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Original poster

Funeral songs, is this inappropriate?

38 replies

LookingForJul · 28/09/2020 19:39

We lost our second DC yesterday. Another baby girl. We're shattered into a million pieces.

Cruelly, we lost our DD around the same gedtation September last year. No explanation.

It sounds ridiculous but I find it strangely comforting to plan ahead and sort things practically. I think I have decided on funeral songs but H isn't overly keen on the last one, although he loves it he said people might think us odd for choosing an upbeat song at the end.

Entrance song - The Duchess theme tune from the Keira Knightly film the Duchess.

Reflection song - I think it's gonna rain today - Nina Simone

Last one at exit, Sunchyme by Dario G

OP posts:
MsF1t · 28/09/2020 19:49

If you like them and they speak to you in the right way, then they are appropriate.

So sorry for your loss. Thanks

ChelseaCat · 28/09/2020 19:50

I’m so sorry for your losses Flowers

As PP said, the only thing that matters is that the music says what you want it to xx

Aworldofmyown · 28/09/2020 19:53

Choose whatever song you want. It has nothing to do with anyone else.
Sorry for your loss.

AlexaShutUp · 28/09/2020 19:55

I don't know the songs, but if they mean something to you and your DH, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

I'm so sorry for your loss.Flowers

bearlyactive · 28/09/2020 19:55
Flowers
MrsAvocet · 28/09/2020 19:56

So sorry for your loss. Flowers
If the music is meaningful to you then its perfect, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Original poster
LookingForJul · 28/09/2020 19:56

Thank you, my grandad demanded he had 'Another one bites the dust' played for him and many people were very Shock

I just didn't want to appear insensitive.... Sad

OP posts:
TheGinGenie · 28/09/2020 19:57

Agree, it's your choice so whatever you want. I wouldn't worry what others think. I'm sorry for your loss.

Original poster
LookingForJul · 28/09/2020 19:57

Have a listen to Sunchyme by Dario G if you get a moment Flowers See if you can see why we like it...

Everyone would have heard it before. You just might not recognise the song title

OP posts:
Artesia · 28/09/2020 19:59

So very sorry for your loss OP. I have always loved Sunchyme and don’t think it’s inappropriate at all.

AlexaShutUp · 28/09/2020 19:59

OP, in this situation, people need to worry about being sensitive to you and your DH - not the other way round. This is your event, your loss, your grief. You need to do it in a way that means something to you.

Your grandad sounds fab btw...love his sense of humour!

bearlyactive · 28/09/2020 20:01

I love Sunchyme as well, I remember singing it in a choir once - it was mainly "heya ma-ma-ma, heeeey oh, ey na ma-ma-ma" on repeat. I can see why you like it!

Chimchar · 28/09/2020 20:03

I'm so sorry about the loss of your baby girl. Sad
I agree with everyone that if it's right for you, then whatever you choose is fine. X

emala · 28/09/2020 20:06

I'm so very very sorry for your loss, I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling 💔
One of my friends passed away after battling lung cancer, she was such a beautiful person inside & out. Sunchyme was the last song played at her funeral xxx

TenShortStories · 28/09/2020 20:07

There's nothing wrong with upbeat at a funeral if you feel that's what you'd like to have. As for worrying about seeming insensitive - others have to think about being insensitive towards you because this is your loss, but it doesn't go back the other way. All you have to think about is honouring/celebrating your baby's life in the way you feel fits you best. Nothing more Flowers

The Sunchyme song has a very nostalgic hopeful feel, it's nice.

moglovesquotes · 28/09/2020 20:07

It's a lovely song
Flowers I'm sorry for your losses

Original poster
LookingForJul · 28/09/2020 20:11

Thank you, so glad people get it Star

I feel absolutely torn to bits but feel an inner warmth at the possibility of my two girls being together, never alone whilst they wait for me

OP posts:
Pixxie7 · 28/09/2020 20:11

You should have what you want. Meaning less I know but I am sorry for what you are going through.💐

Original poster
LookingForJul · 28/09/2020 20:14

Pixxie It isn't meaningless. It's everything

OP posts:
Gabrielknight · 28/09/2020 20:17

I work in a crematorium. You'd be surprised how many people choose very upbeat music, it makes people smile and think of happy times.

Poppingnostopping · 28/09/2020 20:19

I love this song! Makes me feel really well and happy inside, but I think it has a lovely message in it, the vibe of it anyway. I'm so sorry for your losses. This is heartbreaking. I think a lovely sunshiney song is absolutely great for your dd's funeral, but it's up to you both, have a think on it and go with what feels right.

LemonandLavender · 28/09/2020 20:22

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girls. SadThanks If you want it then it's perfectly appropriate.

Personally at least for an adult, but it's fine for a child too, I prefer the last song to be upbeat. It should also be a celebration of life so for me it's very appropriate to have an upbeat song but no one else's opinion matters.

A friend who lost her child had Praan as the final song particularly because she loved the lyrics. It's somewhat upbeat but very moving and beautiful.

Translated lyrics.

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day 
runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.
It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth 
in numberless blades of grass 
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.
It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth 
and of death, in ebb and in flow.
I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life. 
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.

She still listens it to sometimes and it brings her some comfort.

Sunchyme is beautiful too and if that's what you want then you should have it.

CthulhuInDisguise · 28/09/2020 20:24

I'm sorry for your losses, its heartbreaking. My DH planned his funeral after his cancer diagnosis and had Who Wants To Live Forever and Enjoy Yourself as his two choices (i chose the third piece). His funeral was beautiful because his personality was all through it, he had chosen almost every detail. I think it can be comforting.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 28/09/2020 20:24

Op I think Sunchyme is a lovely song and I can see why you've chosen it. So sorry for your losses, I wish you luck and peace for the future Flowers

LemonandLavender · 28/09/2020 20:24

And don't worry about being "insensitive" This is your loss. Only you and your husband's feelings really matter so put yourself first and do whatever is right for you.