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Original poster

Most grim 'yuck' thing that's happened to you

208 replies

Coldemort · 05/09/2020 16:52

Inspired by a response in another thread...

I live in a block of flats next to a canal. One warm, dusky, summer evening I took my rubbish to the bin store and..... stood on a decomposing rat. It was a monster, I was wearing fabric ballet flats and it went with an almighty pop. I was stood on decomposing rat guts up to my (bare) ankles. I couldnt even take my shoes off as there was broken glass on the floor so had to shuffle back home with rat gut shoes

Anyone care to beat that?

OP posts:
BrandyandBabycham · 06/09/2020 00:03

DD walked out of the sea with a large human poo on her frisbee!! Put me right off going to that beach for quite some time!!
Came down barefoot in the middle of the night & stepped in something cold & sticky - our dog had pooed in the dining room! Nice!

Vinotinto78 · 06/09/2020 00:13

In my first job there was a grim smell in the sales office which over a period of weeks, became intolerable. Walked in one morning to witness the pest control guy pulling a decomposing fox from under the floorboards. Revolting.

amieejust · 06/09/2020 00:18
  • Travelling at 70mph on the M1 and the car in front slung a bag of vomit out the window, it hit our windscreen.
  • An overhead seagull shat in my open mouth and on my lips as it flew over.
amieejust · 06/09/2020 00:20

A colleague found a dead fox in his bed, which had been put there as a sick prank by his fellow rugby friends.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/09/2020 00:29

Ddog2, now sadly deceased, once found half a dead seal, wedged into the rocks at the beach. It was very dead - runny and green. First of all she tried to pull it out and bring it home with her, and then, when she couldn’t get it unstuck, she rolled in it.

I have never smelt anything so vile as she did, when dh brought her home - and his first suggestion was that he would take her through the house, upstairs, through our bedroom and into the en suite, so he could shower her in there - I refused this suggestion, point blank, and insisted that we washed her in the garden. We shampooed her and hosed her off twice, and she still smelt fairly of rotting seal, so she did get another shower upstairs - because she was clean enough to go through the house.

We had run out of dog shampoo by this point, so we ended up using Lynx - she smelled like a teenage boy, but that was better than rotten seal.

CoronaIsShit · 06/09/2020 00:30

Bloody hell, these are so traumatic, why on earth did I read this thread!

I’ve stood on a slug, had baby puke in my mouth and bra full of it, had a toddler DC have explosive diarrhoea while sharing a bath, lots of bird and mouse corpses in the garden from the damn cat but probably my worst was the dead bird which fell on my head when I opened an umbrella which had been by the back door for a while. No idea how it got in there, can only assume the cat hid it in there to give me heart attack!

artyandtarty · 06/09/2020 00:43

Was living abroad in a hot country. Made myself a hot chocolate. Whilst stirring contents of chocolate in milk saw some little floaters .... thought nothing of it & kept stirring ... thought maybe just some cocoa beans or something ( hot Chocolate tub was foreign brand in foreign writing so could have contained bits I was unaware of) sat down & proceeded to drink hot chocolate & thought these crunchy bits are going to need a spoon to spoon out & eat... got spoon sat gulping & crunching like eating coco pops or something... after a few mouthfuls something didn't sit right so I went & opened the tub of hot chocolate powder & to my absolute horror there was loads of moving little beetle things ... I'm suspecting baby cockroaches & I had disturbed the nest.

Vom BlushBiscuitConfused

Had to puke after I was so traumatised. Took me years to have another hot Chocolate after that.

bingowingsmcgee · 06/09/2020 00:52

Reading this thread has been appalling and compelling at the same time. I co slept with my firstborn til she was three, and when she was two, she sat bolt upright in the middle of the night and vomited onto my face. That was bad. But I'd take it over wanking off a cat, to be fair

Harveywoo · 06/09/2020 00:56

Kids and I once had ourselves a cute little teddy bears bedtime snack party. I picked up what I believed to be a little dropped raisin from the blanket, and took a bite. Reader, it was a tiny cat poo nugget. Smelt it before the taste kicked in, brain couldn’t make sense of what was happening at all. Once I twigged it, hysterics and frantic tooth brushing followed Envy

Krazynights34 · 06/09/2020 01:02

I have stories but right now I feel the need to vomit 🤢

Geppili · 06/09/2020 01:05

I need to know about how you accidentally wank a cat off.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 06/09/2020 01:24

Vomiting whilst giving a new boyfriend a BJ then shitting myself. I hadn't been feeling completely well all day but I suddenly wasn't feeling well at all. New boyfriend was fine at the time but split up with me a few days later.

reticule · 06/09/2020 01:25

From the back seat of a car on a dual carriageway, I deftly caught cat vomit in a dog poo bag as it exited the cat. Sadly, I didn't catch the poo that simultaneously exited the cat.

elliejjtiny · 06/09/2020 01:43

One of my cats killed a rabbit and a pigeon, ate both their heads and left the rest under the dining table. DH was away so I couldn't beg him to clear it up so I had to do it, watched by then 9 year old ds2 who was laughing hysterically. 3 years later he still says me squealing and retching while trying to manoeuvre half a rabbit and half a pigeon into a big bag without touching them is the funniest thing he has ever seen.

Lifeisforalimitedperiodonly · 06/09/2020 02:20

OMG this is the most stomach turning thread I have ever read on MN. It is strangely compulsive - I can't stop reading.
I'm going to bed now as it's made me feel so yuk! LOL

idlevice · 06/09/2020 02:28

I was watering the plants outside earlier this year & thought a snail was blocking the watering can spout as often happens. I pulled it out from the end of the spout as it seemed quite small. It was sort of coming to bits as I pulled so I thought oh bugger, I must have crushed it. It kept coming out and it slowly dawned on me that it was not a snail but a drowned rat I was determinedly tugging out of the spout Shock

Decades ago I was in a long-distance relationship & only saw my boyfriend once a month. One weekend I was staying at his and woke up in the night needing a tissue. Put my hand in the drawer of the bedside table to find one but felt something cold and squishy. I turned on the light to be confronted with a drawer full of old sick... my BF had been drunk one night & just vommed in the drawer, forgetting about it for weeks. Obviously it was on my side of the bed & all over my stuff. Still feel annoyed with him now!

FlippinNoah · 06/09/2020 02:36

Teaching a Y3 class years ago, it was 'carpet time' when one girl put her hand up and said, "Miss I think I'm going to be..." and promptly threw up into her hands.

She then flicked her hands to get the sick off - promptly covering all the children around her in sick.

RachyAnn34 · 06/09/2020 03:42

Some of these are horrendous.
I used to work in a hairdressers and there was some illegal immigrants living outside the back, I know this as they were later arrested. But the one day I went outside to take the rubbish out and trod in poo, it wasn't dog poo but human poo. it went all up my trouser leg. that wasn't a happy day.

Torvean32 · 06/09/2020 04:00

This is more a thing i saw.

So i worked in a ward that deals with surgical emergencies. We had an elderly man admitted with abdominal pain.
He had a twist in his large intestine, therefore he could not empty hus bowels. Well what can't go down eventually comes up. So put down a naso-gastric tube and aspirated some of the contents to show the dr.

The man's wife was sitting on his bed with a very posh handbag next to her. As you probably guessed the doctor knocked the sick bowl over and contents went into her bag......

She actually took it very well.

I also have a story of poo being mis- identified as a bit of Ferrero Roche Grin

ALongHardWinter · 06/09/2020 04:28

These are disgusting hilarious!

NeedToKnow101 · 06/09/2020 07:41

@maggienolia

We took Cat 2 to the vet to have her teeth rescaled. Vet was bending over cat, attacking a tough piece of scale..it flew off and landed in his mouth. I have never seen him hit the sink so fast.
That made me retch.
BastardMozzies · 06/09/2020 08:20

I had mango fly larvae eating their way out of me.

NeedToKnow101 · 06/09/2020 08:24

I'm the cat wanker come to complete the story after reading the rest of the thread, although I feel quite nauseous and had to check my kettle for slugsEnvy.

It wasn't very eventful really. I was tickling my cat's tummy, as you do. Suddenly all four of his limbs gripped my arm and he started convulsing. I thought he was having a seizure but then he went all relaxed and floppy and I saw that my arm had some wet sticky stuff on it. It was only a bit though, thank the good Lord.

Heatherjayne1972 · 06/09/2020 08:40

No where near as yuk as most of these stories but
Swimming lesson aged about 9
A human poo is found floating in the water
Que a lot of eww and yuks from the kids
Lifeguard fishes if our with a net and takes it away
We carry on with the lesson and it’s never mentioned again

Would be a very different story today

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