Should I bother doing this or not?...

[OhCrapOhDear]

Wasn’t sure where to put this so, sod it, it shall go here.

I’m at a loss. My youngest is about to start school and I have no job. No qualifications as such (though I consider myself to be fairly intelligent, ish. Ha!)
After giving my all to family life the past few years, I want to do something for me. I need some kind of future.

After buying a house 3 years ago, I became engrossed in the whole process.
I’ve looked up courses for becoming a conveyancer. But would I be daft to jump head first into it? I’ve looked at the job market in my area for that kind of work and there’s nothing. Is there any point? Who would hire me when I’m mid thirties with a young family? And no experience in anything other than child rearing for the last few years.
Aargh. What do I do?

What would you really like to do? I know several people who career changed in later life including one that went back to uni to do it and another who did an internship. In my industry I know of a few internships that are available for anyone over 18 without a degree. The hours might be shit and depending on which one it ranges from £18k to £21k. But it’s a huge stepping stone in a company that does boost people a lot once you are on their radar.

Not a conveyancer myself but have worked in a similar field previously. Would you be looking at doing the CILEX route? I don't think your age or having a young family would prevent you doing that as I know others who qualified in their late 30s.

Maybe it would be worth applying for a job as an office assistant in a law firm and to would get a feel for the environment that way.

It's not really a job that suits working part time (if you are considering that) as the transactions are non stop and it's difficult to hand over a number of files to a colleague. Friday afternoons are also often really busy and hectic as that's when the majority of transactions complete.

It's also a pretty repetitive and imo boring job with a lot of screen time and paperwork, but if you miss something the firm can be sued for thousands.

Have you thought of becoming an estate agent or working for a property development company? At least that way you get a bit more variety and actually to see the properties (although you might have to work Saturdays or early evenings), and don't have years of qualifications to attain.

But would I be daft to jump head first into it?

I wouldn't worry about your age or the fact you have a young family.

But I'd definitely do more research on different routes, potential employers, where you'd be planning to aim for career-wise, etc before shelling out cash on a course (unless you have money to burn).

@MiddleClassProblem I really don’t know what I’d like to do 😞 I feel lost. I just want to do something
I’ve always loved researching things. I can get lost down a rabbit hole for hours once something grabs my interest. Which is why I though conveyancing would be a good call! I’d be able to do the course no problem, but you need an actual work placement to qualify and I can’t see anyone taking me on with my sorry CV. I really do feel lost. Completely. I’d even offer to work for free if it meant I’d get somewhere in life.
I don’t mean to be rude, but what industry are you in?

TV production. Where abouts are you based?

In the midlands... you’d think there would be plenty of opportunities given where I live. I just don’t know where to start!

I wouldn’t mind repetitiveness in a job really. After 7 years of constant nappy changes and squabbling between siblings, anything would be a welcome change!
I wouldn’t even mind an office assistant job, but realistically, who would hire me? I just think there’s too much competition out there an I will always lose. I have nothing to offer on paper. I have drive and I’m willing to work hard

I think this is where a cover letter is your friend. You can really explain your passion, desire to work and skills you have gained from life. CV can show this too. Also, ask around with people you know, if you are open to interning, do it. Or write to companies asking if they have work experience placements. I think legally it can only be two weeks max at one company.

The other route is volunteering. Especially if it’s a skill you would like to develop for your CV this can be a real win win situation.

I’d imagine work experience might be tricky with Covid but you can still write to people to get on their radar.

Can you volunteer to bolster your cv? Apply for other jobs you can do as you study?

The problem is that the legal profession has been affected by covid just like everyone else. In my experience office assistant type roles are recruited for quite regularly as it's not a role people tend to stay in for long, maybe a year max but you could just do it for 3 months to see if you like the legal environment. Once you have a foot in the door it gets so much easier. You just need to apply for roles once things settle down with covid and emphasise that you're reliable, organised, confident answering the phone and welcoming clients etc. I'd rather have an enthusiastic 30 something in charge of that then an 18 year old.

The other route is volunteering. Especially if it’s a skill you would like to develop for your CV this can be a real win win situation

Absolutely. Citizens Advice Bureau perhaps?

Random idea but I don't know if you live near any of the Land Registry offices (there are a couple in the Midlands) but getting a temporary job there would be excellent experience and very desirable when applying for legal roles as even qualified solicitors often struggle with the registration part of conveyancing.

Might be worth looking into as its government run and so might be more likely to be recruiting than the private sector. Also the residential property market is booming atm and will be very busy while there's the stamp duty holiday

I’d absolutely be open to the idea of volunteering. In fact I think that’s where I would start, just to bulk up my cv if anything. And it would give me taste of working life again. I know how pathetic I must sound. I feel like I’m having a mini internal crisis.
I’ve been ‘just a mum’ for so long, I have no idea where my skills lie. I’m certainly not incompetent, but clearly I’m not skilled either.
I’d love someone to give me a chance just to prove myself, I know I’m very capable. But on paper I look pointless.
I wonder if they do apprenticeships for people my age? 🤔 I’d love to have a skill . I just want o be good at something and feel worthwhile.

There are some great free short on line courses on futurelearn and coursera about applying for jobs/ job hunting etc.
Volunteering is a great idea too.

Have a look at the what colour is your parachute book and website.
Try some of the quizzes etc to help you identify your skills
Try do- it.com for volunteering opportunities.

It’s completely understandable and natural to feel the way you do and doubt yourself but there is no reason why you won’t get into the work place at some point. As pp said going in in your 30s shows you really want it and are probably seen as more reliable.

I’d love someone to give me a chance just to prove myself, I know I’m very capable

Jeez, you're talking as if you've sent out your CV and personalised letters to 200 companies and they've all rejected you!

All you've done so far is think about it, so these potential employers who 'definitely won't want you' don't even know you exist yet - at least put yourself out there and give them a chance to reject you first!

I absolutely agree with the volunteering route - CAB or doing admin at your local law centre would be a great start.

As well as looking at courses, have you looked at jobs in your area that don't require qualifications? There may well be companies who are quite happy for someone without experience, especially if you can start at short notice, etc.

You will also have an advantage in the current climate in that lots of companies can't commit to permanent roles, but hardly anyone is going to give up their current permanent role for a temp role, whereas you don't have that concern.

Thanks everyone. You’ve definitely given me some food for though
@thesandwich I will definitely check out those websites, thank you.

Honestly though, I do think I would be overlooked given I’ve got a young family. Surely I will seem like a liability to a company?
I cringed just writing that but realistically my children need to come first and any employer would sense that. I mean in terms of them being poorly, days of school, etc. Am I wrong in thinking that would be undesirable to an employer? Why would they hire me when they could hire a younger woman with no responsibilities and more experience?

I know how defeatist I sound, but this is the battle in my head atm!

There are apprenticeships for people of any age, so that's definitely an option. But I would also suggest volunteering. I run the volunteering department in a large charity and we have a vast variety of roles that you can get involved in:

• researching
• admin
• reception
• teaching support
• evaluation of service delivery

And of course the more regular roles in retail and service delivery I have had a number of mums volunteer for me all in their 30's/40's who have been out of the job market for a long time due to children. All of them have gained great experience (I always try to get them to do a wide variety of tasks) and gone on to work in marketing, finance, teaching and hr.

@MiddleClassProblem

I think this is where a cover letter is your friend. You can really explain your passion, desire to work and skills you have gained from life. CV can show this too. Also, ask around with people you know, if you are open to interning, do it. Or write to companies asking if they have work experience placements. I think legally it can only be two weeks max at one company.

The other route is volunteering. Especially if it’s a skill you would like to develop for your CV this can be a real win win situation.

Totally agree.

You need a more positive attitude because this will help you sell yourself.

Any agencies about you could start off with to get experience in various roles and also see if anything jumps out at you and you're passionate about?

But a love of research opens up so many opportunities.

Perhaps even a TA job that fits around children and do a qualification alongside - evening class maybe? The job could fund this. You could do research into areas of education and use this as evidence if your skills in future employment.

@LonginesPrime I totally agree with you. My attitude towards this is terrible. I guess my self esteem is at an all time low. As in, why bother trying when I know I’ll fail? Which is an awful outlook. Thanks for your post. I need to try , I’ll never know until I do.

And it's not just a mum.

Think of all the skills being a mum has given you.

Organised.
Able to arrange appointments and a diary.
Able to multi task.
Top negotiator

@itsgettingweird thank you 😊
I do feel that way, I’ve definitely grown as a person since becoming a mum. I’ve gained many skills in that respect.
But will an employer take notice of that? I guess it depends on the employer, doesn’t it? Some may acknowledge that I’m competent of doing a job, others may laugh me out the door.
I think I’ll tentatively apply for a few jobs... I’m not holding out much hope but I’ll see what happens. Definitely going to look into volunteering though. I think my confidence needs a boost!
Thanks everyone. Feeling a bit washed up and pointless this evening but hopefully there is hope for me.

This might be abit long, but I don't like the idea of you letting yourelf down before you've started OP.

Firstly, you mention that you have a young family and they need to come first. I get that, I have a 10 month old and a 2 year old. But their dad (my dh) and i are a team when it comes to the kids, if one of us can't pick up the other goes. The kids come first for both of us. What is your kids dad doing, are you together? What kind of support is he going to give you? You need to both be on board, and both very clear and fair about your expectations of each other.

Secondly, you're deciding you've failed before you've even tried. Don't sell yourself short, don't self deprecate, know your value and be prepared to advocate for yourself in every job application. To quote Loreal, you're worth it. Keep that in mind, any interviewer talking to you will be looking for someone who knows what they are doing, and what they are worth. Confidence is key, if you don't have it, fake it til you make it (truly, it works).

On top of that, employers are not even really supposed to ask about your family commitments, let alone base hiring decisions on them these days. And even if they do bring it up, you can use it as a positive, how wonderful it's been to be able to care for your kids, and how exciting it is now to be on the cusp of launching your career, etc etc.

In terms of finding roles to build experience, get your cv off to a few local employment agencies, and give them a call. Ask for advice on how to structure your cv for maximum inpact, and ask them what roles they are currently struggling to fill, as these will tell you where the skills shortages are locally. Don't discount online job seeking websites and linkedin too, I was approached a couple of weeks ago after putting my cv on CV library, and am now in the second round of interviewing for a company that I'd absolutely love to work for, that I didn't even know were hiring. They use a recruiter, and the recruiter found my cv and called me.

On top of the sites mentioned by pp, the open university has a free short course section, where you can take online courses you might be interested in, and coursera.com has a wealth of free online educational courses and resources, to allow you to try out courses and see where your skills and interests lie.

Most of all though, don't sell yourself short, don't talk yourself out of trying, and definitely don't tell an interviewer that you think your young family might put them off. Don't worry about what other people do, who else might be interviewing/applying what they might think of your young family, etc etc. Go for the roles you want, that you think you are capable of, and stand up for yourself as the best possible candidate for that role.

Volunteering will massively help your confidence. As the pp in a charity says they could give you the chance to explore what you enjoy.
Some schools are taking volunteers too.
But certainly look at online courses. They demonstrate your commitment. And your cv does not show your children......