Cat is making me miserable and want to leave home.

[Libertyfree]

Recently got a cat as DC wanted one for a long time. I suffer from OCD and thought I’d manage but it’s brought on a full blown attack. Feel like everything is contaminated in the house, can’t relax, constantly cleaning. Cat is a sweet thing and I’d be sad to have to give it away. But I feel so miserable and tearful the whole time. Hardly concentrated on any work (at home).
I’ve had OCD since my early 20s and had intensive CBT that helped me get a “normal” life. Since then there have been couple of flare ups but nothing like this. Really don’t know what to do.

Didn't want to read and run, hope someone with experience will be along soon to offer help. I am sure wiser mn's will have loads of support.

That’s really tough OP. I have OCD but luckily never about my pets. It sounds like you may need refresher CBT? There’s no shame in that. I would try and view keeping the cat as not letting your OCD ‘win’ but know it must be really hard for you.

Hi love x
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I am a long time ocd sufferer and I've also had cbt but I found it didn't work for me as it didn't address my underlying issues. I've since had counselling and then intensive psychiatric help (all NHS) which finally sorted me out. I was also on citalopram for 4 and years which took a lot of the "traffic" from my brain.
I had a flare up after my son was born but I'm back on track now.
I would recommend getting on touch with your gp and see if you can get some additional help. Your ocd is flaring up and affecting your life in a bad way if you're thinking of either giving up your pet or leaving home, but there is further help available. Mine was horrific, couldn't leave the house before completing hours of routines and sleepless nights arranging the house BAD but I'm so so much better now. Take this opportunity to address your ocd and get your life back.
I hope this helps? I really understand what you're going through, I've been there myself and it is like living in your own little horror movie which no one else can see, and it's incredibly lonely. Sending love xx

Thanks everyone. Even reading your messages made me cry,
I agree that I shouldn’t let OCD “win”.
It was such hard work getting to where I am now. Not sure I can do it again.

Go back to CBT.
It must be incredibly hard, but remember you won't feel like this forever.

I don’t like to admit this
But 23 years ago my eldest was a baby ,and we had 2 cats .
They were semi wild ,but loved.
I had my baby on the floor under a baby gym ,they walked across it ,they walked on the surfaces in kitchen .one weed up the wall.
I could cope ,I thought I was going mad with the stress ,trying to clean everywhere they had walked .
I didn’t know there was a name for it, at the time
But it was confusing as I loved them so much ,but I would follow them around cleaning where they had walked.
Then I stopped letting them go out ,as I thought they were bringing germs back in .
Eventually my dh just took them to the blue cross and they took them in.
Since then I have never had a cat as I can’t control where it goes ,but I have dogs ,and I manage by not having carpet ,and restricting them to areas I can keep clean .
So I do sympathise op ,I know how awful it feels x

Couldn’t cope
Sorry ,not could

It’s so heartbreaking. I don’t know why I thought I’d be ok.

I think you probably do need to rehome puss Op
I know it’s sad ,but mental health must come first .
Is there a relative or a friend that could have puss for you ,so she could stay in your life

Its not worth living a miserable life for the sake of a cat, as lovely as they are its just a cat and it'll be just as happy in another home. I know how frustrating it is to live a life within limits out of your control, I've got a chronic illness too. I've come to accept that thats just how life is for me and instead of pushing myself out of ny comfort zone (which I tried to do for many years) ive learned to live my life within the boundaries that I can cope with. I'm much happier and content now and I've let go of all the anger and bitterness that I used to feel when I couldn't do something. Well done for trying though.

Its not fair on the cat; get it rehomed before it gets too settled (its probably picking up on your stress anyway).

And then see if you can get a referral for a follow up.

Speckledhen you are so right, I've had/got OCD and I've spent years trying to push myself out of my comfort zone but it doesn't work. It's so much healthier to accept my limitations. I'm heartbroken I couldn't ever give my children the love of a pet but I know I would never be comfortable with one in my house. OP, you were brave, you tried it but it didn't work out and that's ok.

Your mental health is more important than anything else. Tough for the kids if the cat goes.
Maybe seek more CBT help if you feel you need to. No family 'needs' a cat. But they do need a happy mummy. Put yourself first X

Can you take it back to where you got her from?. Please don’t give it away free on fb, dog fighting gangs use free pets as bait for training dogs.

Oh thank you all for your replies. I just feel so torn. Feel like I should get myself CBT and manage to live with the cat. But on the other hand the thought of years of living with the constant stress.....
In the short time I have come to love the cat and I’ll be heartbroken too. What a mess. Wish I’d stuck to saying no. Really can’t decide what to do.

If you do have to rehome the cat, please use a cat rescue charity. They'll make sure your cat goes to a loving home. There are regional/local rescues as well as the big names everyone knows.

I will say 'new pet panic' is common, however well-prepared you are and however much you love your pet. This passes off in a few weeks for most people as the pet gradually becomes just another family member so it isn't any more scary in terms of (e.g.) illness, toileting, than the humans in your household.

Are you on medication for your OCD? I find mine much better on sertraline.

Sorry to hear that you are so worried. I don’t have OCD so no personal experience but as a cat owner I would say feel free to re-home the cat in an instant, and don’t feel bad! They do leave a mess, hairs everywhere, can’t stop them climbing, walking around on tables etc. Honestly, I’ve thought twice about having them and I love them! I’m concerned that you might be making yourself feel worse by viewing it as some kind of failure re your OCD but cats aren’t for everyone, OCD or not. Good luck and whatever you choose, please be kind to yourself about your decision xx

The OP wouldn’t be a failure to rehome the cat, but it’s also not what would be recommended in CBT. No psychiatrist/ psychologist I have ever had treatment from has agreed that I should go along with my fears of contamination. The therapy focuses on proving that the fears are irrational and the contamination fears the sufferer has are not actually a risk.

I haven’t got ocd luckily but yes I had new pet panic too. He wasn’t going to be allowed upstairs or on the bed but then he was & it didn’t seem grubby then.

I’m a hcp too so it’s not like I don’t understand cleanliness.

CausingChaos2 - yes you are right. That is the therapy. Not to avoid the thing that scares you. But who in their right mind would bring something into the house that scares you?
I’m not on medication and don’t want to go on it.

What’s the OCD telling you could happen?.

That I’d get toxoplasmosis and go blind.

A lot of adults have unknowingly been exposed to that and have antibodies.

I have ocd too op.

How many days has the cat been with you now? Think of all the days that have passed and you haven't caught toxoplasmosis, all the other pet owners that haven't caught it.
I'd let it touch things in the house gradually and over time. Can you keep it to one area of the house for now?
Talk to yourself about medical treatment too, how very unlikely it would be to ever get to that stage. And do not google toxoplasmosis, you know the internet is a load of shit.

And for what it's worth, I've worked with people in their homes who have many cats and don't keep clean homes at all. Not even a hint of toxoplasmosis.