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Original poster

School mum is posting sexualised photos of her 9yo on IG

66 replies

Fressia123 · 09/09/2020 20:33

My DD just confided in me that her friend is being forced by her mum to pose for IG. I've looked the account up and the photos are all very much sexualised. I can only think of the horrible things those photos have been used for and how they're online to never disappear. Is this a safeguarding issue? Should the school know? I've told my DD that she should encoury her friend to tell their teacher, that that's the only way something can be done about it. I'd be grateful for any further advice.

OP posts:
Notapheasantplucker · 09/09/2020 21:32

100% tell the school

Riv · 09/09/2020 21:38

As I was told many times during years of safeguarding training: "if in doubt, there is no doubt you must report".
If something concerns you about a child tell someone who can do something. School, NSPCC, Bernardos, SS, for example. Report to them leave them to decide what to do with the information.
Once reported, it's the problem of whoever you report it to decide what to do with it. Your little bit of information may be nothing, it could be a worry worth investigating or it could even be the final piece of a major "jigsaw of evidence" that the authorities have been collating. Always report if it worries you.

greengreengrass14 · 09/09/2020 21:40

Child Exploitation and Online Protection Services

otherwise known as CEOP

Ordinary coppers don't necessarily have the skills.

Google this please they have a helpline and reporting procedure.

Pleaase report to them.

greengreengrass14 · 09/09/2020 21:43

Please contact child exploitation and online protection services.

This is the specialist arm of the police here is thwww.ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/
e link

greengreengrass14 · 09/09/2020 21:44

www.ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/

Sittin · 09/09/2020 21:44

Email (so it’s recorded and they can’t ignore). Don’t discuss with anyone else including your daughter. All you need do is send the link and a brief summary - like the first two sentences of your OP.

greengreengrass14 · 09/09/2020 21:44

Are you worried about online sexual abuse or the way someone has been communicating with you online?
Make a report to one of CEOP's Child Protection Advisors

Should I make a report to CEOP?
If you're worried about online abuse or the way someone has been communicating online, let CEOP know.

What happens when I make a report?
One of our experienced Child Protection Advisors will be there to make sure you get the help that you need.

How can CEOP help me?
Online abuse affects many children and young people every day, CEOP has helped thousands of people in need of support.

Sittin · 09/09/2020 21:46

Sorry, should have said email school. It is a school matter because it is your daughter that told you. School will contact other authorities as necessary.

Newnamenewopenme · 09/09/2020 21:51

I know you won’t want the pictures on your phone, but can you screenshot them and forward them on to school/police/ss! I’m just thinking the page might be taken down and the evidence that could help the girl lost.

scrivette · 09/09/2020 22:12

Absolutely contact the safeguarding lead at the school. They will be able to refer on to the appropriate area.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 09/09/2020 22:13

Thanks for all the replies. I think I'll.make some phone calls tomorrow even if the agencies overlap.

OP posts:
Singlewhiteguineapig · 09/09/2020 22:22

Do not screenshot the pictures

nitsandwormsdodger · 09/09/2020 23:24

Please do report but not gossip about this to anyone including your daughter

Stressful these situations aren't they ?

Ellmau · 09/09/2020 23:34

Yes, report.

Pinkchocolate · 09/09/2020 23:40

This is so worrying! Totally agree with above. The school will have to contact social services. Take screenshots and give them with the name she is under.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 10/09/2020 06:45

I really didn't think it would affect me this much. We call the mum "stage mum" and my DD had told me about the IG but never had looked for it. She also has a FB profile which isn't as bad but has some of those photos.

OP posts:
Fingerbobs · 10/09/2020 06:59

It is pretty grim, I’m sure I’d feel the same. It’s totally right to go with your gut and as pp have said, always report. I did some sessions for work with a safeguarding expert, one of whose jobs was to investigate and report when a child had died, and every single time she said people know perfectly well there was a problem but didn’t feel it was their place to do anything about it. So her view was that you always should because even if you never hear again and nothing seems to change, it can be a pice or a jigsaw that will ultimately help the child. I am very glad I’ve never had to do it but you are absolutely right.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 10/09/2020 09:16

I've cold NSPCC and they weren't much help, they told me that I should contact IG and find someone to talk to the family. I'll try the other helpline

OP posts:
SummerSummerSummertime · 10/09/2020 09:18

Of course you should Tell the school. Or social services op. 🤷‍♀️

Itsjustabitofbanter · 10/09/2020 09:23

I’d definitely report. Even if they’re not being posted for a sinister reason, this poor kid is going to grow up and these pictures of her will still be on the internet. Imagine her getting a respectable job and then someone she’s fallen out with come across these pictures, it could ruin her life

CorvusPurpureus · 10/09/2020 09:36

Call school, & ask to speak to safeguarding lead, or for the email details for them - they'll probably be teaching & unable to come straight to the phone, but should get back to you.

Explain your concern. Make it clear that the child has spoken to your dd & is unhappy with the situation. Provide link to the IG account - on no account screenshot anything!

The SL will take it from there.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 10/09/2020 09:40

I've messaged CEOP too and will email the school later.

OP posts:
Witchend · 10/09/2020 09:49

Yes, report to school as you said here. They can take the appropriate safeguarding steps.

But the child is saying she doesn't want to do the photos not necessarily that her mum is setting up the poses.
I can certainly think of times when I've gone "let's have a nice photo to send to granny to say thank you for paying for the trip" type thing and one has said something like "you're always forcing us to stop for photos" - which isn't true btw, I don't take many by modern standards and most don't have the dc in.

There is a difference here if the mum is saying "put your hand here, wear thid, do that" or if she says "just a quick photo", so friend does a pose she's imitating and wearing what she chose.
But that is for the safeguarding to decide not you.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 10/09/2020 09:53

It's a "modelling account" and all photos are staged with outfit, hair and makeup so I would think it includes everything.

OP posts:
WhatifIfeellikeacat · 10/09/2020 10:09

IG account has now been closed down apparently

What if someone reports such an account to IG? Will they close it down? Also wonder why IG allows it at all.