When I was 20, childish, hormonal and pregnant then my partner told me he had a staff meeting at work, he worked in a restaurant, what he had neglected to tell me however, was that after the staff meeting it had all been arranged that the staff would all go on to a nightclub, well he had left the house at 6pm and by 2am he still wasn’t home and I could feel my anger rising further and further up until I could no longer hold it in, I barged through to our room, ransacked his side of the wardrobe and took scissors to every piece of clothing he owned and ripped them, but with his work shirt I did something extra special to it, on the back of it, in black eyeliner, I wrote “HIS NAME LIKES DILDOS UP HIS ARSS”
bear in mind I was only 20, I then hung it up in the wardrobe and put it right at the front up against the inside door so that the writing was covered, I then got his precious PlayStation, opened the chipboard section and poured all of his Ted Baker wash into it, then closed it again, poured his shampoo deep into the toe section of his work shoes and I felt immediately satisfied...I then waited, at about back of 3am he came in quite drunk and fool of apologies about how the night out was “just put upon me and as it’s quite a new job then I felt I had no option but to go”, I was raging but I acted like I was annoyed, but not that much..we then went to bed to sleep...in the morning I played the dutiful girlfriend and woke up with him, I made him a strong cup of coffee for his hang over, got his clothes ready..’helped him into his shirt (he could barely focus and was shattered) and put his shampoo shoes into his bag as he wore trainers in and then changed into the work shoes at the restaurant..I then cheerily waved him off and cackled with glee as I thought about what was ahead...well about an hour later I got a really angry telephone call from him, he had taken his jacket off at work, hung it up in the staff room or wherever, and then he put his shoes on, thought “fuck what’s that wetness”, got called to come out to bar, he then walked out to bar and then he heard a few snorts of giggling from folks and then the boss thundered towards him with a big red face and asked him “for a word in the office” whilst holding onto his shoulders and standing right behind him all way to office, he was then asked “wtf is that crap written on your shirt”..he then got sent him to me and I had his bags packed ready and waiting on the doorstep whilst my front door was locked, he shouted a few “you ducking crazy bitch” comments through the letter box, went home, must have unoacked his stuff and saw that all his clothes were ripped to fuck!
The end