 11:24

No meeting has ever not been improved by the addition of a cat!

DominaShantotto · 30/09/2020 11:35

@Anniissa

No meeting has ever not been improved by the addition of a cat!
We had a request for any random dogs or cats to make an appearance this morning!
Icanflyhigh · 30/09/2020 11:39

I've been doing this since we went into lockdown - I WFH anyway, but all meetings now via Zoom etc.
DP keeps the kids out of the way and my only issue is the cat who seems to have started his own 'only fans' page and insists on showing his goods off to the camera at any opportunity!

FinallyHere · 30/09/2020 15:32

the male ruling and employing classes consider women to be second class citizens

As a woman who is not a parent, I at least am very clear that childcare is very much a parent's, rather than a woman's responsibility.

FinallyHere · 30/09/2020 15:40

@Africa2go

The virtual background works better for me on my phone 😀

I can only set it up when I have video running. There are three dots in the corner of my phones screen, selecting them brings up this screen. Virtual background is the one to go for. Good luck.

WFH......WTF
pinkyredrose · 30/09/2020 15:41

:-)

WFH......WTF
Suzi888 · 30/09/2020 15:44

Converted cellar/office/escape room Grin Thank lord!