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Original poster

Grandparents holding baby grandchildren.

28 replies

D2016 · 26/08/2020 10:13

My husband's granddaughter is nearly four months old but he is not yet allowed to hold her due to the mother's fears of Cofid 19. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
LouiseNW · 26/08/2020 10:15

Not knowing your particular family circumstances, difficult to come to a conclusion.

Kbr22 · 26/08/2020 10:18

My nephew had his first DD in May. When she had her first injections their GP said it would be OK for the GP’s to have a cuddle as long as they had been following the guidance.

My nephew and his wife were happy with that and they have now been babysitting. Obviously Aunts and Uncles are not being allowed cuddles yet but we have met up outside!

Frazzled2207 · 26/08/2020 10:20

Define “not yet allowed”.
Seems a bit harsh to me. Perhaps he could ask what the criteria is for holding his grandchild.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Frazzled2207 · 26/08/2020 10:23

Ps I do think technically this is still NOT allowed unless it falls under family bubble rules.
However I think cuddling your own grandchild is a very reasonable exception to government rules which in many cases make little sense. Of course if the child is very vulnerable for some reason that’s a bit different.

Megzmoo · 26/08/2020 10:30

My dd is 12 weeks old and we waited until she was 6 weeks old for grandparents, now that's she's 12 weeks we are letting family but still not friends. It's personal preference. Our first dd was still born last year, so we are being incredibly over protective.

To begin with we made our families wear ppe, however now we just ask they wear clean clothes and wash hands x

peachypetite · 26/08/2020 10:30

If the parents aren’t comfortable with it, it’s completely their right to say they don’t want others holding the baby.

Rightthen24 · 26/08/2020 10:34

My nephew is 3 months old and we haven't been allowed to even meet him let alone have a cuddle.
This is my bro & SIL 3rd child, but they are also refusing to send their children back to school in Sept and reassess in Jan.

Topseyt · 26/08/2020 10:38

This is where I think these arbitrary rules can be over the top and ridiculous.

I guess if the parents wish it then there isn't a lot you can do.

baubled · 26/08/2020 17:19

It doesn't really matter what people on here think 🤷🏻‍♀️ it will make no difference (as it shouldn't) to what the parents think!

What you feel is over the top might be a major source of panic to a set of new parents who have had a baby amid all the coronavirus craziness. Has there been any issues before? Do you think it's an excuse? If not I think you need to respect the parents wishes no matter how over the top you think it might be, their feelings trump your OH at the moment!

MrsAmaretto · 26/08/2020 18:46

Fair enough. None of us know if we are asymptomatic carriers? I’d certainly not hold a baby - wont it have a weak immune system? It’s not worth the risk, it’s taken 9months to grow a healthy baby, why risk its health?

RandomTree · 26/08/2020 18:47

If I was the child's parents I'd be ok with it, but I think it is their decision to make.

ParadiseLaundry · 26/08/2020 18:54

I think it's their baby and baby and their decision.

CarrotCakeCrumbs · 26/08/2020 19:16

Their baby, their rules I'm afraid. There isn't much point in asking other people because everyone will have a different opinion. I had severe PPA and PPD with both of my children and other people holding them made me feel like my head and heart were about to explode, and that was before Covid-19, the feeling did ease off both times and I personally didnt stop people having cuddles (I didn't like it, but i knew it was irrational) however i think if Covid-19 had been going on then I probably would have refused to let anyone hold them.

022828MAN · 26/08/2020 19:21

I didn't like people holding DD when she was tiny and that wasn't even with C19 knocking about. Have you held DGC, is it just your dh who hasn't?

LouiseNW · 26/08/2020 21:38

Lacking any further information, it’s entirely up to them who holds their baby. Ours are almost all grown ups now but if times had been so uncertain when they all were babies, I would have been incredibly cautious too. Possibly overly but as their mother that would have been entirely my prerogative.

EasterIssland · 26/08/2020 21:49

Not sure which is the point of this thread but i guess bashing the relatives ?
If the mum is having some fears this might me affecting her mh. Have you asked her how is she doing ? And whether she needs anything?

Tbh I can never understand the need of holding babies when they’re small. It’s mainly for the adults benefit rather than the child who should mainly be with the parents. My sister in law is giving birth next week and I’ve no plans of holding the baby at all.
We’re in the middle is a pandemic and tbh holding a newborn should be one of your least worries

DarkMintChocolate · 27/08/2020 08:30

DGS tested positive for the corona virus at 6 weeks old. He was a risk to us, not the other way round. Anyway, he had no symptoms as far as his parents could tell, and was only tested because his older sister had hives on and off. He seems fine now.

As for holding babies, imo it’s to get them used to other close family and friends - just in case a babysitter needs to look after them? Such as when a parent ends up in hospital or has an appointment, they really can’t take a baby to; or even the parents feel like a couple of hours on their own!

VainAbigail · 27/08/2020 08:47

@Megzmoo

To begin with we made our families wear ppe

What PPE did you make your family wear??

Megzmoo · 27/08/2020 09:41

@VainAbigail
They wore face masks and aprons, made them wash their hands!

It was the only way my husband would let my parents and his mum hold dd. We waited 6 weeks but I was completely stuck between a rock and a hard place with all grandparents banging on at me all the time about holding her and husband being a firm no!

However I did want grandparents to hold her, my parents had been shielding and not left their home at all (my dad has a condition so both had to shield) they had not even been to their local shop, had everything delivered!

I completely feel for parents during this time, it should be the most enjoyable time (and it still is for me) but people always asking can be very draining on you!

Spied · 27/08/2020 09:44

Our thoughts and yours really don't matter.
If the mother is uncomfortable then it doesn't happen.

Reallybadidea · 27/08/2020 09:45

Aprons?!

Bravefarts · 27/08/2020 09:48

Well, in England, unless the child's parent is single, then they shouldn't be within two metres of their grandparents.

Original poster
D2016 · 27/08/2020 11:38

Well thank you for your responses. I really wanted to know if anyone else is on the same situation.
I shall close this thread down now.

OP posts:
Bravefarts · 27/08/2020 14:25

Anyone not single, who has children who are not single parents, who is bothering to follow the guidelines in England, can't hug their grandchildren.

I'm intrigued that you're closing the thread?!

cornflakecritter · 27/08/2020 14:32

I appreciate its very difficult situation for you all, but it's absolutely the parents' decision. It isn't unreasonable in the unusual circumstances we are in, they are following government guidance. Also I can understand them personally wanting to minimise the risk for their baby, from a virus that is relatively unknown in terms of immediate and long term effects.