What time is your 13 year old Year 9 child going to bed?

[IvyLovesWales]

My DD age 13 has had no set bedtime over the whole of lockdown, I just went with the flow and she was usually settled by 11-11.30.

She's now back at school and is thinking she can still have this bedtime. She's an only child so I'm a bit lost on what is an acceptable time for a Year 9/13 year old to be going to bed on a school night and at the weekend.

I'm thinking asleep by 10pm weekly and 11 ish at the weekend or is this too late.

Mine is in bed for 9.30, lights off by 10. But he's still awake long past this as his body clock is still on lockdown hours. Plus he's naturally a night owl like me.

DD is Year 10 now, but we didn't have a set bed time in Year 9 - she went to bed when she was tired. As long as she was getting up in time for school and completing homework and other activities, I didn't get involved.

I’m having the same issue with my dd who’s the same age as yours. I’ve said in bed by 10 pm week nights but by the time she’s faffed about it’s nearing 10:30-11. She has to get up at 7:15am spit too late. She doesn’t seem tired though.

Mine doesn't really have a bedtime. She's autistic so sleep is a bit hit and miss. She's usually bedding down about 10. 30 but she may not be asleep for hours or she may go off quickly and be awake for a couple of hours in the middle of the night. She wakes up pretty well so I leave it up to her.

That makes me feel better - mine is nearing 11pm and I was a bit concerned. However he's never needed much sleep - as a toddler he never napped in the day. He seems OK.

10pm. I want to make sure she's unplugged from the matrix before I go up at 10.30!

10pm usually.

Devices out of bedroom by 9pm. Lights out 10pm. That's the plan anyway.

In bed by 10 on week nights - realistically this is usually 10.30. No devices in the bedroom but can read for as long as they like. DC natural night owls but will adjust if they start struggling to get up for school. Weekends it's entirely up to them.

Yes agreed 10pm with no devices. 11.30 isnt a great time for an adult let alone a teen.

Thanks everyone, 10 it is then with 10.30 sleep time.. hopefully!

I must be mean. DD has light out at 9pm. Devices have to be brought down before dinner around 7pm and if she wants she can watch TV or read.

Her alarm goes at 6.15am, she needs a daily shower in the morning and has a 40min walk to school and her bubble is supposed to be there at 8.05am.

At weekends it depends on what we do and I don't mind a later bedtime.

Ideally asleep by 10am. She starts getting ready around 9pm but faffs around having a shower and then she is supposed to be reading by 9.45 at the latest.

Any later and she is revolting especially if the sleep deficit accumulates over the week. She is highly strung anyway and has major meltdowns when she's tired.

She doesn't really complain that much as she hates being tired.

Ideally 930 because I go just after 10.

She heads up 8-8:40 Sun-Thursday, might stay up an extra hour Friday & Saturday, but she's also known to go up earlier even on school nights. As long as it's all quiet by 9, I don't check unless she's been foul with everyone.

She's always been my lark. No matter how late she's stayed up or when we set her alarm, she's up at 5:30-6, 7 is a long lie in with her. I keep expecting it to change to more teen-ish hours, but nope, she'll happily stay up but be moody with all of us when she gets up at the same time without her 9+ hours sleep.

I use these guidelines plus time for reading in bed/falling asleep and what they want to do in the morning when we discuss bedtimes.

Mine puts herself to bed at 8.30pm with lights out at 9pm on school nights. Mostly because she has to be up at 6.30am in the morning.

We are finding it difficult to switch off after a day of not doing things

I have 13 yo twins and one takes himself to bed about 9pm, the other one struggles to switch off and I usually make sure he's switching his light out about 10.30pm at the latest, guess which one finds it hard to get up in the morning 🤣

NHS guidelines are 9 hours 15 minutes sleep at 13, so work back from the time she has to get up to decide a bedtime. The reality is, sleep needs do vary between individuals so she could need anywhere between 8 and 10 hours but more sleep is better than less.

What time did she wake up naturally (without an alarm/light) when she was going to bed at 11pm? That should give you are rough idea of how much she needs.

It's not great sleep hygiene to vary bedtimes on different days. We can cope with 1 hour difference maximum before we start to feel the effects. It's no different from jet lag. It's easier for our bodies to cope with staying up an hour later than it is to fall asleep an hour earlier. If she stays up late on Saturday night, then gets up late on Sunday, she may find it hard to fall asleep at the right time on Sunday night so she will feel the effects of Saturday's late night on Monday rather than Sunday.

Comes down to brush teeth etc at 10 donusuallyin bed by 10:15 his PlayStation controller and phone have to stay dow stairs so pretty sure he goes to sleep soon after. He has to be up at 6:30. No bedtime on weekends but he still goes about 11 at the latest if he has a match the next morning.

DD year 10 (14 nearly 15)
Phone handed in 10.30
She then faffs removing makeup etc. Is probably in bed by 11. Up at 7.30.
She seems fine on it. It used to be a lot earlier but we gave up were more relaxed over lockdown and it's hard to go back too far.

Realistically after sports clubs, homework and dinner she's only going on her phone at 9-9.30 ish. All her friends are on at the same time so she'd miss out on a lot otherwise.

my 13 year old is struggling to sleep. We have lights out at 9.45 but he keeps fiddling with his phone so I think that is going to be banned from the bedroom.

We banned phones from bedrooms from the start, and the screen downtime is programmed for 8pm to give her brain time to wind down from the stimulation.

week nights: bed by 9:30 and lights off by 10.
up at 7
weekends before midnight.

devices are on night modus from 9-7
basically only the alarm function works during that time.