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Original poster

secretative about phone number?

29 replies

Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 11:50

NC for this...
Ive noticed a change in my DP recently, we have a shared phone contract (both our phones on the same contract, so i can actually see who he texts/rings, this was his idea when we got together, not mine, and i didn't actaully realise until recently this meant we could see who we are contacting)
Last night he was texting a number until late.. i asked him who it was this morning - in the context of his mentioned his mother and said I assume that's who you were messaging until late, he said no, and blamed a mutual friend.

I know this isn't mutual friends number.

Ive saved the number that hes been texting on my phone but obviously cannot text or ring it without it appearing on my phone bill. Whats app doesn't show a picture or any additional information..

I know people will be along to say "dont trust him, dont be with him..." etc, but financially we are in big trouble, and im trying to get my ducks in a row and make plans. Its hard but if I find something concrete (ie. He lying about messaging a woman, or him making his break to go) i want to forward plan to look after myself and DC. One step ahead so to speak...

How do i find out who the number belongs to? If i cannot call or text it myself? I've tried searching the number?

My spidy senses are tingling....

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 11:51

apologies if this is on the wrong board..

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 15/09/2020 11:52

Give someone else the number and ask them to phone it.

AriettyHomily · 15/09/2020 11:52

I find it a bit creepy that you have linked contracts.

If you know the number, call it?

BritInAus · 15/09/2020 11:54

Withhold your number and call it? You can always hang up once someone answers... you’ll at least (hopefully) be able to ascertain if they are male / female... it if goes to voicemail you may hear their name...

Original poster
Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 11:56

@AriettyHomily

I find it a bit creepy that you have linked contracts.

If you know the number, call it?

I do too. I was very naive when we got together, he said he was getting us a great phone deal, it was only a year or so down the line I realised it meant that he could see exactly who I was ringing or texting, thing is, it works both ways, doesn't it.

And today I felt something isn't right, and checked, now I dont know what to do with it (I actaully feel sick)

I've only been on MN for 6 months or so, but in that time I've learned so much about personal safety, red flags. I wish i had found it much earlier.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 11:57

@BritInAus

Withhold your number and call it? You can always hang up once someone answers... you’ll at least (hopefully) be able to ascertain if they are male / female... it if goes to voicemail you may hear their name...
Problem is DP will see ive called the number if he checks my phone bill.
OP posts:
SilverYellow · 15/09/2020 11:57

I wouldn't call the number now (after you spoke about the number last night).

I'd wait a few weeks and then call...

FatCatThinCat · 15/09/2020 12:00

Get a friend to ring the number for you.

Original poster
Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 12:01

@SilverYellow

I wouldn't call the number now (after you spoke about the number last night).

I'd wait a few weeks and then call...

Thank you, this is likely the advice I need, as I am going into panic mode. He has had form previously for being in contact with an ex over email, I innocently stumbled on, and I had the same feelings afterward, unfortunately I was naive and didnt know what I know about relationships now (thanks again mumsnet) and he convinced me to stay. Now my spidy senses are tingling again, and im trying not to panic and jump into saying or doing something extreme, I know i need to be clever...
OP posts:
FelicityPike · 15/09/2020 12:02

Google it?
PM me and I’ll phone it!

Original poster
Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 12:03

@FatCatThinCat

Get a friend to ring the number for you.
I have sort of asked a friend if there's any way she could help, I dont have many friends to ask IRL and tbh, im embarrassed.... and don't want my relationship to be used as gossip ..
OP posts:
Desperadododo · 15/09/2020 12:05

Add it to WhatsApp see if there’s a picture

ExclamationPerfume · 15/09/2020 12:06

Type it in to Facebook see if anything comes up.

MrsFoggy · 15/09/2020 12:06

@FelicityPike

I was just about to offer this too Grin

I'd happily ring

ChangedMyNameYetAgain · 15/09/2020 12:46

Would anyone like to phone my XP and ask him why he beat me up?

MadeForThis · 15/09/2020 12:58

If you save the number to WhatsApp there might be a profile picture. See if you recognise it.

Or search the number in Facebook

HerBigChance · 15/09/2020 13:13

Ring it from a phone box.

MarshmallowsOnToast · 15/09/2020 13:17

@Desperadododo

Add it to WhatsApp see if there’s a picture
In the OP it says..

"Whats app doesn't show a picture or any additional information.."

Original poster
Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 14:11

Added to whats app, no additional information, my friend has messaged but no reply, and no picture pops up.
Phone box is a good idea, if i can find one but alot of effort.
Hes sent a few more text messages to the number today despite being with me most of the day... i didnt know you could Facebook search the number.
I don't have social media but someone might. How do I search a number on Facebook?

I'm trying not to just blurt it out and ask him straight away....

OP posts:
ExclamationPerfume · 15/09/2020 15:39

PM me the number if you want to. I can check on Facebook.

Lollyneenah · 15/09/2020 16:04

Do you know his phone pin? Or is it a fancy thumb print one?

Original poster
Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 16:07

@Lollyneenah

Do you know his phone pin? Or is it a fancy thumb print one?
I do actually know the pin (unless he's changed it) getting hold of the phone is totally different matter however, he has it glued to him 24/7. Even at nighttime he uses it to listen to the radio.
OP posts:
SBTLove · 15/09/2020 16:07

@AriettyHomily
Hardly creepy, my DP and I have phones on the same contract, it was cheaper to add an additional phone on when I needed a new one, teenager is on it to, never have checked calls though.

Lollyneenah · 15/09/2020 16:56

I would probably get him blackout drunk and get that phone haha!

Original poster
Bluepony2 · 15/09/2020 17:16

@Lollyneenah

I would probably get him blackout drunk and get that phone haha!
The light tone of this did make me laugh..

I wish i could, hes ex forces, he can drink like a fish. I would black out way before him!!

OP posts: