If you agonized over having a third child, what did you decide in the end?

[ConfusedPanda]

And are you happy with the decision or do you have regrets?

I have two wonderful DC aged 4 and 1. If we had a third child I'd be 36/37ish probably as I would want an age gap of around 2 or 2.5 years. We keep going round in circles and can't decide whether to go for it or not!

We always wanted a third child but it was a matter of when as dd2 was a difficult child so I needed a break before I could do the whole baby thing again. They have a 51/2 year difference. 36 is not too old to have a third.

Decided yes, when I was about to turn 40. I’m now typing this trapped under three week old DD, who is bloody wonderful and the easiest baby I’ve had.

My other children are 17 and 7, I like bigger age gaps (and I’m crap at being pregnant), and they all adore each other.

I wouldn’t do that pregnancy again though - being fat and old this time has made it all much harder (or the c section recovery, it’s my 3rd and I still can’t stand up or walk without crying), but I’m glad she’s here.

We had to decide this recently as we have two lovely daughters but we’ve also had a frozen embryo in storage for the past 7 years.
I have very difficult pregnancies and quite bad PPD. It has taken me the best part of 3 years to recover from my second child. We decided that we simply couldn’t manage a third pregnancy and child, and that it might be detrimental to the other two kids to have me basically out of action for at least 18 months to 2 years.

I agonized over number 3, and decided to try rather than regret it. I had her at 44, she's a delightful little girl and whilst the first year was hard, I don't regret it for a second.

Thank you for sharing! Interested to hear more stories...

We stopped at 2 and I'm actually relieved we did as now dc are teens theyr'e SO expensive and we would have really struggled.

We went for number 3. Best decision for us. I would have been agonising over it until menopause otherwise!

We wanted a 3rd, I fell ill from a pregnancy-related illness and dd had to be delivered by EMCS 6 weeks early and I was in hospital for 2 months during covid lockdown...but wouldn't change her for the world! She is just the best decision we made and her siblings adore her.

I didn't agonise but I would have liked a third.
My OH was absolutely against a third, so naturally his view had to win out.

Now years down the line I am glad we stopped at two.
Teenagers are very expensive- University costs, driving lessons, dance classes,family holidays.
Not having three kids was the right thing to do for me.

I have an 8 Yr old and a 9 months old. I wasn't planning on anymore but then lock down happened and I saw how isolated my eldest was and it hammered home how in a few yrs my youngest would feel like an only child as his brother be off being a teenager.
So we decided to have another, there will be a 17 month gap all going well. I'm quite happy and feel we made the right decision.

I stopped at 2 and don't regret it. Now they are 9 and 12 and I have way more freedom, just another couple of years for the younger one and they won't need much day time supervision etc...

We stopped at two, but that was due to DS2 being a really difficult baby, couldn’t go through that again. Pleased we stuck at two, it was right for our family. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, completely unexpectedly when youngest child was 7, so pleased we didn’t have more, as fatigue is one of my worst symptoms.

I agree with PP, kids get much more expensive as they grow.

If you feel your family isn’t complete, go for it OP, life is too short for regrets. Wishing you all the very best for any decision you make.

We (well dh) really decided that we'd stop at 2. Tbh I found that hard for a number of years and will probably always have some regrets (and maybe even a little resentment) but it got easier to accept and - now our two are expensive teens- I can see how stretched having 3 would have made us, financially, emotionally and practically.

And yes - university costs, so high (I don't mean tuition fees but the parental contribution towards living costs). 3 would have made that incredibly difficult for us.

We thought about it but decided not to. Ours are late teens now, so glad we have two - university contributions, driving lessons etc. all so expensive. Our dc have weekend jobs but it still costs loads to do the things we like doing.

I would also have struggled to offer emotional support to more than two teens!

Watching... as in similar situation

I spent years reading these sorts of threads and the majority of people were happy with their decision. We went for it, had a third when I was 36. It’s been really hard. Harder than I expected. Balancing all their needs is impossible. In real life I jokingly tell people thinking of a third not to do it. I’m not joking though.

We are only a few years into this though and family lasts all your life so I’m hoping it won’t be like this in the future.

We had DS3 when our older 2 were 6 & 4. DH was on the fence but I just did my feel done so we went for it. I don't regret it, as he is amazing and we adore him. However, he is the child who has pushed us to the limits the most and it does mean we can't do some of the things we'd like to do because of the age gap. It actually took us a long time to conceive DS3 and I had actually just made my peace with sticking at 2 when I found out I was pregnant. I think because of that there have definitely been times when I've had pangs of "oh, if we'd stuck at 2 we could do x, y and z". The world is built for families of 4 so the practicalities do have to be considered. Cars, holidays etc all cost more. More time spent trying to get kids to activities, the logistics when those activities clash, it's never ending. Oh and then we went on to have DS4 (not planned ) so that's introduced a whole new level of complication!

We were very undecided, but eventually took the plunge, and our third baby turned out to be twins. We had four children under five. Absolutely no regrets though, they have been an absolute joy, and the twins are now off to uni!

I always wanted 3 and DH as well. Our second was extremely challenging though and DH changed his mind. He listed all the practical reasons to get me on board, like space in the house, car, travel costs (most of our families are overseas and we are constantly flying all over the place to visit everyone), easier for my mum to babysit, etc.
I mean, they were all valid reasons, but it took me a while to come to terms with it. DH got the snip when our second was 1year old and i think that really helped me get closure.
Kids are 4.5 and 6 now and im really glad we stopped at 2. Everything just came together and runs smoothly.
If we did have a 3rd it might have been great too, but i dont really wonder anymore.
I also dont want another anymore now, i could never imagine starting all over again.

I’m the third of three and I have three children.

There was never any doubt I’d have three and I’m glad I did.

To me the only downsides are:

• children are money drains and get worse the older they get so x 3 I really miss the money.
• less time for a social life as always looking after/ feeding/ ferrying around children

Had my mother not had me she would have no grandkids as my siblings don’t want children.

We've got two (aged 9 and 4). I'd like a third but DH says no...so there won't be a third. I suppose financially it makes sense but I'm still disappointed he wouldn't even consider it.

I am the 3rd of 3. Elder two siblings were very close in age and I was after a bigger gap (5yrs, so not massive). The middle child very much resented and still resents my existence, my mum always seemed to feel guilty for having had me. It has really affected me and my mental health. Just a pitfall to be aware of.

Stuck with 2, very happy with my decision. They're 13 and 10 and I love them to bits, but also my job and the rest of my life!

Have your third. I wanted 3, DH didn't so he won. My marriage ended any way when I was 45 so it's too late for me now, but I regret not pushing harder every day. The feeling of missing someone just doesn't go away.