Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Can you get pregnant using a condom no ejaculation at all.

59 replies

Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 09:26

Hi all,

Bit of a random backstory and please no judging. Basically I have a regular sexual partner of whom I do not use protection with. Last month my dates are as followed

Lmp 7th July to 11th july

Sex unprotected, 13th, 23rd, 25th. All of which were unprotected with ejaculation.

I then had a shameful experience where I had another sexual partner on the 28th. We used a condom and basically I wasn't feeling right about the incident so I asked him to stop after a minute or two (HE DID NOT EJACULATE AT ALL)

On the 6th August I got a positive pregnancy test.

Yesterday I had a scan which dated me as 6+0 weeks gestational age

Is this possible to be this guys or my regular sexual partner. Please no judgement I'm just very confused.

OP posts:
rayoflightboy · 27/08/2020 16:01

Well then you have a choice to make.

wherestheotherone · 27/08/2020 16:01

It's likely to be your regular partner. There is an extremely small chance it was the other guy as per come can carry sperm but the chances under your circumstances are extremely minimal.

PotteringAlong · 27/08/2020 16:03

It’s unlikely to be the one off guy but not impossible so, realistically, you are going to need a DNA test to know for sure.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1st trimester Families General pregnancy Women's health
Spied · 27/08/2020 16:06

Agree it's so much more likely to be regular guys.
There's very little you can do really but ruminating and making yourself an anxious mess won't change anything so be kind to yourself.
If I'd actively been trying to get pregnant for years and having lots of sex with reg guy and never got pregnant I'd be more worried if I suddenly got pregnant after this encounter with this other guy. Hence my question.

BluePaintSample · 27/08/2020 16:08

Sperm can live up to 7 days according to the NHS, so you are far more likely to be pregnant from ejaculated sperm on 25th.

If memory serves on this matter re calculations,

your LMP was 7th july
so for a 28/29 day cycle your ovulation window was 21st to 22nd ish. As you had sex on 13th, 23rd and 25th it is far more likely that the scan dates are out.

I know exactly when I ovulated to get pregnant with Ds2 as I was using ovulation strips, they dated me 3 days out, despite me telling them that I knew when I conceived him they stuck to those dates. Sounds pedantic but I was having an ELCS.

Your next scan may well change the dates again when you get to your 12 week one.

TenShortStories · 27/08/2020 16:19

The chance of it being the second guy is miniscule.

With the first guy, you had unprotected sex around the period when you ovulate - the chances are overwhelmingly that it was him.

The dates of conception that the EPU gave you are their best guess based on working backwards from the scan. Don't forget that the scan itself could be out by 14 days in either direction, it's notoriously difficult to be accurate.

Original poster
Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 16:22

@bluepaintsample if got pregnant on the 25th then the scan is out by 3/4 days which I know is possible and theyy did say at this stage its so hard to get an accurate measurement because essentially they are measuring a blob.
@spied no this was like only the past 4 months of not being careful and it wasnt like every day it was once a week if that lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 16:24

@TenShortStories that's what I keep thinking to myself like the chance of that happening are next to none and he definitely didn't cum at all. I think my head is definitely playing games with me I kind of wish I didn't have the early scan now I think the dates being off messed with my head more.

OP posts:
RogueV · 27/08/2020 16:26

It’s definitely the regular guys!

Original poster
Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 16:32

@rogueV you think? Even based on scan dates etc?

I really appreciate everyone who has commented today you've really helped me ease my anxiety

OP posts:
AmelieTaylor · 27/08/2020 16:33

The chances of it being the condom guy are about the same chance of me winning the Euro Lottery - so I'd really stop thinking about it

How has your regular partner taken both bits of news?

Now you're actually pregnant how are you feeling about it?

xtinak · 27/08/2020 16:42

If it helps, I am totally certain that NHS scan dating was consistently out by a week because I had good data on when I ovulated plus some other stuff. The scans are not that accurate. Sperm survival times vary, ovulation varies, implantation varies. It will almost definitely be your regular partner.

Original poster
Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 16:43

@AmelieTaylor thank you for being so reassuring and so kind.

My regular partner has taken it really well he's over the moon at the thought of being a dad again and actually understands that we wernt actually in an official relationship as such when the 2nd guy happened lol so he's like really trying to calm me down because I've been going crazy I just hope the dates at my next scan even out a bit.

I'm delighted at the thought of another little one but I think becuas of this nagging voice in the back of my head I've found it hard to process and be too happy about it

OP posts:
Original poster
Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 16:45

@xtinak if we're saying it theoretically it makes sense it would mean I ovulated around day 19-22 or fertilisation was slower etc I know in my head it all makes sense but the little voice that says it doesn't make sense can be very overpowering lol

OP posts:
Austereorange · 27/08/2020 16:51

How many days in your usual cycle? 28?

user32723 · 27/08/2020 16:51

It takes 6 to 10 days for the fertilized egg to implant, which is why it's impossible to tell the conception date from a dating scan. It's the first guys.

Arthersleep · 27/08/2020 16:59

My scan date was also out by 3-4 days (I knew the exact dates due to ovulation tests). It's very common. They often don't bother adjusting due date if it's a couple of days out. It sounds to me like you are obsessing/paranoid. The only way that you will calm down over this is to break the cycle of worrying by switching off and doing something else. When you've had a break from thinking about it you will feel less worried and it will be far less of an issue. Thinking it over and over in such detail will not help you right now. You are twisting yourself up into knots. Tell both 'partners'. Say that you are 99% certain that it is A's, but that you will have a DNA test as soon as it's born just so that it will be 100% and there will be no room for any uncertainty. Then forget about it until then.

Arthersleep · 27/08/2020 17:04

Actually, you have a private DNA test from 7 weeks pregnant!

dnacentre.co.uk/paternity-testing/non-invasive-prenatal-paternity-testing/

AmelieTaylor · 27/08/2020 17:12

I'm glad everything is ok with your regular partner. Do you both want to be 'in a relationship' now?

You say 'another' little one? Do you already have DC?

I'm glad you had the confidence to tell condom guy to stop when you wanted him to - it's not an easy thing to do! But you did & he did, regular partner knows about it and you were both ok about getting pregnant, so can I suggest that you now sort out what you want relationship wise and then crack on with getting excited about your baby!!! 🌷

chergar · 27/08/2020 17:14

Scan dates can be out by a week or so. I calculated my due date based on dates of lmp and conception date (I knew the date I conceived as I only had sex once in my cycle that month) but my scan dated me as exactly a week later.

The only way you will know for sure is to have a DNA test.

Original poster
Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 17:21

@Arthersleep I cannot afford those early dna tests unfortunately that would be idea but deffo not an option lol

@AmelieTaylor yes we have sorted the relationship side of things now and yes we already have an older child together.

@Austereorange myy cycles are pretty much 28/29 days most months the most it has been is 30 in the past and the least is 27

OP posts:
Arthersleep · 27/08/2020 17:29

Have just seen the costs! Ridiculous! I underwent private prenatal blood tests to screen out genetic conditions (they also told me the babies sex) and it cost a fraction of that!

SleepingStandingUp · 27/08/2020 17:33

@Bubblemum94

Update so the early pregnancy unit have basically said if I'm 6 weeks gestational age then I would have conceived around 28th 29th or 30th July... Help...

Now freaking out.

Well alarm can last inside you for a few days and measurements can be out so honestly think there's nothing to suggest it's the guy with the condom'who didn't ejaculate Vs the guy you're TTC with. I suspect guilt over the infidelity is screwing with you
Original poster
Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 17:55

@SleepingStandingUp that's exactly what I think it is just guilt and shame really. I've never been in this position before nor do I want to be in it again I go for another scan in 2 weeks ish so I think the dates should add up by then

OP posts:
Original poster
Bubblemum94 · 27/08/2020 18:25

I really do think in my head theres probably more chance of me being hit by a bus than it being this 2nd guys but there's always that little nagging feeling isn't there

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread