Only just passed and nearly caused a crash...talk me down/what next

[LlamaGiles]

I know some errors are to be expected of a new driver but this was really awful and has left me wondering if I should actually be on the road. I've just got home, I'm shaking and crying my eyes out.

I was turning right at a busy junction, stalled, tried again, stalled again (it was a slight hill), panicked, forgot the handbrake, drifted backwards and nearly hit the car behind me. Lots of beeping and shouting from passers by. By the time I sorted myself out and actually managed to start the car the lights had changed again, I was blocking the junction and had to do the turn but stop immediately so people could cross as by that time it was the pedestrians turn to go. Because I'd missed my turn I couldn't tell when it was safe so there was lots of beeping again before I set off. By the time I was going again I was so shaken I could literally feel my foot shaking when I pressed the pedal. I didn't really want to drive another second but I somehow managed to get home. Practically hyperventilating. I honestly feel sick and I'm not sure what to do, I've just said to my DP there's no way I'm getting in the car again but we've bought a car so I have to try! I could have more lessons but I'm not sure if that would help since I've just had loads to pass? What now?

Really feel for you OP. I've always hated driving with a passion and it massively gets to me if people beep at me like that/demonstrate any aggression toward me.
No advice really except that you will get better & more confident as time goes on and I highly doubt anyone else involved will remember this beyond today except you so (easier said than done) but try not to dwell on it too much.

Don't recommend P Plates to new/ nervous drivers. Crash4cash scammers are on the look out for those sorts of car drivers all the time. When I learned to drive I didn't read the manual on my automatic. I put the hand brake on up a hill, and was alarmed when it rolled back into traffic. Turns out there was hill start on the car which was deactivated through the hand-brake. I felt a tad bit silly at the time but it is not that bad really. I see an awful lot of bad and dangerous driving where I live. Rural roads turn people into boy-racers who end up in the hedge. You don't learn to drive by passing a test, and it takes years of experience in different conditions to feel remotely confident. Driving is not just a technical skill, but a game of avoiding other drivers and pedestrians who don't behave as they should. Stop being hard on yourself and ignore beeping drivers as they are just angry people in a hurry. The other day one of my neighbours (a charmer) drove into my lane to avoid parked cars up our road so I pulled over to miss him hurtling towards me. He stopped at my car, wound the window down, spat at me, called me a dick who should get out of his way...I could have crawled into a ball, but preferred to make rude gestures at him about the size of his penis. Lots of nutters on the road, and it is part of the liberty of driving that you try to develop a thick skin.

I passed age 17 and my instructor said I should take the car out on my own immediately to get over any possible fear of driving without an experienced driver alongside.

My parents sent me straight out for a drive in the family estate car with my non-driving French penfriend, who was staying at the time.

All went well until I met a tractor down a narrow lane and had to reverse what was probably about 1/4 mile, although it felt like 10 miles. I veered from verge to verge, with the tractor on my front bumper all the time and my penfriend making little panicky French exclamations all the way.

Once we escaped, trembling, I drove straight home, and turned into the drive, scratching a deep groove all down the left hand side of the car on the gatepost. My French penfriend was struck dumb by this.

My parents, thankfully, were very sympathetic and my dad went out with me the next day (minus the penfriend) to help build my confidence back up.

I now drive over 20,000 miles for work each year. An early setback is not the end of the world or your driving career.

Go back to that junction with your dh with you and practice that same right turn a few times.

Everyone makes mistakes and the more you get out and drive, the more you will build your confidence. Have a look into pass plus. It helped me get used to ordinary roads and motorways. Ive been driving 4 years and i stalled my car last friday as i was getting ready to leave a supermarket car park. No accident but did cause me to have a meltdown and my car not to start. Doesn't help that im pregnant and a bit emotional. But i agree with a previous poster, get rid if the P plates. They really aren't needed and don't make most other drivers more patient with you

Keep a bar of emergency chocolate in your glove box for these situations.

The day I passed my driving test I was so excited I took my brother to a drive-in McDonalds.

Stupidly I parked the car and when I reserved out I caught the bumper of the car next to me and dented the side of my car.

Zero damage to their bumper but not a good start for me!

Was in a bit of trouble with my parents but got back in the saddle ASAP.

I chose to believe that it happened to make me a better driver because I was more aware of of the risks.

Don't beat yourself up, OP, you got a little bit flustered, that's all. You didn't hit a car or any people! It took me about a year to feel completely confident when I passed my test in my 30s. I did lots of small drives at first, 15, 20 minutes and built up my confidence that way.

It sounds a stressful experience but no-one got hurt, that's the main thing. It's a shame you had the horn jockeys on your case but sadly they're everywhere these days. A couple of years ago my car cut out on a big busy roundabout - guy behind me started hitting his horn, like I'd stopped dead in the middle of a roundabout for the f-ing fun of it!!

Wait until it goes quiet later and go back to that junction and do your right turn again, a couple of times if you can. It sounds scary but it will become scarier if you leave it too long. Take DP as passenger for company if he's a quiet calm type.

If it helps I ran a kid over a week after passing my test (not my fault, she ran out from behind a car without looking and actually she hit the side of my car before flying over the bonnet). But it was traumatic. I got back behind The wheel the next day even though it was hard.

If in doubt - put your handbrake on.

I have done this more times than I can count, it isn't the end of the world - it is experience. I still stall even after 10 years of driving! And I have driven all sorts of cars and vans. To be fair to you, the person behind you should have left you space and not been sitting on your arse at a junction on a hill.

Have a cup of tea and go for a short drive later today or tomorrow to get your confidence up. You are competent and your examiner has faith in you that you won't be a danger to yourself or others on the road and that is why you passed. Take care!

May I suggest you get a dashcam? It wouldn’t have helped you today but it’s an independent witness if there’s an accident.

People will often blame a new driver if there’s an accident due to inexperience but dashcam footage could prove otherwise.

Someone drove into me when I was a new driver, then drove off and later tried to claim it was my fault! Thankfully I had footage and the insurance sided with me.

Sounds simple but have you put P plates on the car - most reasonable drivers will give P plate drivers a bit of a latitude - we've all been new drivers and we've all panicked and made mistakes - I think I plastered about 10 P plates on my first car 🤣

I drove into a pub fence when I first passed
Then scraped my car right down the side when reversing out of a drive

Your mistake wasn't all that bad. You will also make mistakes at times as an experienced driver. Don't believe anyone who says they haven't. Usually they are small but they happen.

Stop being so hard on yourself and get back into that car. It is embarrassing when you make a mistake but you will have learned from it.

I remember being told that you first learn to pass your test, then you learn how to drive.

Not sure about the P plates in London. I'm in a small town and I do always male allowances for a P driver, but I guess it's different in a city.

On my very first trip out alone after passing, I broke down in the drive through with traffic behind me. I was terrified and embarrassed. Thankfully the man in front somehow saw my predicament, hopped out and fixed my car there and then in seconds. I was so grateful. These things happen to us all OP back in the saddle asap I say!

My advice would be to drive everyday, even a short journey, it will help your confidence. Take off the P plates. Most sensible drivers would cut you some slack, but unfortunately some won’t. Good luck OP & try not to worry.

I thought that you were going to describe a serious crash and error of judgement. What you have described is just really common. Even experienced drivers roll backwards occasionally. And yes, I do still occasionally stall, after 20+ years of driving. What you described was not dangerous, but just down to being flustered as a new driver. Put P Plates on if you are still nervous, but do get back behind the wheel. Go out this evening on some quieter roads. practice hill starts just pulling away on a quiet cul-de-sac. If you are worried about that particular junction, take a passenger for moral support and do it again. When I first learned to drive I was a nervous wreck. I used to drive around with Enya in the cassette recorder and my rabbit in a cat carrier in the passenger seat, so that I would have someone to talk too!! 😁

Give it a couple of hours until the traffic dies down, get DP in the car for support and go and try that junction again. That way you’ll know you can do it! Don’t let it become a big deal, being a new driver is a massive learning curve and hill starts are shit even when you’ve been driving for years!

I was allowed to drive my employers landrover shortly after passing my test - I worked on a farm. It was parked head on to a corrugated iron barn. I started up, put it in reverse, and, looking over my shoulder behind me, drove straight forward at speed into the barn wall leaving a landrover shaped dent. Oops! Fortunately they thought it was funny. The only thing I can say to you op, is get out there and get driving. Yes, you will be nervous, and yes, it will not always go to plan, but practice is the only way. You will really have to challenge yourself at times, and I know its easier to back away, but don't. Grit your teeth and get driving. If you allow this slight mishap to eat into your psyche, you will stop even trying to drive on your own , which will ultimately be a total waste of your time and your money on lessons.

I think it’s an obligatory part of being a new driver...and even drivers with years of experience make mistakes. As someone who hates hill starts and used to avoid roads that risked a hill traffic light/stall scenario...practice practice practice. You’ll be fine.

We all have a story like that from not long after we passed our tests... mine was stalling on a busy, complicated double roundabout and having a STREAM of people beeping at me.. traumatised me to the point i spent the next 15 years avoiding driving around that roundabout (yes really).. or panicking the couple of times i did have to use it and repeating my mistake.

Just let yourself calm down, chalk it up to experience and understand something silly like that will probably happen again, but not to worry and keeping going!!

We’ve all done it op as a new driver!

I stalled in the middle of a roundabout and held all the traffic up - the giant articulated lorry that nearly ran into me was driven by a woman so I felt doubly embarrassed and stressed!

It’s awful but - you got yourself out of it - so just chalk it up to experience.

It takes a while for driving to feel natural even after you pass your test. I bet it was a good 6 months before I wasn’t a sweaty mess at the end of the journey but I love a drive now so keep at it

Youre not the first to roll backwards on a hill and you wont be the last. Could have been much worse.
Take a deep breath and relax! And keep at it! Practise makes perfect.

Every single driver - every one of us - has done similar.

Chalk it up to experience and remind yourself you did not crash and you coped and drove home.

You didn’t cause a crash, so take deep breaths and have a glass of something.
Tomorrow get back on the horsepower and go for a potter when the morning traffic has calmed down. No need to go far, just have a bimble about and get comfy being in the car.
Always remember that some people instantly forget they ever learned to drive and were ever nervous drivers - they’ve always been perfect at driving, obviously.
We have all done stuff like this and during the recent couple of weeks in fact I’ve had a couple of corkers - and I speak as someone who has been driving since the early 2000’s and was a blues and two’s driver for over a decade 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
Onwards and upwards!