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Original poster

Do you chat with your manager outside of work hours?

33 replies

Psychicwanderer · 19/09/2020 21:45

I was speaking to a friend about the kind of relationship that I have with my manager and she thinks that it's weird. I'm not so sure. It's primarily because he'll message me most days outside of work hours about any old thing. What he's having for dinner or comments/pictures relating to the weather for example.

The messages have never been inappropriate in any way. Is it odd to regularly chat with your manager about non-work things in the evenings/weekends?

OP posts:
polkadotpixie · 19/09/2020 21:46

I talk to mine sometimes, maybe once a week or so. She's a nice person and I like her so why not

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 19/09/2020 21:51

No. I live in Denmark and the social boundaries are crystal clear. You are expected to be nice enough to your colleagues but there is an expectation that you get your emotional needs met in your private life. People at work are colleagues not personal contacts.

LittleMissEngineer · 19/09/2020 22:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

EasilyDeleted · 19/09/2020 22:19

No, other than the occasional comment in our group chat.

Flamingolingo · 19/09/2020 22:23

Not really. We get on well but his wife hates me for some reason (all work for the same organisation so I know her in passing). So I would only ever contact him outside business hours in an emergency. Though occasionally I might email some work through in the evening but not expecting him to look before morning.

CoffeeRunner · 19/09/2020 22:24

No. We are friends on FB as our workplace has a very useful private FB group for essential info (it’s a 24/7/365 workplace so you can go weeks without seeing a specific person depending on shifts). We sometimes interact on that but no, no texting or messaging otherwise.

Harrykanesrightsock · 19/09/2020 22:25

I don’t but the majority of the team fawn over her with lavish gifts for birthdays and Christmas and endless likes on face book. I don’t. My work is done to a high standard and really don’t want to be involved in her private life or her in mine.

ilovepixie · 19/09/2020 22:27

I don't even talk to my manager in work hours lol

CherryPavlova · 19/09/2020 22:30

Sometimes but more often I talk to members of my team. They call me for various things - babysitting crisis, getting stains out of shirts etc. Sometimes send each other pictures of children/grandchildren. Today one has dropped her child to university and was bereft so called for reassurance all would feel better next week.
We sometimes do virtual drinks after work.

Coffeesnob11 · 19/09/2020 22:33

We do sometimes on the group whatsapp sometimes individually. We have known each other for 15 years. My other colleague messages exchanges messages about the same amount. In the week we dont really switch off work.

Planetaryexplorer · 19/09/2020 22:38

Regularly message her. We get on very well.

Ginger1982 · 19/09/2020 22:38

That's weird. Are you both single or attached?

orangejuicer · 19/09/2020 22:40

Yep, if the occasion warrants it.

BackforGood · 19/09/2020 22:44

Occasionally, but only if there is somethig going on in one of our lives that the other wants to show some support over. We are a smallish team and we all get on. She has been incredibly supportive to me over the last few weeks when my family have had a lot of bad news.

Daily chats over what you are having for dinner is a bit weird IMO. As a manager, you can be pleasant, and friendly to a degree, but there is also a professional distant that ought to be maintained wherever possible. Daft messages that you might share with your dp or dc are not really appropriate from your manager.

Slightly different since March, when we have all had a WhatsApp group for none work stuff to have a laugh now and then - but that is a whole team group and we can go for a couple of weeks between posts sometimes.

NoShitHemlock · 19/09/2020 23:11

I am the manager in this case. I work in a very close knit team (before Covid-19 there were lunches out/drinks after work), and feel really fortunate to be the manager for a great bloke. We usually text with recommendations about what to watch on Netflix and other rubbish. Both single but neither of us interested in the other.

Shizzlestix · 19/09/2020 23:15

My previous one, yes, we were friendly and there was mutual respect and we liked each other. We still message each other. My current one, not any more! I made it clear that I didn’t want multiple work related emails to my personal email one day, they pop up on my screen. She stopped. We have been distant friends for years. I am not enjoying working for her.

Original poster
Psychicwanderer · 20/09/2020 01:18

Interesting to hear that my situation is fairly unusual. We are both single but I doubt he's interested in me

OP posts:
onetwothreeadventure · 20/09/2020 01:35

Never. I don’t think about work when I’m not working so I don’t have any reason to text. i actually just realised I’ve never even met them in person (we’re based in different countries)!

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 20/09/2020 01:37

She will send me work related emails at odd times outside of work (midnight the latest, 5.30 am the earliest) but not usually about non work stuff, no.

amiw · 20/09/2020 01:37

Yes with my md- but then we do live together.

doopdeepduup · 20/09/2020 01:41

All the time. We also meet up to go swimming most days too. We get in very well, but we say hi in the morning, swim and chat about personal stuff and then in the workplace we say good morning again and get on with our days.

We have a lot in common and I have been good friends with her husband for over twenty years.

It also took them ten years to convince me to work for them, as I was worried about blurring the boundaries. But 18 months in, it's been really great!

WorkFun · 20/09/2020 01:48

.

WorkFun · 20/09/2020 01:48

I started a relationship with mine.

Was difficult at work at times.

I left after 4 years the relationship lasted 10 years in total

NancyBotwinBloom · 20/09/2020 01:55

We send memes to each other daily but we never chat.

Literally we just forward funny stuff to each other.

icode · 20/09/2020 02:01

I did. 24 years working together. She died in June and I miss her terribly.