So worried about work situation

[Posturesorposes]

Been awake most of the night. Hoping some of you might give me advice. Have name changed so as to not out myself...

During lockdown, whilst I was on mat leave with a weeks old baby a fab new position within my organisation was announced. It would become roughly a third of the postholders contract and would be cross-departmental- a total step up and spot on with my interests. I applied. When I applied I knew that experience wise I would be a total newbie (say under 10 years after my PhD versus others in parallel roles 25 plus years since PhD). But my department encouraged me and I was called to interview. Interviewed on zoom and voila - was offered it! Returned to work two weeks ago with this cool new title at work and flung myself into my new role — a huge career step up.

As part of this role I’ve been having meetings with loads of people and have had 3 lines of feedback from some Very Important People. They are all under the rank of the person who hired me (this person is bear the very top of the organisation) but they still are Very Important.

Person 1 told me: I am too inexperienced for this role. They wanted it themselves.

Person 2 told me: the role itself is meaningless and adds no value to the organisation and they can see I’m buzzing with energy but they see no reason for them or their department to engage with me/this role.

Person 3: they already have what they need and this role makes little sense.

Three three people pretty much lead key aspects of the organisation. I can see they are years and years of achievement ahead of me. But I WAS given this role. I didn’t cheat my way into it somehow. Now I feel they’ve made a colossal mistake and I should resign.

Other less senior voices have subtly indicated the role decision had to do with my gender/ethnicity.

I’m a really driven ambitious person, and even with a baby and a pre schooler i was SO excited about this role but if such senior people are so so down about me doing this maybe it’s a task too huge for me and maybe my hiring was a huge mistake. So unsure what to do. An array of marketing is being produced to promote the role and me and I feel like a total imposter.

Really upset about this and soon will need to get up for baby’s morning breastfeed then nursery etc but thought would pop it on here. Have been looking vaguely for “women in leadership” type courses even :/

on your merits you’ve been given an opportunity you really want to do a job.

I understand why you feel demoralised but I think you need to decide what your priorities are. Forge on, do the role, achieve your goals, prove them wrong by your success. You need to defend yourself robustly and firmly.

The fact that one of the people said that they wanted the role is quite revealing, but you got it not them. Anyone who says you achieved it because of your gender/ethnicity needs to be firmly pointed to take that up with HR, that’s an insidious accusation, dont entertain it.

Focus on why you want the role, that’s the key. Deflate their arguments through your achievement.

Can you identify any networks either inside or outside your organisation that might be a source of support? Finding a mentor is really useful.

Deep breath, best of luck, don’t let the bastards grind you down. 🙂

Wow! That's a whole lot of jealousy!! And to be so open about it too!! This is not acceptable in the workplace.

But bloody hell, enjoy it!!! Enjoy throwing yourself into your new role, enjoy excelling in it, relish it!! Don't leave, do the opposite!!

On the other side of things: record absolutely everything anyone says, document it all. You know you are heading to HR at this rate. In fact, when they mention it again, tell them that it's unacceptable and you will be seeking advice from HR should they continue.

Do not allow them to make you feel this way!

I'm really chuffed for you that you got this position!

Ignore. They're jealous. They'll get over it.

Stop doubting yourself. It's their issue (especially person 1), not yours.

Maybe part of the attraction is that you're less experienced aka less institutionalised.

Write down all comments re: gender getting you the job. That is a red flag for the person saying it being sexist. Either way, rude!! They are trying to put you down. Don't let them.

Is your role and aims clear? Have the others been told it?
Can you copy the person who hired you into emails? Might be worth asking them for a catch up. Mention the hostility you are receiving and set out your plans.

Isn’t it amazing how much insecurity oozes out of people when a younger / female person does well?

OP, you’ve earned this role - to have gained it whilst on maternity leave is bloody impressive, so massive well done for that for a start. Unfortunately you’re experiencing some of other people’s shit as a result, but this is usually the case to be honest, so it’s a good opportunity to learn how to deal with it.

Come up with some responses to Senior Twats eg ‘oh that’s interesting, have you raised your concerns with Super Senior Person? Perhaps it’s worth us all sitting down so s/he can explain the context of the role more to you.’ DON’T be intimidated by them, or they’ll know they can carry on treating you disrespectfully, but don’t be arsey either. Be very factual / practical in your approach, rather than using emotions - ‘I think’, ‘I feel’ etc.

Own this role. It’s yours, what are you going to do with it?

Congratulations on getting the job for starters, you've done so well to apply and be successful with a small baby, in lockdown!

I suspect we are employed in similar places.

Feedback from person one, you can totally discount. Since they wanted the job themselves, their feedback at this stage won't be objective. Their subconscious aim is to make themselves feel better about not getting the job; it's not about you.

Person two and three, both of those feedbacks reflect organisational structure and politics and are definitely not personally directed to you. They would feel that way whoever did the job.

The less senior voices - is there any chance they are threatened by your ambition and success? People love to find an excuse for why someone else is doing well!

Overall, you sound like just the right person for the job. If the senior people are not sure about the value of the role yet, they will need someone with your skills, experience, drive, ambition, and energy to make it work.

Before declaring it a mistake, I would suggest arranging a meeting with the person who hired you (it might take a while if they are super senior but they should be able to find a slot for you, even 30 minutes), talk through the feedback you've had so far, and discuss strategies to encourage senior people to engage with the new role. If you were feeling brave, you could even ask the slightly less senior people (not person 1!) what changes would make them more likely to engage.

Good luck and well done!

Oh wow. You guys are so kind. Thank you. So - say Super Senior Person hired me. Comment from Senior Person was that Super Senior Person (above them) is misguided in at all thinking the role is value adding and then the comment about I have energy clearly but the role won’t make a difference. It IS a very scary task, absolutely, and a real total challenge but there is no way I can ascertain 1) whether a mistake has been made 2) whether the hiring is regretted widely and 3) what gender ethnicity and career stage had to do with it.

The other remark made about Super Senior Person by Senior Person was that Super Senior Person is known to encourage early career people (say me) and that is misguided because “what’s the point of trying to pull up people at the bottom when you should invest in pulling up the top quartile and hope that trickles down”. At this point I wanted to cry a bit.

Thank you SO much. I have great friends in my own department who are so chuffed for me and encouraged me for this form get go but maybe it is too soon for a role across all departments. Gah.

Off I go to feed the baby and act confident :/

Young, female and from what you've said, not white too, ooo how their blood must be boiling!! Why do people never consider that they are in the role they're in because of their maleness and whiteness? Staggers me that it only works one way around.
Enjoy it, you've earned this and their petty jealousy is worth documenting and taking straight to HR.

And please remember that they are accusing you of the job being yours due to your gender, however you must use the word sex, as this is what is protected in law.

To be honest it’s not my female-ness or my non-whiteness that’s bothering me in what’s a largely white organisation. What IS bothering me is the early career status. Christ that’s really bothering me. And that’s where I cannot ignore my gut instinct that I didn’t really deserve it/will be out of my depths with it but that my
Gender and ethnicity made them give me it. I know I know I need to ignore these voices but the career status is such a key point when engaging with people who were earning CV lines from - well - person 1 has lines on her Cv from when I was in year 5 at school. You have to wonder what they were thinking with My hire if it wasn’t my ethnicity and gender helping my case. Oh god. (Ties her head in knots).

I made the mistake of thinking that people older than me were automatically better, it’s really not a reliable guide to ability.

Ignore, ignore and ignore

Do not let these jealous people undermine you. Onwards and upwards and be the women you were meant to be. :)

Well done! You come across as a total badass, passionate and bold (I'd be terrified going for a step up on Mat leave) and perfectly suited for the job. You deserve it, so much so you've terrified some of the others, if they really thought you weren't suited would they have said those things to you? No they'd quietly watch you struggle and privately voiced concerns, you're that good you have totally intimidated them- well done!
No actual tips but hold your head high and don't let them dim your enthusiasm

You’re 19 years from your PhD? That’s not early career, sounds as if these people who were overlooked / not considered are just wrong. You went for the position & got it. Clearly you’ve an energy and passion that’s clear along with your experience & drive I can certainly see why they hired you. Also, as you were already employed with the company you’re not adding to their diversity statistics. You’ve got this!!

*10 years post Phd

Awwwww. I haven’t ever been called a badass before! Haha! Thank you. It’s a 5 year appointment- will try to make it past 2 weeks currently :)

I am precisely 8.6 years past PHD including two career breaks/mat leaves inside those 8.6 years so even if not technical EC still at earlier end

I’m sure the senior person A wouldn’t think the role was so redundant if they’d have been awarded it!

These people are jealous and probably afraid. Introducing a role like this is a sign from senior management that the silo’d structure in which things have been operating needs to change. Change = fear (for many).

Please, please set your doubts to one side and don’t waste your energy on them any more. You earned the role because you are qualified to do it, interviewed well and were the chosen candidate. The role was created because it’s needed!

Also what utter bollocks about pushing up the top echelon of the company. Again jealousy and fear speaking. What he’s basically saying sounds like “preserve the status quo”.

Things to do: Ask for a monthly skip-level meeting with super senior person. You need a regular opportunity to report on what you have been instituting and the collaboration and input you’ve seen from these senior folks. If they are going to try and hamper your success by not collaborating then that needs to be shared as it’s hampering the success of the strategy that super senior person wants to implement.

Find a peer type mentor: Whose work ethic and approach to work and collaboration do you really admire? Find one or two of these and make time to meet with them at least every couple of weeks. I’ve recently started doing this and mentoring others and I’ve been amazed at how quickly my network has expanded to the benefit of all of us. I think network is key to the success of this role.

Who is your line manager in all of this and how can they be assisting you in being supported as you build this new thing?

Finally I would sit down and put pen to paper and start making a plan for your first 100 days. What would you like to be able to report to the super senior person at the end of it? How are you going to make it happen? Where are the risks and what strategy can you use to mitigate?

Thank you for being brave and engaging with the role whilst on maternity and grabbing it with both hands. You will be showing others all around you in your organisation and social circle that this is something all women should be doing if they want it! Go get em.

I had a few thoughts reading your posts.

Your ultimate boss sounds very progressive in a way. He/she has form for encouraging younger team members which is great - recognising/rewarding talent and hard work and I suspect has an eye to future-proofing the business. Those with more experience/older are of course important now, but they will likely retire in the short/medium term and it’s vital to have succession plans in place for a business. It looks like you’re to be a part of that.

In a senior role, you’ll usually always have to deal with jealousy, particularly if promoted from within and staff have known you at a junior level. You’ll either have to suck it up and establish yourself in your new role over time (dealing with any significant issues with HR if needed) or leave and go somewhere where you don’t have this prior relationship. It might be a good idea to meet with your ultimate boss to discuss the role and how to get others to embrace it, as PP have suggested. I’d be wary of complaining about the personal comments at this stage. You need to focus on the role, any concerns people have over its necessity, and how to get others more engaged. Try to formulate a strategy, rather than complaining at this stage.

As a very senior person I’d want to see you about strategy - I wouldn’t want to hear about issues with catty comments unless you’d tried the usual strategies to resolve it and you weren’t getting anywhere/were getting seriously bullied. You sound like you’re in a senior role now yourself so I’d expect you to be proactive and try to deal with issues yourself (appropriately and with assistance from relevant people eg HR if necessary) not run to me over every catty comment. It sounds from your OP you’ve only had 3 bits of specific feedback, and some low level grumbling from jealous staff. You need to put people in their place and give it some time to prove yourself.

I’m also of the opinion that people get jobs for all kinds of reasons and sometimes it’s sex, race etc... In many cases that’s the white male. You’ll never really know - so don’t stress that. You have the job. It’s up to you to make something of it.

I think the things said to you are bloody outrageous and say far more about them than you.

Go girl.

DO NOT resign from this post!! You deserve it and you have earned it. They are jealous. I had similar comments when I stepped up at a young age in my career but I have never regretted it.

Read the book "Lean in: women, work and the will to lead " by Sheryl sandberg. It'll give you a good confidence boost

@Posturesorposes

Been awake most of the night. Hoping some of you might give me advice. Have name changed so as to not out myself...

During lockdown, whilst I was on mat leave with a weeks old baby a fab new position within my organisation was announced. It would become roughly a third of the postholders contract and would be cross-departmental- a total step up and spot on with my interests. I applied. When I applied I knew that experience wise I would be a total newbie (say under 10 years after my PhD versus others in parallel roles 25 plus years since PhD). But my department encouraged me and I was called to interview. Interviewed on zoom and voila - was offered it! Returned to work two weeks ago with this cool new title at work and flung myself into my new role — a huge career step up.

As part of this role I’ve been having meetings with loads of people and have had 3 lines of feedback from some Very Important People. They are all under the rank of the person who hired me (this person is bear the very top of the organisation) but they still are Very Important.

Person 1 told me: I am too inexperienced for this role. They wanted it themselves.

Person 2 told me: the role itself is meaningless and adds no value to the organisation and they can see I’m buzzing with energy but they see no reason for them or their department to engage with me/this role.

Person 3: they already have what they need and this role makes little sense.

Three three people pretty much lead key aspects of the organisation. I can see they are years and years of achievement ahead of me. But I WAS given this role. I didn’t cheat my way into it somehow. Now I feel they’ve made a colossal mistake and I should resign.

Other less senior voices have subtly indicated the role decision had to do with my gender/ethnicity.

I’m a really driven ambitious person, and even with a baby and a pre schooler i was SO excited about this role but if such senior people are so so down about me doing this maybe it’s a task too huge for me and maybe my hiring was a huge mistake. So unsure what to do. An array of marketing is being produced to promote the role and me and I feel like a total imposter.

Really upset about this and soon will need to get up for baby’s morning breastfeed then nursery etc but thought would pop it on here. Have been looking vaguely for “women in leadership” type courses even :/

Are you bybany chance from a BAME community group? Would the offer have been before the current BLM? Does your organisation have a drive to increase bame in senior roles (many do atm). If not then that assertion's codswallop.

Person 1 told me: I am too inexperienced for this role. They wanted it themselves.
I would now reply. Thank you for your email. I am sorry that your skillset was not deemed appropriate for the role. Good luck for future roles. If I can support you in moving on in anyway I will.

Person 2 told me: the role itself is meaningless and adds no value to the organisation and they can see I’m buzzing with energy but they see no reason for them or their department to engage with me/this role.
I would now simply reply that this is the direction the organisation is moving in. However, as you don't see the value of the role nor your department working collaboratively, I have ccd my line manager into this email to discuss with you further.

Person 3: they already have what they need and this role makes little sense.
For this I would Simply now respond that you look forward to exploring how we can work together to further improve their offer/stats or whatever.

I would definitely now respond, as not responding means you're cowling in the corner and they'll have the psychological upper hand when you inevitably have f2f meetings, albeit virtual atm.

I think that your line manager, someone senior to them needs to know at least about the second, but I would also mention the resistance from the other two, but spin it as a you will need to get them fully on board and able to see past their staunch opinions. This shows they're being inflexible, when the organisation is evolving further and you're acknowledging that any change has such role holders who do not wish to move with the flow.

That may well be enough to get things moving. It may just be enough to make sure that those above are aware.

Good luck.

Ps even if was due to gender/ethnicity, it matters not, you've got the role and they quite obviously have sour grapes!

Thanks all. Much to ponder. Have bought the sandberg book just now. Need to do morning rush to nursery etc and then work day will give all this a good think. Thank you so much for taking the time....

Well done - now price those jealous dick heads wrong

What's the job by the way?

PS these were all conversations on Teams as in spoken words not emails. Many many many conversations are part of this new role so I currently work in my deserted office at work in person but live on Teams.