ADs skipping to school - and that's only the parents

[RealityExistsInTheHumanMind]

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Link to previous thread bum tomatoes

That care home post is so so sad.

Local paper has posted an article about a prize winning "photo of the year" featuring family with new baby holding it to the window forthe other half of the family to gaze at. Heart-breaking more than the "heart warming" description they used.
Not as heart breaking as vulnerable people being left to rot, lonely, without human contact and understimulated, but still stolen time that can't be replaced none the less.

@BogRollBOGOF before I found you lovely lot there was a local photographer on Facebook doing a
Lockdown Memories photoshoot through your windows and creating an album for the town. I got tagged in via my Bake Club. Think I pissed a few people off when I retorted 'why on earth would I want a memento of this shit?' Shortly after I realised I was an AD and found my people.

There was a heartbreaking article in the Guardian today about care homes. What we're doing to these people we're supposed to be protecting is so awful.

I realised after managing to visit my gran that if things continue as at present she'll never meet her great-grandchild (due at the end of the year; gran has dementia and is classed as "end of life" but probably has another 6 months or so). But I can't take a baby to see gran and not let her hold it; it would be worse than not going to see her. And though the home have bent over backwards to find whatever leeway they can so we can see gran, they're not going to be able to allow her to hold the baby. How is this protecting her?

@110APiccadilly

There was a heartbreaking article in the Guardian today about care homes. What we're doing to these people we're supposed to be protecting is so awful.

I realised after managing to visit my gran that if things continue as at present she'll never meet her great-grandchild (due at the end of the year; gran has dementia and is classed as "end of life" but probably has another 6 months or so). But I can't take a baby to see gran and not let her hold it; it would be worse than not going to see her. And though the home have bent over backwards to find whatever leeway they can so we can see gran, they're not going to be able to allow her to hold the baby. How is this protecting her?

A year ago it would have been abuse and care homes like that shut down and remanaged.

If you asked anyone who was of sound mind if they would
a) live the last year of your life, being cared for by care workers and not seeing/hugging/holding your family - or only seeing them through a window.
OR
b) Have the last year of of your life cut down to 1 month but see/hug/hold family daily

Would anyone really choose 'a'

Having said that many in care home only get visitors every month or so if that.

@RealityExistsInTheHumanMind

If you asked anyone who was of sound mind if they would a) live the last year of your life, being cared for by care workers and not seeing/hugging/holding your family - or only seeing them through a window. OR b) Have the last year of of your life cut down to 1 month but see/hug/hold family daily

Would anyone really choose 'a'

Having said that many in care home only get visitors every month or so if that.

One of the reasons my gran's home are bending over backwards to let us (and other families) have as much visiting as they can within the rules is that, the manager told us, every single resident who was of sound enough mind to express an opinion told her they'd rather have "b".

But of course if the home actually break the rules they risk being closed.

It is such an awful position for caring staff to be put onto as well as the residents.

Plus I'm assuming logistical problems with entertainments and day cenres to pass the time productively.

The care home situation is hideous and makes it even harder than normal to persuade someone to accept even a week of respite care.

I heard someone say at the weekend "Oh the no visiting rules won't affect people with dementia as they don't know if they are visited or not". Whilst there MAY be an element of truth in that for some, its a heartless way to treat people. Or is it just me? I've been accused of being heartless and thoughtless and self-centred by family members this week because I don't think the current rise in infections is just the fault of young people doing what young people are programmed to do. I'm so ground down with it all that I just feel like a robot that needs to churn out the latest party line.

@Blobby10 I guess that may apply to some people with advanced dementia it will not apply to very many. For most a lack of social interaction will hasten their decline and many will just shut down and give up on life. Many will also still have an elderly spouse/partner who needs to see them.

Morning all. Haven't posted in a while but have been reading.

The whole care home thing is so awful. No one would choose a) as described above.

We're having our new covid roadmap coming out tomo. I might actually read the news and see what's what. Some sort of cloud coding relating to infections per 100,000 I think, stuff about localise lockdowns, travel outside the country, spectators being allowed to watch sports outdoors and lord knows what else.

I am just so tired of this. What if there is never a vaccine, is this it? Is this how we will have to live for the rest of our lives?

On a brighter note I am off work this week and am currently lazing in bed. Going away with my family this weekend. More than 6 people, more than three households and my sister is home from abroad. We will be on a murderous rampage.

Dementia does not necessarily work like that - many dementia patients have emotional memory well past having intellectual memory - so if they have a visit, their emotional state will be improved in the following days/hours, even if they couldn't tell you anything about the visit.

In addition, do pleasurable things only count as worthwhile if one remembers them?

The care homes thing is so sad & frustrating. And my worry is that regular testing for care home workers is going to sink under the weight of the bloody Worried Well trying to get their kids tested for a snotty nose.

Anyway my 91 year old grandmother is in hospital in Ireland at the moment. She has dementia and is slowly dying of about eight different underlying conditions. No one can visit her in hospital though because of the Covid rules & she can't cope with mobile phones or anything like that, so we're completely reliant on the hospital to update her family...and we know from long experience that the hospital is a bit shit if you can't physically collar people & pester in person (the Irish health service is over-stretched at the best of times). To be fair I actually get the no visits rule in these circumstances, given how vulnerable hospitals are, but it is hard. We're lucky that she's cared for at home by an uncle rather than sealed up in an old folks home.

On a lighter note, I was amused to hear our resident dementor parent dementoring away at drop off this morning, about how she didn't feel "people were taking Covid seriously enough"....to a completely un-distanced gaggle of other parents, all bunched together blocking the bloody pavement so that anyone who actually wanted to bloody well SD had to go out on the road. And she's like that every morning. Honestly its just mad.

Going away with my family this weekend. More than 6 people, more than three households and my sister is home from abroad. We will be on a murderous rampage.

We’ll also be breaking the 6 person law this weekend coming with an early child friendly dinner party. Actually we’re not keen on going and I suggested to DH that we could use the 6 person law as an out but apparently not! I’m not honestly sure it would even occurred to the people who asked us that they are asking us to break the law either (not that we care). I feel like the world is now split between those taking very seriously and those who are just completely unbothered. The first group is so angry at the second group but the second group just doesn’t care / is oblivious to how exactly two households totalling 8 is any more risky than town households totalling 6, or indeed 6 households totalling 6.

I ran out yesterday to the greengrocers. Had forgotten my mask so I grabbed my youngest’s top out of my bag and held it over my face. The woman at the checkout laughed and told me to take it off. For the first few seconds it felt like such a rebellion and then I realised it felt totally normal and that no one else in the small shop cared. Another woman came in after me with no mask on. No lanyard. No one batted an eyelid.

I love where I live. I’ve never seen a single person asked why they’re not wearing a mask. We have a one way system around the village that no one respects. It’s great.

@RealityExistsInTheHumanMind

If you asked anyone who was of sound mind if they would a) live the last year of your life, being cared for by care workers and not seeing/hugging/holding your family - or only seeing them through a window. OR b) Have the last year of of your life cut down to 1 month but see/hug/hold family daily

Would anyone really choose 'a'

Having said that many in care home only get visitors every month or so if that.

My fil was in a care home from May until he died on Boxing day last year. (Crap Christmas last year, this year isn't looking any better) Previous to that he'd been in and out of hospital for a few years. Mum would visit him as much as possible; as a family we all rallied round to get her there at least 3 times a week, and it was hard but we did it willingly. Dad didn't know what day it was most of the time but he always knew mum would be there Tuesday, Thursday and every weekend day, God knows how. We were quite surprised by how many residents in the home had hardly any visitors at all, very sad. We were saying the other day how relieved we were that dad had died before all this, even mum, as not seeing mum would have killed him and it wouldn't do mum any good either.

This is the point again that it's hit me - was just ready to enjoy DH being out of the house and I get an email from the kids' dancing... she's decided that this is all the final straw and she's stopping running it.

There's nowhere else that would have the patience and will to support DD2's dyspraxia in dancing in their age group (this lady took the time to research her difficulties and adapt her teaching for her and she loves it) - we got managed/bullied out of one of the other dancing schools when DD2's difficulties became evident and she just so loves to dance but all the other places round here are highly competitive exam oriented classes - and the lady who ran it is soooo lovely - she's actually one of the last people I saw before lockdown as she came all the way out to bring the girls a bar of chocolate as birthday presents bless her.

It's set me off crying. I probably needed it.

My DF has spoken to us, his family about the care home situation and he’s a very fit 80 something and he said at the start of this he would choose (b). He would rather be dead than never see his GC( not us his children, just the GC). He isn’t in a care home. My heart is breaking for the people affected
One of my DD’s went back to dancing on Saturday, she had a great time. Thrilled to be at sixth form. They are both out now, enjoying having the house to myself, it’s bliss.
But am worried about local lockdown even though my county isn’t mentioned, but the University is going back soon.

DominaShantotto - that's unfortunate is she likley to reconsider when things are more normal or is that it?

I got bullied out a dance group as a child for similar reasons and we were really lucky to find a dance teacher who had a very relaxed non exam approach and they all happily went twice a week.

Then we moved here and there was nothing similar but we were near decent swimming lessons and that helped them as well.

The care home situation is awful but managers must be under huge pressure to follow guidlines, avoid covid and manage their residents needs to see family - and on top low paid staff who probably at the minute not able to get tests when needed.

What a sad attitude towards people who have dementia. I suppose it's more important than ever to raise awareness about the condition.

Am having an enforced lunch break as am having to WFH today. The internet keeps breaking & I've lost a piece of work from this morning.

Several people off today as their kids have colds & their schools won't have them back without a negative test result. Some of them have said their kids aren't that ill, & they're going to have to attempt more home schooling. Morale is getting lower by the day. Usually we'd fix it with a night out, but that's off the menu.

The recommendations are that kids do not stay off school for colds even now. There has to be the temperature or 'new' regular' cough. So not a cough from asthma or from a nasal drip. It really is crackers.

I was a keen and untalented dancer with stupidly tight hamstrings. Fortunately my mercenary dance teacher liked the extortionate fees too much to bully me and my inept cronies out.

Being inept, I was the oldest in my ballet class, so when we had to where white catsuits that proved to be a bit see through under stage lighting, we were permitted to wear knickers underneath. Being a little older, knickers did not solve my problems, so DM bought me a body to go underneath. Shortly before going on stage, one of those mums who was the right hand (wo)man of the dance teacher pulled me aside, told me I couldn't wear the body and we had a good arguement with me refusing to go on stage without. I won
That mum wasthe mum of the girl who 5 years later went on to be Lolly with her unecessary cover of "Hey Mickey"

Bogroll, ADing against stupid roolz since the 90s

The occasional Delores Umbridge "hem hem"does not a persistant cough make.

I'm glad our first back to school colds are done. I've worked really hard at keeping our immune systems stimulated over the last 6m by doing as little housework as I can get away with

@RealityExistsInTheHumanMind from what I can gather the children in question have got coughs from their colds, & although it's quite likely not covid there's only one way to rule it out. But I agree, it's crackers. If it was a different, less common symptom, such as your tongue going purple we wouldn't be in such a mess (although some confusion might occur after consuming too much blackcurrent squash).