So worried about work situation

[Posturesorposes]

Been awake most of the night. Hoping some of you might give me advice. Have name changed so as to not out myself...

During lockdown, whilst I was on mat leave with a weeks old baby a fab new position within my organisation was announced. It would become roughly a third of the postholders contract and would be cross-departmental- a total step up and spot on with my interests. I applied. When I applied I knew that experience wise I would be a total newbie (say under 10 years after my PhD versus others in parallel roles 25 plus years since PhD). But my department encouraged me and I was called to interview. Interviewed on zoom and voila - was offered it! Returned to work two weeks ago with this cool new title at work and flung myself into my new role — a huge career step up.

As part of this role I’ve been having meetings with loads of people and have had 3 lines of feedback from some Very Important People. They are all under the rank of the person who hired me (this person is bear the very top of the organisation) but they still are Very Important.

Person 1 told me: I am too inexperienced for this role. They wanted it themselves.

Person 2 told me: the role itself is meaningless and adds no value to the organisation and they can see I’m buzzing with energy but they see no reason for them or their department to engage with me/this role.

Person 3: they already have what they need and this role makes little sense.

Three three people pretty much lead key aspects of the organisation. I can see they are years and years of achievement ahead of me. But I WAS given this role. I didn’t cheat my way into it somehow. Now I feel they’ve made a colossal mistake and I should resign.

Other less senior voices have subtly indicated the role decision had to do with my gender/ethnicity.

I’m a really driven ambitious person, and even with a baby and a pre schooler i was SO excited about this role but if such senior people are so so down about me doing this maybe it’s a task too huge for me and maybe my hiring was a huge mistake. So unsure what to do. An array of marketing is being produced to promote the role and me and I feel like a total imposter.

Really upset about this and soon will need to get up for baby’s morning breastfeed then nursery etc but thought would pop it on here. Have been looking vaguely for “women in leadership” type courses even :/

Is it more money? Who cares what others think? Just do your best in the role and with time they will see and understand why you got the job. I don’t know if this is relevant, but people often don’t like change. So, maybe they just need a little time to get used to the role.

Congratulations on your new role.

I'm sorry you are working with so many unsupportive bitter people.

Their behaviour speaks volumes not only about their jealousy but also about their fear of change and the fact that the old guard isn't what it once was.

Every time someone makes a comment along the lines of those you have listed make a note of the comment, the date and context in which it was made. I also agree with pp about pointing them in the direction of HR (or offering to do it for them). The comments about gender/ethnicity are particularly vile.

Good luck with the role. You sound excited and really up for it. You've got this.

Congratulations!!! Very impressive!

You obviously don't lack enthusiasm nor ambition. I highly doubt anyone would give you a role you didn't have qualifications for. Try to think about it like this: Very Senior Person would not have risked their reputation by giving the role to someone they didn't believe in - gender/ethnicity aside. Gender and ethnicity may come to play if you have two candidates of exactly the same qualifications/experience/potential but no serious organisation will promote someone SOLELY on the basis of their gender/ethnicity.

So what if you're younger - that only means you have fresh outlook. Maybe that's exactly what this role needs - not a 'Senior Person' set in their own ways, but an aspiring, talented younger person, a fresh pair of eyes, if you want.

You'll always face pushback when you take on a role created to change the routine - most people don't like the change and it makes them fearful. And I am saying all this as someone who manages several people who were working when I was in elementary school, including a person who was working when I was born.

Go and speak to whoever appointed you. Tell them what is happening.

Explain to them that you need their support and air-cover right now to embed your role.

If they get onto it, you'll be fine.

If not (i.e. if they say, 'this comes with the territory', or 'you have to fight it out yourself' or 'they'll come round to it), then you know that unfortunately your appointment is some sort of vanity project on their behalf.

I've been where you are with the new, exciting job role etc. Thing was, my client group were f*ing awful and resented my appointment (I doubt it was personal). It nearly broke me. It sounds like a wonderful appointment but very quickly you need to find out where you stand. You sound flattered by your own appointment - don't be - you're there to do a job on merit just as much as anyone else. Go to your hirer and explain that you need their support - right now.

Very common to get “imposter syndrome” when we first take on a new job or role. You are going to settle in and do a fine job. This place needs new blood, new energy, new ideas/perspectives— and that’s what you bring (very threatening to the “dead weight,” btw!). Don’t let these people get you down or undermine your confidence or competence. You sound fabulous! Be positive, open, and assertive (especially if you are the target of a put down—subtle or not). You are going to make believers out of these people. I can tell!

Ah thanks so much all of you. My lovely HoD also much senior calls me a breath of fresh air which is very sweet and am encouraged. My other friend in department - he said there is no way they could have found a better person for this and he saw my name written all
Over it when he saw the advert and forwarded it to me - see I have believers! Will settle in a bit more and yes have a catch up with my Hirer Super Senior Person...

Massive congratulations on getting this job! It sounds to me like the attitudes of 1-3 are precisely why you have been hired. What they do and how they do it is not what Super Senior person wants and they see your talent, ambition and energy in helping them to shift the organisation. People in silos like their silo because they’re the most important person in it, and cross-org roles annoy them because it suggests that other parts of the organisation might be as (or, gasp, more) important than theirs.
This is not to say it will be easy to do, far from it, but if - as it sounds like you do - you have a clear vision of what you want to do and why, I found in a similar role it is possible to do something new and eventually get some of the most hardened gits to acknowledge its value.
The key for me was finding the mutual benefit. Why is what you want to do good for them? How will it raise their profile, add value for their clients, improve their value to the organisation, whatever it is they want.

Then although they can think what they like they absolutely cannot say it or imply it and I’d be doing the ‘repeat it back to them’ with the comments on face and gender. This is a v useful tactic which can buy you time in a difficult situation, just literally repeat back what the person says to you and wait. Silence is also your friend, especially if like me you always rush to fill it. It can be very powerful to respond to bullies with a beaming grin. It disconcerts them. And this is a bit cheesy but someone told me a couple of years ago that you can’t compare your insides - panicking and feeling a bit useless - to other people’s outsides. They too have an inside person who’s panicking and feeling threatened, hence their horrible behaviour.
I would definitely look into coaching support too, that helped me hugely to adapt to a new role and to recognise what I was already great at as well as what I needed (and still need!) to work on and work out.
Good luck. This sounds like a brilliant role and you sound like an amazing person. Go for it and be fantastic.

Try to be positive OP. Most organisations have layers of personal and departmental politics. Try to see these challenges as opportunities to develop your politicking skills and abilities to navigate which will stand you in good stead in getting to the top later in your career. The good thing is that these people have been upfront with their interests rather than hiding this from you and undermining the role with you in ignorance. Don't take it personally, just see the opportunity to learn and develop.

Good luck.

You have raging ‘imposter syndrome’ - google it. Very common in women. Do you think a bloke would be that worried even if he felt (unlikely) that his rise had been undeservedly meteoric?!
The comments made that have disturbed you were wholly unprofessional and inappropriate but pretty standard issue as you progress upwards. Stop expecting everyone to like you or even be fair. Presumably you would not be guilty of such misjudgement, so on that basis you are demonstrably superior to these people. As you progress up the greasy poll you will come across attitudes like this and part of your job is to deal with it. Don’t let them take away from your achievement. I would do all I could to develop a good relationship with the director who recruited you. Make sure that your plans and achievements are very visible. Blow your own trumpet. Cover your back. Hang in there!

Congratulations on the new job! Have you had feedback from your interview? This might give you a confidence boost and help you see why they picked you over everyone else. I would suggest you ask for feedback so you can start the role knowing what skills and behaviours you can leverage but also have awareness of where you should focus for development.

I heard recently from a senior manager that when he was promoted somebody told him he only got the job as he ticked a box (he is dyslexic and has declared this as a disability.) I was absolutely livid as I interviewed him for the promotion! He was brilliant and the highest scoring candidate by a mile and I told him so.

These comments are not only rude and unprofessional they are also very disrespectful to the super senior person that hired you. I would bear that in mind next time says something.

You would not have been appointed to this role if you were not capable so ignore the haters and go smash it!

Good luck!

Bless you OP, sounds to me as though thing one, two and three have reached their ceiling in their careers and are bitter. Don’t give up, you are indeed a breath of fresh air and will go far, consider it a challenge and one you will overcome.

You know, if your detractors were so big and clever, they'd be the ones making the decision about whether to appoint you and whether the role is needed. They aren't, and that responsibility doesn't rest with them.

Go and do the job you want to do, and ignore them.

Well done! Echoing all the encouragement from others, and also to add that - it's hard to say without knowing specifics of the role - but it sounds standard for senior roles to be meeting with resistance to change. Lower down, you can usually expect to be able to do the job you've been given, but as you rise up, the role can become more about influencing and finding out how to motivate and win people over to letting you do your job when it's not in their personal or what they perceive to be their professional interests. Things get more political, and there's a lot of power play, and you absolutely have to not take this as a sign that you're failing in any way, but both as normal and as a sign that you are doing your job because you're seen as a threat because you might actually manage to get something done! So put on that confident armour, brace yourself for more of this, equip yourself with influencing and persuasion skills, use sounding boards (mentor or coach?) to reflect and strategise, and absolutely DO NOT GIVE UP! People don't like change, but the world needs it and you're going to make it happen...

I made the mistake of thinking that people older than me were automatically better, it’s really not a reliable guide to ability.

This ^^

You've had some excellent advice OP and good luck in work today.

I just wanted to add - some of this is just about carrying on being the best you can in your role, until some time has passed & people accept you are in this position and that's now the status quo.

I had a very difficult appointment in work some year ago (I'm still in that post & frankly, it's still difficult 🤦🏻‍♀️). I was replacing the existing Head of Team, who was removed under a disciplinary process, and who I then had to manage. Most of the team were unaware of the seriousness of the issues, tho they knew he wasn't able to perform, and there was naturally sympathy for him. I was relatively new to the organisation so there was a lot of muttering subtle and not-so-subtle about the appointment.

Speaking to the ultimate boss, I voiced my concerns & how would it ever improve?

He said simply: people get used to things more quickly than you think.

He was right, to an extent at least (it's a very tough role, in terms of people management, tbh) - people did get used to it, as I did.

Keep On Keeping On OP.

(And you sound amazing btw!)

Sorry my formatting got all mixed up there. It did look right before I posted!

They are bitterly jealous of both your age and success
Formally complain about their bullying so you have a paper trail. Keep your head high and ignore. They are nasty
Never give up your success for bitter jealous people. But do report their unacceptable behaviour as it will be the only way they stop.

Persons 1, 2 and 3 are jealous. You got the job, you are capable, go for it!

OP - you were not appointed because of your ethnicity or your sex. You were not, so don't make that your story about yourself.

People, especially academics, don't like change.
Especially when it removes some of their teams role into someone else's. They can't see how your role will work because everything is just fine right now.....

Only it isn't fine and that's why super senior person has put this role in place.

First challenge of any newly created job - carve out the role and the relationships with other teams - show them the benefit and how you can help improve their team

They've set their opinion out quite clearly so you have the benefit of knowing how they will work!

I moved into a newly created role 3 years ago, year 1 was awful with a constant battle against a team who thought I was stepping on their toes and taking their jobs (I was!!), year 2 they started to accept that this part was actually my responsibility helped by a wider restructure and support from their boss and my boss. Year 3, took off and the role works....going into y4 and that team have just lost more work to my team because we do it properly and they don't....I'm ready for more comments and issues!!

Stick with it, carve out your role and keep in touch with your line manager about their opinions, it won't go unnoticed and they should be backing you up

Oh and maybe your relative newness compared to their 25 years is the reason for hiring you - they want fresh ideas and not the 25 years stuck in their ways. They want to move forwards and transform things - they have proved to you right there why they didn't get the job!!

Hi @Posturesorposes, congrats on the job! Lots of encouragement and support on this thread, which I hope buoys you up. One thing that stood out for me was your comment about your ‘gut instinct you don’t deserve it’ and I wanted to encourage you not to buy into this belief (it’s a belief, not a true gut instinct in my view). I work as an exec coach and it’s honestly really really common for people (even at the most senior levels) to have this kind of imposter syndrome/critical inner talk. It isn’t true that you don’t deserve it and I’d hate for you to buy into those ridiculous comments from your colleagues and believe you don’t deserve it.

Check out Brene Brown’s work on vulnerability and shame, and Tara Mohr on the inner critic, as they have lots of great tools and tips. And linked to your user name, google the Amy Cuddy TED talk about power poses to boost confidence. DM me if you’d like more ideas but there’s lots available online - please just notice it for what it is so you can deal with it rather than buy into it and think you don’t deserve the job/ should leave.

Hope it goes well!

It sounds like the senior people in your firm (not super senior person) are quite set in their ways and entrenched in their roles. This happens a lot in places, things are done a certain way because they have always been done that way. From your comments it sounds like you were hired for your enthusiasm, energy and fresh ideas. Things that these other senior people lack.

I suspect you may encounter quite a bit of resistance in your new role. Mostly because these entrenched people don’t like change. But you’ve been given the role because they think you can do it, and shake the place up a bit. I’m sure you’ll do brilliantly

Does it matter if you got the job in part because of junior energy, being a woman or your ethnicity? Why aren’t they assets, in fact? Keep your enthusiasm and practise your ‘Interesting opinion, let’s talk more about it’ face and feedback emails for the Senior Doubters.

Don’t let them knock you.

Congratulations on your job!

You have already had good advice on imposter syndrome. I would also work on the people-pleasing aspect; it's another area that gets "programmed in" to females. Frankly, the more senior you get, the more you will out people's noses out of joint - and this is acceptable. In fact, it's even necessary.

It sounds like you were chosen precisely because you were fresh, enthusiastic and new. So, go ahead and make the role your own. I second getting a mentor or good business coach.