Only just passed and nearly caused a crash...talk me down/what next

[LlamaGiles]

I know some errors are to be expected of a new driver but this was really awful and has left me wondering if I should actually be on the road. I've just got home, I'm shaking and crying my eyes out.

I was turning right at a busy junction, stalled, tried again, stalled again (it was a slight hill), panicked, forgot the handbrake, drifted backwards and nearly hit the car behind me. Lots of beeping and shouting from passers by. By the time I sorted myself out and actually managed to start the car the lights had changed again, I was blocking the junction and had to do the turn but stop immediately so people could cross as by that time it was the pedestrians turn to go. Because I'd missed my turn I couldn't tell when it was safe so there was lots of beeping again before I set off. By the time I was going again I was so shaken I could literally feel my foot shaking when I pressed the pedal. I didn't really want to drive another second but I somehow managed to get home. Practically hyperventilating. I honestly feel sick and I'm not sure what to do, I've just said to my DP there's no way I'm getting in the car again but we've bought a car so I have to try! I could have more lessons but I'm not sure if that would help since I've just had loads to pass? What now?

What now is that you take a minute to calm down and then go get in your car and take a short drive. You had a very minor cock up, that's all. No one was hurt and no damage was done. Believe me, you can be driving for 30 years and still make mistakes!

Don't beat yourself up about this, op. The worst part are the impatient, rude arseholes blaring their horns as though they are such perfect drivers. You will be a brilliant driver, I'm sure of it!

you chalk it up to being a new driver.
Honestly it probably felt awful but no one got hurt.
I would force myself to ho straight back out tbh.

Find a quiet road, industrial estate perhaps with a hill and do a few hill starts etc... don't stop driving, you will build it up.
No its not great but you've just passed and even the most experienced drivers make mistakes xx

Also do you have the P plates on your car? To show you are a new driver? I'm always much more considerate and patient with drivers who have those

That doesn't even sound that bad tbh. Someone nearly hit me today by driving the wrong way up a one way road, he didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed. At least you're new and want to get better.

Sit down with a cuppa and take a few deep breaths. Then get back out for a short drive somewhere.

The main thing to remember is that you DIDN't cause an accident. You stalled and got flustered. You didn't hit anyone or anything. Don't let this build up into something that puts you off driving.

These things happen to us all.

You didn't nearly cause a crash. You panicked and stalled and then forgot to put the handbrake on. Breathe.

And get back in the car. Plan an easy route that you're familiar with to get your confidence back

I know that this isn't what you want to hear right now, but practice, practice, practice. Try and do some driving during quieter hours if you can- like early morning, late evening. Take deep breaths. Get familiar with a single route and then expand from there. It's horrible when you make a mistake and the panic takes over and there are horns and beeps and you just can't think straight.

It took me 6 months to be comfortable on the roads. Until then all I could feel the whole time was panic. And the more panic I felt, the more mistakes I made. I had my route to work/ home and I stuck to that route no matter what- even if it meant sitting in a 40 min traffic jam. I got used to that route. Once I got used to it, I was able to begin to anticipate what others were getting up to. This meant that I was also getting more comfortable with going off-route.

Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Try and stay calm. And try and practise as much as possible.

We've all been there. Dont beat yourself up. The advice I give my children, one of whom passed his test and had to start driving to work the very next week, the other of whom passed years ago but has never driven alone until recently and is subsequently quite nervous about it, is display your P plates. Other drivers are more inclined to make allowances when they see them. I have been a passenger in the car with my sons and they have got into similar situations as you and noone peeped them. Honestly, try it.

Oh, and one thing that I did in the beginning when it came to hill starts waa to revv the shit out of my engine. Yes, it's bad for it but it helped me learn exactly how much to press what pedal in order to set off on a hill.

Ah, bless you, OP. Go out this evening and have a drive with your DP by your side. Hill starts are awful at first. Something my driving instructor said to me that might be helpful is that while you are taking up that piece of road it 'belongs' to you and no-one else has any right to it, so while you are waiting or faffing with the handbrake etc it is tough, the road is yours and it is your turn. It really helped me to slow down, think about what I was doing and perform manouevres without worrying about anyone else behind me. They have to wait for me to finish and then it is their turn.

Congrats for passing your test!

The tests these days are much harder to do! Trust me I’ve been trying 😂

Have a cuppa & plan a drive. Simple quiet roads. Just go. Just go and get back in the car.

Don’t let it become a big thing. It doesn’t have to be! X

I passed my test over 15 years ago and consider myself an experienced driver, but I recently somehow got in a fluster doing a hill start and rolled my car into a wall 🙈

It happens. As other PPs said, calm down and then go for a short drive to reassure yourself you can still do it. You will be fine.

I would advise P plates if you dont have them, just for a little while.
The real experience of driving is what you get after you pass your test. It doesn't sound like you did more than panic and stall.

I crunched the wheel arch against the gatepost after reversing onto our narrow uphill drive about a week after I passed my test and rang my DH sobbing that I'd had a car accident and ruined the car. I was still sat in the car but didn't dare move it incase I caused further damage..he panicked a little until I told him I was on the drive and he came out, told me not to worry and took over and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined. It knocked my confidence but I knew I had to carry on and not let it affect me.

3 years later and I'm not a bad driver at all. Stick at it.

Please take into account that your jangled nerves are making your mind blow this very minor incident way out of proportion. Absolutely nothing happened besides a blow to your confidence and a few irritated people.

Thanks everyone these comments are really reassuring. I still feel wobbly but a bit better. I do have P plates but I live in London and I feel like people are quite stressy on the road at the best of times so I'm not sure how much it helps, in fact my last instructor told me not to get them in London as some drivers take it as a challenge! The advice about sticking to one route until you feel confident and then expanding is good. I think I will try that. No way I'm getting back in the car today but I will force myself tomorrow.

I really really wish I'd learnt to drive when I was younger and not left it until I was nearly 40, I think I'm much more panicky than I was then!

My daughter is going through this. She passed first time and has been driving a few weeks.. every day she comes home and says she is not sure she really knows how to drive and keeps making mistakes !
I tell her you only really learn to drive properly when you are on your own and have to make your own decisions. It takes time to build confidence and feel relaxed driving so don't give up. No harm was done and people were v rude to toot at you . Have you got your P plates on the car ? They help I think , or at least they should. Get back on the horse as it were and forget it . X

A bit of a cock up, and you scared yourself.
But, you'll never forget to put your handbrake on again.
I did something similar after a week of passing my test, and you feel like an idiot but you move on and learn.

Don't be hard on yourself op

Take a deep breath, nothing bad actually happened. Yes it was unpleasant and probably embarrassing but no one was hurt and nothing damaged.

Have a cup of tea and tomorrow go and practise your hill starts somewhere quiet, and once your confidence is back, go back to the junction that went wrong, and do it perfectly

P s . My other daughter reversed into an ambulance at the petrol station . Right in front of a police car as well. She had only been driving a week ! But no damage was done except to her ego but it shook her up for a while ! We all make mistakes !

Count yourself lucky; exactly the same thing happened to me in the first five minutes of the test. and I was failed because of it.

I remember my driving examiner saying to me "The first time you drive the car after your pass today, is when you start to really learn to drive". He was right. We all make mistakes. In your case, I'd just go out somewhere quiet by myself, and practice clutch control. Just to regain confidence. And get some P plates so the arseholes around you will realise you're a new driver.

We learn from these things if we have the mindset that we’re not perfect. You know you’re still establishing your confidence in your skills as a driver so keep practicing, as others have said maybe find places and routes that are quieter to reinforce what you learned for your test.

What my instructor said was that in the year after passing the test you really learn to drive, and that you should never stop examining your driving skills. Even the best racing drivers keep practicing and looking at mistakes they make.

You messed up, it happens. It happens to everyone, even the knobs that were beeping. Their fuck up will be even more knobbish as they'll blame everyone else for their bad driving.

The panic does not help and makes any situation 10 times worse in your mind. Really you stalled, and rolled back a bit. The trick is to get control of the 'oh fuck fuck fuck' thoughts and turn them into what you're actually wanting to do. Would it help to write / memorise outside the situation what you need to do? So I've stalled - brake, (handbrake), clutch down out of gear, restart, in gear, bite point, brake off , go.

Also, If you just passed, in your instructor's car, it can take some getting used to for your car. Everyone takes a little time to get familiar with a new one. Plus, I found it a big jump going from a 1-3 year old car, to a 12+ first car, everything was just a bit less sensitive and more worn in.

When I changed to a 3 year old car a few year back from a 12+, I may have come to quite a few sudden stops....

Take it little by little. Get in the car, drive around the block and back home. Drive to somewhere close by that you know is a relatively easy drive - not too many junctions/right turns (I’ve been driving for 40 years and still take the ‘easiest’ routes - my DH thinks I’m nuts, but I don’t care).
All drivers sometimes make mistakes, don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s early days and your confidence will increase.

It's really not that bad. After I passed I failed to realise Berkeley square (yes, smack on the middle of London) was one-way, and was about to drive onto Oxford Street in the wrong direction. There were passers by waving and shouting. I've now been driving 16 years with no other issues.

@LlamaGiles definitely do not get P plates in London!! I've seen horrific behaviour. Tbh I found motorways and dual carriageways easier when I first passed, and they gave me confidence I could do it. Try getting out of London, find somewhere you want to go. People are a lot more forgiving outside the M25.