ADs skipping to school - and that's only the parents

[RealityExistsInTheHumanMind]

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Link to previous thread bum tomatoes

It’s completely shit.
I’m trying to keep on a level keel but it feels like someone has pulled the bung out. I’m in the very vulnerable category because of severe heart problems and have really tried hard to be practical and optimistic to now.

@Strawberrycreamsundae

*I felt quite panicky yesterday, but when I actually sat down and thought about it, I realised, for my h and me, actually it means little change, being the childless old farts that we are. I think the whole thing is totally bonkers (in the way it is being handled), so I have decided to ignore it as much as I can, otherwise I think I will sink into a deep depression. I am going to settle down for winter, make chutneys and jellies, order logs and good books for my kindle. However, I live in hope that, at some point, the larger part of the population will rise up and shout 'fuck off' in the government's face. I am heartened by remembering the galvanising effect the poll tax riots had on Maggie Thatcher and her government. They are only managing to behave in such a contrary way because we are letting them*

This resonates so much for me.

It’s just hit me that my 94 year old mother is going into a nursing home. The rules are a single nominated family member can visit once every month for 30 minutes, no one else, so effectively I am never going to see her again.
My father’s very likely to follow her, he’s terminally ill, same rules.
Just who thinks this is kind or the best way to remember the last weeks of someone’s life.
My estranged manipulative sister has already informed the home she will be the one visiting, effectively meaning none of the rest of the family will be allowed to visit.
😡🤬

That is abhorrant How inhumane to drag out an existence in isolation. Murderers get better treatment than that in prisons.

I have sucessfully donned my Guiding uniform.
We're in the park.
Unit split into two bubbles each week that don't interract with their allocated leaders.
Social distancing within the bubble...
We're not allowed to sing or shout because aerosol.

Yep, we are not supposed to shout to the 7-10 yo about 25m away down the far end of a socially distanced line halfway across the park...
And Snowy Owl's hearing is worse than mine...

It's been fun though. Lots of silly races and a good giggle (and not just because Snowy Owl and I tried to work out what everyone was saying)

Glad guiding's going ahead @BogRollBOGOF - scouting had fucking better be after I sewed all the sodding badges on (having shit that transfers over from Beavers to Cubs and needs to be sewn on twice is bloody cruel and unusual punishment).

The care homes are in a fucking appalling situation - are these human beings, or some kind of museum artefact to be kept pristine and encased away from the world for as long as possible?! I did a placement in a care home at the start of the year and I doubt lots of my favourites are still there now, and those that are, I expect have declined much more rapidly than they would have done with their family popping in and the visitors to the place providing stimulation and enrichment. It does haunt me.

@Strawberrycreamsundae This may not help, but if your dad is classed as "end of life" care, then the rules have some more flexibility. I know this because my gran is in this category and is allowed more visits/visitors for longer because of it. Don't know if that helps much if the care home insist on being over-zealous, but if they tell you it's against the rules that's just not true.

I had my own small business offering pet therapy in care homes before this happened, obviously this has gone now for the foreseeable future if not for good. I loved the work but far, far worse is knowing that all the lovely residents I got so attached to are effectively imprisoned in their care homes.
The staff are amazing, but I will never forget the lady with dementia who asked me just to sit and hold her hand and said “I’m frightened. Where are my family, I want my family” Next time I visited she had passed away and I can only feel glad that she didn’t live through this time.

It is cruelty to deny visits to these frail, vulnerable people and they need human contact, we need to find a way to do this as they cannot wait for a vaccine.

The care home situation is crap

Most people that work in care homes are really caring and want to do the right thing, however they have their own lives to lead, have relatives they live with and often their relatives work in factories or customer facing jobs where they are more vulnerable to mixing with infectious people.

Relatives that want to see their parents etc are prepared, if not to isolate, not to visit when they have knowingly been in a risky place.

It is important to protect the residents but I doubt if anyone wants the life they have in there - and then this is compounded by not seeing the people that really care about them.

It is just wrong wrong wrong. And some thought needs to be put into this going forward. (For me I'd just say, inform the rels of the risk and let them make the decision to visit or not.

@Evenstar

I had my own small business offering pet therapy in care homes before this happened, obviously this has gone now for the foreseeable future if not for good. I loved the work but far, far worse is knowing that all the lovely residents I got so attached to are effectively imprisoned in their care homes. The staff are amazing, but I will never forget the lady with dementia who asked me just to sit and hold her hand and said “I’m frightened. Where are my family, I want my family” Next time I visited she had passed away and I can only feel glad that she didn’t live through this time.

It is cruelty to deny visits to these frail, vulnerable people and they need human contact, we need to find a way to do this as they cannot wait for a vaccine.

So sad.

Makes me angry.

Inhumane. 😡😡😡

Evenstar, I hope you can restore your business in the not-so-distant future. What a wonderful, life enhancing service.

@Evenstar

I double double agree. It's cruel, it's inhumane and is't just bloody wrong wrong wrong.

Ask anyone if they want to end up in a care home and they will so NO. I don't know anyone, and I doubt there are many, that say that is their long term aim.

The ideal for most is to go to bed at night and not wake up.

That is not to say that everyone in a care home is unhappy or that they all want to die and I know there are some that go from a life of loneliness to a more sociable life and love it,

BUT pre 'care home' I doubt anyone want to sped their final years this way.

It can be bearable and even positive for some with plenty of family interaction but ffs sake, confined with no family visits.

I have always argued against the memes that said prisons were better than car home but I don't think that is true any more.

We, a supposedly 'civilised' society, are treating our vulnerable people worse than lab rats - and it stinks.

As I said upthread, my brother lives in a care home. He had an accident which left him paralysed.
They tried spinal surgery but it made no difference. He went from the hospital, to a specialist spinal recovery unit and finally to this home, before he is able to move on to a kind of semi independent living.
Its a relatively large home with one "wing" given over to people like my brother and the other for the elderly/frail they have a few residents there with dementia too.
He is utterly traumatised by what has happened in the home. That back at the peak they had people dying alone and confused with no family, that people who need contact so badly are being denied it. It is inhumane.
They do a lot of activities there to help people socialise, but not everyone is able to join in all the time and Because the restrictions on visits are so tight he pops and sees people if he hasn't seen them in a day or two to check they're OK and ask if they need anything.
My aunt in Greece was saying that holding on to life at all costs is almost cruel, that when you are ready to go you are ready to go. That the letting someone die is sometimes the kindest thing and not doing that is just to spare the relatives pain for a little longer. She says that her death should be for her, about her, not anyone else.

My grandparents both died in a care home not long before all this happened. I'm so glad they went when they did. The home itself was lovely as were the staff but it was an awful end. I hope I never have to see the same thing happen to my parents. I'm planning to do myself in once I get something incurable if not before especially if I run out of money/can't work.

We have frogs in our garden. I find them when I mow the grass. They're lovely. DS is fascinated by them.

My mum is thinking of banning us from visiting. She's being encouraged by her best friend who was there when we were the other day. Now that we're 'out in the world' the risk is too high. I'll go with what she wants but I'm not wearing a mask to visit or taking DS if he can't play with my dad. I'm more frightened that she'll stop contact and then the cancer will come back sooner anyway (it's incurable so won't go) and I'll have missed the last few years. We haven't hugged since last year as it is. In theory she could/should get 5 years from treatment but we've already had months. She's basically missed all of DS's 5th year as has my dad and I feel very sad about it all. However, I've been so happy this week in work and DS is almost enjoying school. I don't want that to stop either.

Wondering if I can attach a picture of the little frog I found a few weeks ago.

@Strawberrycreamsundae, 30 minutes once a month? That is absolutely terrible. I am sure prisoners are getting better visiting rights. Also it doesn't make sense - does the virus know how long you've been there and only become infectious after 30 mins?
We could look back to the great plague, when infected people were sealed into their homes to die, and say 'how inhumane, but of course we know better now, so that would not happen these days', well, cruelty is alive and well in the 21st century, isn't it? It comes in a different form, but it's still there. And one can have a pretty good guess at the type of people who were happy to seal the terminally ill into their houses for 'the greater good'.

Ribbit ribbit ! Lovely frog!

The care home situation is heartbreaking. All we seem to hear is about it spreading and how to stop it spreading but not much about the cost to people.

For a while I kept hearing on the radio about how when we come to look at our response to CV that care homes will the main area that will shame us.. but that’s looking just at the deaths toll.. the bit that SHOULD shame us is that the cure was worse.

On the “Rule of 6“ thing I find it just mind boggling the way that of course all 4 nations yet again have to have different rules. They just can’t bring themselves to say they agree with someone of the different political persuasion so they tweak the rules just to make a stupid point.

The Scottish rule of not counting under 12s in the Rule of 6 on the face of it seems great (and is, if I’m honest, the approach I’m probably going to take in general) so that got me thinking how much better Sturgeon is handling it. Then I remembered that in Scotland children from 5 and above have to wear face masks!! So what is it, is a 5 year old dangerous or not? Their position is completely contradictory.

Well, I was liking the divergence until this morning, when Wales have joined in with the no more than 6 thing. My best friend lives in a 6 person household and we'd planned to bubble.

I'm getting real feelings of "I can't do this any more." I've never felt this hopeless.

There's some interesting detail in this Guardian article about the different effects of lockdown on people of different social classes. www.theguardian.com/world/2020/sep/11/covid-lockdown-rules-more-divisive-than-brexit-survey-finds

Thank you very much for your support, I really appreciate it.
💐 & 🍷x

@110APiccadilly plus ca change. Highlights to me those who “HATE” non mask-wearers are fearful for themselves - No altruism present.

I fear suicide rates will rocket this winter. Before we had hope for this too shall pass, but now just increasing bollocks.

It’s horrible and wintry here with strong winds (40+ knots) so this little fella will probably top himself by lunch.

@110APiccadilly, if I read it rightly, you are allowed more than 6 if the other family is in your bubble. So you should be ok.

My dad in wales has just said he’s got to wear a face mask from Monday.

I think Wales are also doing under 11s don't count as well, don't know if that helps?

Gutted about the face masks in Welsh shops. I was planning to go there to shop for Christmas mask free dammit. I'll just do what I can online instead. At least it saves on petrol.

@Strawberrycreamsundae that’s just awful. What kind of world are we living in? 💐