Who do you talk to?

[MooPointCowsOpinion]

I really need to talk to someone, sort through my thoughts, make a big decision.
I’ve realised that I present a certain face to people and it means I can’t truly be vulnerable with anyone. At all.
Who is your person to talk through the heavy things that weigh on your mind? If you have no one, how do you cope? I’m thinking about pro/con lists, therapists, and ringing up old friends I haven’t seen in years and asking them for their time. I have some really good friends, I just can’t talk about this with them, it’s too hard.

Umm depends, i guess i have people for different things. If its more vulnerable stuff i have a friend who has similiar problems so understands or if more about stuff i keep fixating on, a counseller but also i have used mumsnet (and hoped people are kind). Ill listen if u like ( will be kind)

I don’t have anyone, I’ve noticed quite a few people unburden themselves to me but if I have troubles they seem to be too busy. It’s upsetting me quite a bit at the moment

My husband and my therapist.

My eldest sister. We have the same values, are very similar in personality and are very close.

Or I do pros and cons for less emotive stuff.

Nobody, I deal with it myself.

There’s only two people I would go to, my sister (I have other siblings but she’s the only one I feel I could offload on and she would be able to give calm, reasoned advice) and my husband. If it was something I couldn’t share with them (for example if it involved them) then probably no one.

No one, I never have done.

I don’t have any close friends and my husband and me aren’t even on the same book, let alone the same page. If I try to talk to him I get nowhere, he doesn’t understand.

It’s quite lonely and I fuck up a lot in life as I’ve got no one to speak to about anything.

And I just have to deal with everything myself. I “talk” myself through tough times in my own head. It sounds quite mad to write it down.

Nobody. I deal with things on my own. For me it's easier,I find it very difficult to offload onto someone else,they're MY problems or worries.

I don't have anyone.

My husband and my therapist

Ditto.

The dog but he gives useless advice though.

I was disheartened when I had no responses after a few hours but I am so glad to come back and see some in the same boat and some not. My dog also gives terrible advice!
Last week I was frantically worried and anxious, this week I seem to have slipped into desperately sad and seeing no way out.
But I did mention to a friend I thought I needed to chat and gave her an idea of the situation, and she poured out her own similar story and it made me think we just don’t have to keep secrets from people. Honesty is best!

I'm a talker. My mum, my sister, my in-laws, any of my friends. All good people who will listen, understand and hash things out with me.

I think you need to cultivate that type of relationship though.

@HaudMaDug

The dog but he gives useless advice though.

perhaps you're not interpreting his doggy language!

@MooPointCowsOpinion I know what you mean about not liking to unburden yourself. You could try it though, or Samaritans, or seek a more structured format like a counsellor. Depends what suits you.

Writing it out first sounds like a good idea

Often my dad, my sisters, and there are a couple of close friends

Also I use a journal for big decisions, let myself write about it a few times and see where my mind is going...

A couple of close friends for family/emotional stuff and my husband for business/career decisions. I do this because I’ve hurt him in the past by sharing emotional/ relationship worries ( or got him really worried as well!) so it’s better to speak to a more neutral friend who won’t take it personally.
I reciprocate with the same friends.

My MIL.

Trust her judgement impeccably and know that she always has my best interests at heart.

A journal is great idea. Think I might try that myself.

I have carefully collected people over the course of many years.
I am fussy.
These people are few.
4 to be precise.
I can completely count on them to be there, to listen, to trust absolutely and completely.
Mostly though I completely respect their wisdom.
They are wise wise women.
My friendship is 30 years plus.

I’m right there for them too. Always.
I am extremely lucky.

My husband or sometimes, I take the dog out and talk to myself as though I were giving advice to a very good friend.

Sorry OP, you asked a question.

I'm lucky in that I have a friend I can call any time of day or night. I know his sleep patterns and that he'd wake up when I call and fall back asleep easily, and he wants me to call. Tells me to!

Aside from that really lovely friend who is very busy, we have a set time when I want to call her but I do get wary about disturbing her.

And I have a counsellor but it fell a bit flat this week as I could barely speak and felt exhausted (chest bug or whatever) but I'd like her for a year and it's going to take time to get used to each other.

I don't have anyone, my mum is 81 & I don't like to burden her, I lost my partner who I could talk to about anything 5 years ago.

@Nat6999

I don't have anyone, my mum is 81 & I don't like to burden her, I lost my partner who I could talk to about anything 5 years ago.

Oh Nat, remember you.