What do you do whist DC are in school

[Hiccupiscal]

I am a SAHM (I co-parent with ex H, who has DC one week & I have them the next)
I left my job a couple of years ago as I hated it.
The job I had is not something I would go back into.
I am lucky that we survive off DPs wage.

But im wondering, if you are SAHM with kids in school, what on earth do you do all day? Im looking for some inspiration of what I can do?

At first all the staying at home and pottering around was refreshing, but im now getting up in the morning and wondering what on earth my purpose is?

Of course there's housework, looking after my pets, getting DC to and from school on my weeks..

But what else? What does the average person with free time actually do?

I used to go to gyms and classes but ive been really put off by the covid and having to book classes in advance.

I'm hoping this post doesn't come across any other way then someone desperate to find something to do and wondering what it was others do!

Sometimes I actually go for a nap, just to pass the time! It's pretty sad!

[tearsandtiaras]

why don't you volunteer somewhere - help to improve the quality and wellbeing of someone's life less fortunate than you

[Speckledhen617]

Why don't you look for a job or do some volunteering?

[Makegoodchoices]

I’m still furloughed so I have the same life right now - fortunately I live in an area with a few SAHMs so we go for regular walks. I do a lot of cooking and try out new recipes. I pick little projects for house improvements or the garden (today I planted a load of bulbs for the Spring to cheer me up) and I watch a fair amount of Netflix.

Only one month to go for me though. Unless I get made redundant, which is a possibility.

[BlackberrySky]

I am not a SAHM myself, but people I know who are often volunteer at the Citizens' Advice Bureau, charity shops or care homes. You could also be a parent volunteer at your school to listen to the small children reading.

[frustrationcentral]

I've volunteered for a few years - mainly home start but also a couple of local charities

[Hiccupiscal]

I did do some volunteering, I care about environmental issues so do unpaid litter picking, however, this came to a halt when covid hit..

My only issue with regular volunteering is that I do care for my mother too, and sometime she needs me quickly- but regularly not.

Of course volunteering is great, but had already thought of that. I would love to volunteer to gain experience to do a job i would actually like to do one day, but ive no idea what I'd like to do, or how to do it!

For reference I'm 33 and worked in care for 10+ years.

....33 is no age to have absolutely no direction and nothing to do!

[Madcats]

I volunteer for Citizens Advice (used to be Treasurer). They take volunteers of all types (advice, marketing, PR, research and campaigning).

What sort of interests/skills do you have?

Lots of mums round here do yoga/Pilates/running groups after drop off.

How about getting on a waiting list for an allotment? We live downhill from a big set and they have been very (socially distanced) busy places in lockdown.

Or study something at college (pottery/painting/language/cookery)?

Lots of charity shops are keen to get younger volunteers (as their traditional workforce tend to be elderly).

Oh and plenty of mums get a dog once their child starts Junior School!

[TweetUsOnFacebook]

Upcycling? I know some who upcycles furniture and sells it. She doesn't make a fortune but she loves it. She also has caring responsibilities so it's something she can drop if she's needed.

[Hiccupiscal]

@Madcats

I volunteer for Citizens Advice (used to be Treasurer). They take volunteers of all types (advice, marketing, PR, research and campaigning).

What sort of interests/skills do you have?

Lots of mums round here do yoga/Pilates/running groups after drop off.

How about getting on a waiting list for an allotment? We live downhill from a big set and they have been very (socially distanced) busy places in lockdown.

Or study something at college (pottery/painting/language/cookery)?

Lots of charity shops are keen to get younger volunteers (as their traditional workforce tend to be elderly).

Oh and plenty of mums get a dog once their child starts Junior School!

Thank you to all who have responded!

I actually have 3 dogs already, 2 are giant breeds, you would think that these would keep me busy, but the bigger the dog is, the less thier actual needs. I could honestly likely never walk my one breed ever again and she wouldn't care.
I also have chickens but besides feeding and letting out, they require very little.

My skills are minimal to be honest! I have no idea what I am good at, I was in care and ran a wgole care team for quite a few years, but in the end i resented it as I couldnt keep up the long and unsociable shifts. I wouldnt want to go back, although out of complete boredom I have considered it, but the shift patterns are not school friendly..

Being away from home for long hours isn't an option due to having animals etc.

I do garden but do alot of this with DC & DP. Even grow some veg etc. You think this would be time consuming but once everything is done, there's nothing to do but watch things grow & small amounts of maintenance.

We rent so we are limited in what i can do in the garden and house, and financially we just about scrape by.

I started on piling on the lbs at one point as I would eat and comfort eat just to find something to do, now im breaking that cycle its even harder, as the times I would have filled with breakfast, lunch, snacks etc are now just more bloody free time.

I must sound ever such alot like I'm whinging about first world problems, but i honestly feel like my life is just passing me by, I used to look at SAHM or those who didn't have to work and feel jealous and wonder how lovely it must be to have all that time, now I can understand why some people get depressed or pile of weight over time!!

[sickohsickofthisshit]

I have five children at home I don't have time to scratch my arse I dream of being bored ...

[Hiccupiscal]

@sickohsickofthisshit

I have five children at home I don't have time to scratch my arse I dream of being bored ...

Where are you based? I'll come and help

Honestly, we also agreed to this lifestyle hoping i would become a mother again. We did the ivf a few years ago but failed, and we just cannot afford another round, especially when covid hit and money became even more scarce.

I'm getting to a point where I really need to find something as its becoming more likely the dream of being a full time mum will stay just as that....

[Plesky]

Honestly, I think very few people are really suited to being SAHMs. I'm certainly not, but it never even occurred to me to do it. You sound equally unsuited to it, so in your shoes I wouldn't be thinking about gym classes and how to fill time, but to serious thought about what area I wanted to retrain with the aim of getting back to the workplace asap.

[Zebrasandfairytales]

OP I do loads of different YouTube workout - there’s loads on there, for all different tastes and abilities! When I get free time I like to do a dance workout, I’ve also been doing the Fast800 diet and it’s given me a real sense of control back during lockdown. I’ve also been doing up and repurposing old furniture, decorating, cleaning up and clearing out, reading, gardening, batch cooking and baking, writing a blog.

I actually work so I don’t get any time at home when the kids aren’t here at the moment but this is what I did when I was furloughed.

[BlusteryShowers]

I'm not in this position but if I were, I think I would look at getting onto a course, possibly Open University but ideally (covid aside) part time at a physical university.

I fantasise about just learning for the fun of it without any pressure about it impacting on a career/ being able to find a job at the end of it etc.

[formerbabe]

I'm currently redecorating my house, also decluttering.

I ebay stuff

Baking

Cooking, cleaning, general housework.

I'm never bored, in fact I don't have enough time to do everything I need to.

[chunkyrun]

Op I'm going to sound like a miserable cynic. If shit hit the fan and you had to go back into care would you be happy doing that? I'd be using this time wisely to learn new skills and monetising hobbies/interests. What about your own pension?

[Dillo10]

Sorry OP but I don't understand why you don't work... You say you can survive on DPs wage but you are renting... Personally I would try and pick up something during school hours a few days a week... Obviously these are your life choices but I would have to be a home-owner and financially VERY secure to choose not to work at 33, even part time. Sorry if that sounds insensitive, you may have other reasons for renting than financial limitations...

[Hiccupiscal]

@Dillo10

Sorry OP but I don't understand why you don't work... You say you can survive on DPs wage but you are renting... Personally I would try and pick up something during school hours a few days a week... Obviously these are your life choices but I would have to be a home-owner and financially VERY secure to choose not to work at 33, even part time. Sorry if that sounds insensitive, you may have other reasons for renting than financial limitations...

Absolutely not insensitive or harsh at all!
There's absolutely other reasons we are renting and dont own currently, but absolutely too outing to write here.
Owning somewhere should be possible in the very near future.

Also @chunkyrun, I agree completely with what you are saying, my point of the whole post is, I have no idea my skills, I have no idea what i want to do or be (and neither have I ever have known, I never had any direction in school or after school, i see people doing jobs on television and i often wonder where on earth these jobs were dreamed up, or how these people knew about them - bat expert, chocolate historian, scientific whales watchers... how did they even know that these jobs existed?!)
My horizons were as limited as childminding, hairdressing or working in a shop. These felt like the only careers I knew at 16 and I had no idea what i was supposed to do (but knew I didnt want to be any of these)

I went from job to job after school until i landed in a care position and worked my way up, until I resented it.

...i am totally at a loss and think the questions regarding my future are very valid.

I'm just so bored of having nothing. I agree with PP that some people can do the whole SAHM thing, but i don't think I am one of them.

It doesn't help that I don't have any other mum friends, either.

[TW2013]

What about setting up as a dog walker, gardener or maybe decorating? Being self employed you could set your own hours and expand them as your dc get older/ on weeks your dc is with the ex. Working isn't just about the money, it gives you a reason to get up. Even if you just do it to pay into a pension.

[BrieAndChilli]

I’m on furlough and now the kids have gone back to school I have been looking for jobs (as my hours will be reduced in November), started a PRINCE2 home study course and am getting yearly accounts ready as I’m treasurer for the scouts.

[Mitsouko67]

OP would you be interested in training as a teacher or social worker or similar?

Something like that could be fulfilling and conducive to family life?

You sound like you have a lot to give.

[KenAdams]

I say this like a broken record - you are not lucky to live on your partners wage, please get some skills so you can support yourself if you ever need to.

If you're just scraping by surely the most obvious thing to fill your time would be to get a job?

[Plesky]

@KenAdams

I say this like a broken record - you are not lucky to live on your partners wage, please get some skills so you can support yourself if you ever need to.

If you're just scraping by surely the most obvious thing to fill your time would be to get a job?

I say it too. Likewise like a fucked record.

[WrongKindOfFace]

There are masses of free short courses you can do online. They won’t necessarily give you a formal qualification but they might help you find out what you’re interested in?

[Hiccupiscal]

Thank you to those who have replied above the last two PP, but just to address @kenadams/@plesky

Yes, i am lucky we can live on DPs wage, but the point of this thread, isn't because im sat around saying "I dont want to work/do anything"
I am asking for suggestions and trying to gauge what it is other people in my situation/similar, spend time doing, what I can do, and see anyone outside of my limited view, comes up with anything that strikes a cord with me.

Ive so far had some excellent suggestions and food for thought, that is really quite helpful when your days feel full of nothing, to get some good advice and suggestions.

In regards to scraping by, this wont always be the case and as with most people right now, covid has had a big effect on our financial situation.