What do you do whist DC are in school

[Hiccupiscal]

I am a SAHM (I co-parent with ex H, who has DC one week & I have them the next)
I left my job a couple of years ago as I hated it.
The job I had is not something I would go back into.
I am lucky that we survive off DPs wage.

But im wondering, if you are SAHM with kids in school, what on earth do you do all day? Im looking for some inspiration of what I can do?

At first all the staying at home and pottering around was refreshing, but im now getting up in the morning and wondering what on earth my purpose is?

Of course there's housework, looking after my pets, getting DC to and from school on my weeks..

But what else? What does the average person with free time actually do?

I used to go to gyms and classes but ive been really put off by the covid and having to book classes in advance.

I'm hoping this post doesn't come across any other way then someone desperate to find something to do and wondering what it was others do!

Sometimes I actually go for a nap, just to pass the time! It's pretty sad!

[WrongKindOfFace]

Open learn and future learn have loads. More ideas here. nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/find-a-course/where-to-find-free-online-learning

[Cravingcake]

All those saying get a job don’t realise how hard that is to find at the moment. I’m in the same position where I was working but in March my role was made redundant. My kids are now back in school thankfully and I have been applying for jobs since July/August.

I have just started volunteering at a local charity shop to give me something to do. I need to do something with my ‘free time’ with other people otherwise I’ll end up very depressed. The social interaction helps.

[Suzi888]

I don’t have to time to be bored. I work 18.5 hours a week. 1 dog, 1 child. (1DH-self sufficient).

Go to the gym, hair salon, nail bar, shopping, classes, take a course, learn a language, get a job.
What do you enjoy doing, outdoors, indoors, creative, helping people, volunteer for a bit. Good luck!

[BackforGood]

I've just come out of a (Zoom) meeting with a whole list of jobs we need doing for the folk I volunteer with, and no-one to do them. A lot of them are admin-y type jobs that could be done at whatever time of the week suits you, they just need people to keep on top of the "paperwork" side of things. Would something like that appeal ?
This is with Scouts, but I'm pretty confident nearly every organisation out there - Guides, BB, GB, St Johns, Playgroups, Toddler Groups, Churches, Sports Teams, Music Groups, and every other organisation you can think of, would love for someone with time on their hands to get in touch and say 'Can I help?'

Just on the skills you have mentioned - our Local hospice has volunteer gardeners. As does the local Community Garden. Or there used to be an organisation that goes out and picks fruit that would otherwise go to waste and deliver it to 'junk food' type projects to use (people contact the organisation and say they have a plum tree in their garden but won't use them all). The Cinnamon Trust is a charity where people walk dogs for people who can't walk their own dogs at the moment (as are ill or infirm).
There are lots of groups that have 'befrienders' that (in these times) phone people up once or twice a week, who live alone and otherwise don't speak to people. (In non- COVID times, there is more scope to visit). Charities like Age Concern, or Methodist Homes Live at Home Scheme, but, since COVID, LOTS of these have sprung up locally as so many more people were having to stay at home.

There really is SO MUCH volunteering you can do flexibly (around your Mum needing you).

[Thehogfatherstolemycurry]

Yep do some courses. I used to volunteer in school reading with the little ones, doing photocopying and such when I only worked part time, might be a thought post covid? Set up something working from home, dog walking? befriending the elderly? There are a good few local groups doing shopping and such for the vulnerable atm.

[ChickensMightFly]

I'm building a house, with my own two hands. Keeps me busy. 😁

[Plesky]

I’ve never thought for a moment you were lazy or disinclined to do things — if anything, you sound restless and energetic.

My point was only that people tend to mouth platitudes about ‘being lucky enough to be able to stay at home’ when (A) it’s really not ‘lucky’ to be economically vulnerable and (B), it only feels remotely like a good thing at all if you’re the kind of person to enjoy being a SAHM. You clearly aren’t, and you’re itching for something that suits you better, and good for you.

Have a serious think about any line of work that’s ever attracted you, and other posters may be able to suggest sources of support and advice to help you figure out what you want and how to get there.

[PeaceAndHarmoneeee]

Lots of volunteer opportunities around. Some volunteering things that friends do- local library, befriending, food bank, Reading with kids in school (think that's on hold due covid), working with the homeless etc

[Daphnesmate01]

Hi OP, sorry to hear about your fertility issues.

I am a lot older than you but can relate to what you are saying. Previously, I have worked full-time, then dropped down to part-time, then became a sahm after the birth of my second dc. I have a pre-schooler, so not in the same situation yet but soon will be and I have thought about being on my own and unoccupied a lot during the day (obviously the housework is always there, waiting and someone said, more than likely a project which could be undertaken).

Fortunately, finances mean that I can remain at home and I have decided that this is where I would like to be as two of my dcs are still young.

I have decided that I will attempt a bit of scattered approach, having no career aspirations as such and keep things low key. I have a hobby I enjoy and another that I aim to turn into a low key business (both mean that I will be alone for much of the time) so, I plan to volunteer one day a week and I also plan to join a walking group, plus one other group in the evening connected to one of my hobbies. The walking group will consist of mainly retired individuals but I seem to get on better with people who are older than me. I am in a strange space - too young to retire but feeling too old to be bothered to re-train. I think we will also end up getting a dog sooner or later.

If money was absolutely no object (and I wasn't directing the majority of funds toward dc, I would study - most likely for an MA. something just for me).

Good luck in working things through. Perhaps think about things you enjoyed as a child and go on from there. If someone asked me what I wanted to do when I grow up, I still wouldn't be able to answer as I have always drifted from one office job to another. I don't miss the work as such but I do miss the adult company I had in my last job (nature of job has changed and wouldn't be the same if I returned, plus getting hours to fit around the family would be a headache). After giving this much thought, I feel a whole lot happier now, thinking about doing some things that I actually might enjoy but I've realised one thing alone, will not fulfil all my needs.

[Kote]

I'm in a similar position, not a SAHM but I moved to a new country earlier this year for DH's work. I stay home all day and never find myself bored with nothing to do.

Things I do/have done:

• set up my own WFH small business (selling books), this takes up a few hours each day
• cooking, trying out new recipes
• lots of reading
• housework/grocery shopping
• exercise (no gym required - I go running and do Yoga with Adrienne via Youtube)
• organising old photos, videos etc. I am currently putting some video montages together of past trips DH and I have taken.
• catch up with TV series and podcasts I have been meaning to watch/listen to for years
• job searching.. not the easiest!

If I were you I would also look at some free courses online, there must be something for almost any subject. Try a few out and see if you can find something you're interested in. I think this is something I need to do myself too.

[katy1213]

As for bat experts and chocolate historians, those jobs didn't exist; they made them happen for themselves, turning a passionate interest into something that makes some money, but probably not very much.

[Jimdandy]

You asked what people do all day, have been given loads of nice suggestions then proceeded to shit all over and dismiss every one 😂😂

[Hiccupiscal]

Thank you so much to all who have replied to my thread, so many great suggestions and things to think about, I always thought things like college courses were difficult to get into and needed basic training (ie. GCSEs), im going to spend the day looking to see what courses are available near me and how I get into them.

Thank you @WrongKindOfFace for the link, im going to look at this today.

@BackforGood thank you for lots of things to try/think about! My DC started scouts a few weeks before everything locked down! Scouts stil hasn't reopened, but yes, why it never occurred to me that I could volunteer to help at something like this, i don't know.
Volunteer Gardens would be good & i do some work already for Olio, which is an app where people advertise surplus food for free.

@Daphnesmate01 thank you for such a lovely post, you have put almost exactly how I feel more articulately than I could have done. I relate to pretty much the whole post. I think when your life in your head looks different to the reality its very easy to get stuck, double up with having no direction and you've got the making of being very frustrated!

Thank you again all who have provided answers, an insight into thier lives and suggestions.
Just this thread has made me feel like there are possibilities for me, i just needed some encouragement and to hear what is out there - I've been playing with writing this thread for a while, but MN can be a odd place and I didnt want to come out of writing this feeling more hopeless than before.
Luckily the huge majority of responders has made me feel like there is more i can be doing, and given me some great ideas.

[BrieAndChilli]

Also although I realise at the moment it’s not possible due to social distancing/lockdown rules but if you are available it’s prudent to help out other working mums by hosting play dates, helping with school run etc. Then once you are back at work you are owed lots of favours!!

[Hiccupiscal]

@BrieAndChilli

Also although I realise at the moment it’s not possible due to social distancing/lockdown rules but if you are available it’s prudent to help out other working mums by hosting play dates, helping with school run etc. Then once you are back at work you are owed lots of favours!!

I would actually love to do this! My DC would love it too, but i don't know any school mums. Only being at the school 50% of the time doesn't help either. I could really help a family who needed before or after school care for DCs.
Lovely idea, but not sure how to put it into practice, especially with the current situation!

[user1471462115]

What about your future if you have no record of National Insurance ?

How will you claim benefits, pension, even get health care if your NI record is not good enough.
Brexit means no free stuff for anyone who hasn’t contributed, and there is no way to work out who was born here and who immigrated other than NI.


Check this out on the Gov Gateway website as it really is scary how vulnerable you are without an income and more importantly a good NI record.

Women who went to uni may still need to work until they are 60 to get their full stamp and full pension. 35 years of contributions is HUGE

[Daphnesmate01]

User. Good point about pensions. It is worth looking into. I think whilst you claim child benefit for a child under 12, certain contributions are being made toward the state pension, but I have absolutely no idea how much is credited/its value etc.

[Hiccupiscal]

@user1471462115

What about your future if you have no record of National Insurance ?

How will you claim benefits, pension, even get health care if your NI record is not good enough.
Brexit means no free stuff for anyone who hasn’t contributed, and there is no way to work out who was born here and who immigrated other than NI.

Check this out on the Gov Gateway website as it really is scary how vulnerable you are without an income and more importantly a good NI record.

Women who went to uni may still need to work until they are 60 to get their full stamp and full pension. 35 years of contributions is HUGE

Confused on this one? Up until two years ago I had been working since I was 16, never out of a job? I have NI number and have been contributing since working age, and intend to do so again in the future.

I will absolutely look into this as I have no prior knowledge about it, so prehaps you have drawn my attention (and possibly others, to this?)

Does that mean SAHMs are doomed for life after brexit? That a whole new can of worms from me wondering where to take my future life.

[user1471462115]

I think you have to have contributed for ten years to be able to claim even a small proportion of your state pension. To get it all you need 36;or 34 years full contributions.
To claim things like job seekers and universal credit you need to have contributed in the last three years.
And I think there is some scheme about recent contributions and accessing health care. I am not sure about this but do recall reading something about this to stop people coming here on holiday and sudden,y needing expensive health care.
Getting child benefit gives you contributions, but it has to be for your own child not a step child.

Everyone needs a job, as it gives independence for the whole of your life, working, too poorly to work and retired.

[Catsick36]

How about training to work with children. A nanny or childminder something like that.

[BogRollBOGOF]

I'm a SAHM. DS1 has additional needs and doesn't cope with childcare. Teaching jobs 9:30 to 2:30 aren't exactly plentiful!

I did Girl Guiding anyway and have been helping with Scouting since DS1 was a beaver and they were short, one is back and the other isn't. Normally I'd help out in the DCs' school 2 or 3 times a week. I also volunteer at junior parkrun. Normally I feel quite purposeful and it is better now the DCs are in school and there are routines again. This year has been hard though as from March until a couple of weeks ago all that was stripped away without much in the way of practical options for the short term to long term as the situation evolves.

I'm also happy to have a half marathon to train up for at last.

I'd often have some kind of DIY project on but between having finished a major one alongside another fiddly one late last year and both DH and a being stuck around the house the makority of the time with little escape, now is not a good time to be causing upheaval.

[Sciencebabe]

Search the NHS website for bank work in your area. You can pick your hours then.