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Original poster

Neighbour telling me the workman said I was lovely.

38 replies

Oooahhhjustalilbit · 17/09/2020 12:42

Neighbour is having some work done to her garden. I presume it's a team of landscape gardeners. I leave my house. One particular Chap says good morning and asks how I am. My son's taken an interest in his truck so I have to stop and let him have a peek.
I was coming back home this morning with my son and I said hello are you ok to my neighbour. The bloke joined in and made a comment on my son. Just small talk. Nothing big. I get back in my house and get a message from the neighbour saying the workmen was saying how lovely you are.

I live here with my partner and kids. This blokes probably around my age to five years older.

Not sure why she messaged me. Not sure why he said that to her. Not sure if I am being perved on or if he was just being nice. Which is really weird as I've literally said hello you alright and he has spoke to my lad (2 sentences)

Need to go out again in abit but feel abit awks

Am I being silly? Didn't know if I've given him the wrong impression. Wasn't my intention.

What does it means when someone informs your neighbour you are lovely and she passes it on.

OP posts:
queenofthemadhouseyouknow · 17/09/2020 12:42

I think you need to unclench. Seriously.

doodlejump1980 · 17/09/2020 12:43

Just message back saying “yeah, my partner thinks so too!”

Sirzy · 17/09/2020 12:44

Massively overthinking! Sounds like he mentioned he had met you and had a chat while you son looked at the machines.

JingsMahBucket · 17/09/2020 12:46

I think you’re being a bit silly. It’s fine to have interactions with other men besides your partner. It doesn’t mean the other man is perving on you but only that he thinks you’re lovely. That’s okay. Your neighbour possibly even told him that you have a partner anyway. He just thinks you’re pretty and probably thinks your boy is cute. There’s no harm in that for now. :)

nettytree · 17/09/2020 12:48

Probably commenting to your neighbour that it was nice they had friendly people next door. It's a complement.

DrWAnker · 17/09/2020 12:50

I think if your neighbour sending you a text like that has such an effect perhaps stop speaking to strange men? Wink

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 17/09/2020 12:52

He was probably just being polite........but your neighbour sounds like she's fishing for gossip.

I doubt he's falling to his knees at the mere thought of your beauty and charm.

TW2013 · 17/09/2020 12:52

I imagine it is because often neighbours can get quite frustrated with building work and workmen so maybe in comparison you are lovely.

Changemyname901 · 17/09/2020 12:53

My DH calls other people lovely all the time, he doesn’t fancy them, he just thinks they’re good people?! It’s okay for someone else to find you lovely, it doesn’t mean they’re sexually attracted to you, just that they think you’re a nice person. Your neighbour passed it on because who doesn’t want to hear a compliment? Say thanks and leave it.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 17/09/2020 12:54

You're being silly OP 😁

My neighbours are having work done. Their builder is lovely - friendly, helpful, tries his hardest to cause minimum disruption to us, that kind of thing.

I have absolutely no interest in him sexually whatsoever 🤷🏼‍♀️

I guess if you're incredibly hot and irresistible then it might be different...

DeliaOwens · 17/09/2020 12:54

I think you are being silly yes and slightly overthinking things. Just say thanks, DP/DH thinks I'm the bee's knees :-)

edwinbear · 17/09/2020 12:56

Massively over thinking this OP. My spin instructor is lovely, so is DC's games teacher, and the chap in the local shop. It doesn't mean I want to shag them.

ThePlantsitter · 17/09/2020 12:57

I'd just reply 'what an excellent judge of character' and think nothing more of it (well, I might, but I would behave as if I didn't). You are allowed to exist and be lovely! Nobody has done anything wrong here - unless your neighbour is a wind-up merchant but those are easily ignored.

Purglewurgle · 17/09/2020 12:57

In a world where people are suffering hugely from MH problems and general misery (thanks 2020!)

Maybe your neighbour just thought she’s share the compliment to make your day?

Better than being called a stuck up cow Hmm

You sound so uptight @Oooahhhjustalilbit

iMatter · 17/09/2020 13:03

Lovely means nice, friendly etc. It doesn't mean he fancies you.

I call my friends "lovely" as a term of endearment. I don't fancy them.

Longtalljosie · 17/09/2020 13:05

I take it we mean looks-wise lovely? I would relax. He hasn’t said anything to you, and your neighbour probably thought you’d be flattered. You should be flattered! It’s not pervy to remark to a third party that someone is beautiful. Just reply with an exclamation mark and live your life...

AlwaysLatte · 17/09/2020 13:05

He might have meant lovely as in personality and not at all interested in you. Overthinking muchly (and so much nicer than hearing you are 'awful'!)

Longtalljosie · 17/09/2020 13:05

Oh just re-read. He does just mean a nice person. Reply saying “that’s nice” or something

Dyrne · 17/09/2020 13:12

I’m having a lot of work done and our builders have been lovely to the neighbours - as PP has said, we’re acutely aware of the fact that we’re causing disruption to them and we want to keep on their good side, and tradesmen being nice to neighbours is part of that.

Maybe your neighbour was fishing for a response along the lines of “oh all your landscapers have been lovely, and we appreciate them being so considerate etc etc”.

thedevilinablackdress · 17/09/2020 13:15

Really, we've no idea if this means "What a pleasant lady your neighbour is" or if it's "Cor, your neighbour is HOT"

rosecakequeen · 17/09/2020 13:16

Sounds more like your neighbour trying to stir things up. I'd just carry on as normal, better to be called lovely than rude. I'm sure the gardener will be able to restrain himself if he sees you again.

Gatelodge · 17/09/2020 13:21

Or your neighbour is the type who thinks being wolfwhistled by builders is a compliment and thinks your self-esteem will be buoyed up by being informed that a landscape gardener thought you were 'lovely', making you leap about the place in soft-focus happiness like the 'after' part of an ad for Rennies?

I don't know, passing on an innocuous remark from a workman is a really odd thing for her to do. I would be very surprised if a jobbing gardener 'perved on' you to the person who's paying him.

BronwenFrideswide · 17/09/2020 13:24

I've always laughingly dismissed the idea that no-one dare say anything to anyone anymore for fear of a completely unwarranted reaction and then along comes this OP and I understand what they are getting at.

Seriously, OP, someone said something nice about you and your neighbour thought it would be nice to pass it on to you and this is how you view it? Silly doesn't cover it.

HappyDinosaur · 17/09/2020 13:26

How kind of him to say so. Nothing more to see here!

Spied · 17/09/2020 13:28

Your neighbour sounds like they're in need of a bit of drama and are fantasising about an affair on their doorstep they can meddle in and gossip about. Also a good chance she doesn't like your DH or she likes him too muchGrin