Paying board to my parents

[samjamsam]

How much should I offer to pay a month.

I will start a new job on about 35k. DSis earns about 70k. Should we pay the same?

Parents mortgage all paid off so no housing costs, just bills.

Given your family situation sounds comfortable I'd say 300pm

Food will be about 220-240 and 60-80 for bills

My lodgers pay around 400 a month then their food on top so I think about that is fair. In 1981 I gave my my Mum 50 a month which was a quarter of my wages.

We are temporarily living with the in laws while our house is done. We're paying half the shopping bill. Husband has offered to contribute to the other bills as we are a family of four. So far, his parents have declined but the offer is still there.

I'm a SAHM so when the kids are both at school / nursery I do as much of the housework as I can for MiL.

@CuriousaboutSamphire

It's my job as her parent to help her get on as an adult, not to make it harder for her. Which is nice, if you can afford it.

As ever these threads are one of those moments where checking your privilege is a good idea!

There is no privilege here, believe me. I just want my DD to have a better chance than I did. I put my DC before myself and that includes financially. Yesterday I got paid carers allowance and we don't get another penny until Monday when DH PIP goes in. I currently have £153.67 in the bank. Not at all privileged.

It's not just people who have money who like to help their D.C. get on in life. I actually resent the assumption that I am in any way sitting pretty and judging people who don't help their D.C. I just responded to a comment about teaching them to pay their way. I know some people can't afford it and I know some people can but still take the money. Lots of people are really hostile towards their adult children and lots of people are not. Me? I just want to help mine, even if it is at my expense.

It's completely different to school children or university students with part time jobs though SnowsInWater as the sisters in the OP are both earning higher than the national average wage. As they're young and saving for deposits and the parents are apparently mortgage free it's very normal not to charge rent, but equally a bit preposterous to think paying their proportional share of bills is unreasonable. They'll have a lot of money left to save. If their parents were still paying a mortgage it would be reasonable to charge single adult children without dependents rent when the children earn potentially more than the parents!

If someone is earning £70k why on earth aren't they buying their own home? ..
Ditto for £35k.

oakleaffy no deposit presumably, plus they won't get a mortgage if still on probation in shiny new jobs, which at their ages they may be. They can't have been on those salaries more than a year maximum. It does make sense to save hard for a year and if they can just pay bills they should be able to save a 10% deposit very fast and move out.

I pay 200 a month. But I do all the cooking and cleaning as my mum can't do it (dad does a bit). Goodness knows what they will do when I move out.

It doesn’t really matter what your sibling earns. You should each pay a quarter of the bills (assuming it’s 2 parents and 2 adult Working children). In the real world you don’t get cheaper bills just because you earn less.

I'd think around 300 a month each if that also covers food. I don't think your sister earning more is relevant - that's just the way of the world.

If someone is earning £70k why on earth aren't they buying their own home? ..
Ditto for £35k.

OP said they are both saving for a deposit.

why are you living at home? you should pay the going rate for the area, but preferably you should stop freeloading and get your own place like a grown up! if you're adult enough to earn that sort of salary you're adult enough to live independently and pay your way.

£35k at 22 and 70k at 24!

Took me two degrees, a doctorate and 15 years experience to surpass 70k.

BewilderedDoughnut I bet some of the 70k is commission or performance bonuses, there are no professional routes I can think of which would lead to 70k base salary by age 24. She may have earned 70k all in before tax last year but not actually be guaranteed (or able to get a mortgage based on) that salary. If that's the case hopefully she put everything above base salary straight into savings!

I earned 30k basic and a 20k bonus at age 22 more than 20 years ago, but it wasn't guaranteed and the job wasn't secure and wasn't really sustainable for me long term. I do something completely different - as secure as any job can be, less well paid, now.

There is no privilege here, believe me. But there is! You can resent the assumption that I am in any way sitting pretty and judging people who don't help their D.C. but , whilst you focus your judgement on those who can afford it and choose to charge their kids board, others respond to those who say they have no privilege whilst being able to afford to let their kids live at home for free.

You may not be 'sittng pretty' but if you don't need financial help from all adults in your home you are better off than many! That is the privileged position you are posting from! There's nothing wrong in that. There's nothing wrong with choosing to charge or not to charge. It's the judgmental bollocks that go with it that is invidious!

@CuriousaboutSamphire

I wasn't even being judgemental. I literally responded to someone who said you need to teach them to pay their way with my point that you can learn it at any age . Don't make it out to be a judgement on what anyone else does because I don't give a flying fuck.

Please, drop the 'privilege' crap with me. Save it for those who really are sitting in judgement. I was providing a fair and reasonable point in discussion and nothing else.

On 35k and living at home with you're parents in a decent position I would want you to pay a nominal amount towards food and bills and SAVE SAVE SAVE to get out and get your own place asap.

FFS your.

I think it would be fair to split bills, council tax, electricity ,water rates etc four ways and paying a quarter ( your share) and if you eat at home and share meals then 25% of food bill as well. ( Assuming there are 4 people in the house!)
But ultimately its up to your parents, talk to them

I think you should treat it as a house share. If the 4 of you live together, then you pay a quarter of the bills and food shop. You should all pay the same, regardless of how much you all get paid. Unless of course you're left with nothing.

Congratulations on your new job

You should pay what it costs to live - food, bills etc.

And you should do your fair share of housework, gardening, DIY etc. Consider it training when you have your own house.

Finally, be respectful and considerate of your parents feelings and space.

I am the older sibling.

I have earnt 21k since 22 and will only now increase my salary. I try to save £800 a month now, I am currently renting but moving home for the new job.

My food shop currently costs about £20 a week (Aldi!)
Maybe I should offer £200 a month for food and bills.

@samjamsam, can you enlighten us as to the field of work you've entered to be earning more than double the average wage? Just a vague idea?

OP What is the reason you started the thread? Do you know how much your sister contributes and you feel you should pay less?

I think £300 - £400 is reasonable unless you agreed to pay bills and get your own food