Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Dr has advised me not to go back in September (teacher)

197 replies

IrisJoy · 25/08/2020 12:04

I have just had an appointment with my consultant. They have advised me extremely strongly not to return to my school in September. I am a primary school teacher who has had a lung transplant.
I don't know why I am writing this really. Maybe it's a wwyd? Or would you judge me for not returning.
Unfortunately it's a new job so the school don't know me. I feel that I would be letting them down terribly. Especially as I don't know when it would be safe to go in.
I am wondering whether I need to resign from a job I haven't started. I don't know if I would be paid. I hope not in a way as I feel bad enough as it is.
I have emailed the head and I am waiting for her to get in contact.
It's so hard for a lot of people to understand,as the government are so adament that shielding has ended. Tbh I would be the same if I was 'healthy'.
Just after a few wise mumsnet words I suppose....

OP posts:
inforapennyinforapug · 25/08/2020 12:11

Listen to your consultant. Presumably you’re on anti rejection drugs which will make you more vulnerable? Can you manage financially if you have to resign?

Bearnecessity · 25/08/2020 12:12

Hi there maybe ask to defer it a year, see how the land lies and incentivise the Head with this option by saying you won't go onto payroll.

sananbaz · 25/08/2020 12:12

Your health comes first. I would listen to the doctor, not go in and wait for a response from the headteacher. They will hopefully give you options which you can ask for union support if you are worried about what they are offering.
I've lost a parent and a friend to covid, trust what your doctor is telling you to do xx

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
boredboredboredboredbored · 25/08/2020 12:15

You have to listen and follow the guidance of your consultant, I guess the problem is exactly when you will be able to go back? Covid isn't going away anytime soon your situation may go on for the foreseeable future.

Do you have a contract and is the Doctor going to sign you off as unfit to work?

Original poster
IrisJoy · 25/08/2020 12:16

Thank you for your replies. I know it is sensible to not go in. I just feel so frustrated. I am used to just getting on with things. I also feel that people will judge me as being lazy or overly anxious.
I am in the very fortunate position that my mum has offered to help me out financially if needs be.

OP posts:
Original poster
IrisJoy · 25/08/2020 12:18

I don't have a contract yet. Although they are drawing one up for me.
The Dr said either when there is a vaccine or when the WHO downgraded it from being a pandemic.
I also have concerns that if I ever needed more help medically it will be in my file as not listening to doctor's advice/being non compliant if I do go back.

OP posts:
MsEllany · 25/08/2020 12:18

@IrisJoy
People that matter, don’t mind; people that mind, don’t matter.

I really suggest you try and embody this rather than considering going back to work directly against medical advice in case people think badly of you.

You’ve had a lung transplant!.

Original poster
IrisJoy · 25/08/2020 12:19

Consultant has said they are happy to write and say it isn't safe for me to be in a school.
Be honest, would you judge me though?

OP posts:
FinnyStory · 25/08/2020 12:19

On a purely practical level, if your doctor doesn't think you are fit to be at work he needs to sign you off. Then, I would expect the school to follow the sickness absence policy, which would ultimately, if there is no likelihood of return in a reasonable time result in dismissal, although there may be some leeway with the current situation, schools can't support staff who are unable to work indefinitely.

It is an awful situation that some people will find themselves in but this would happen in all sectors where you have a health condition that renders you unable to do your job.

I think you should be taking to your doctor about reasonable adjustments your employer can put in place to enable you to return. Has the doctor seen the school's risk assessment? What does it say about vulnerable staff?

Original poster
IrisJoy · 25/08/2020 12:20

@MsEllany you're absolutely right. It's just easier said than done!

OP posts:
SandysMam · 25/08/2020 12:24

I think you should listen to your doctor. Have a chat with the head, you never know, they may put you in charge of the home learning programme or something similar from home. Don’t just quit.
Wishing you all the luck in the world, I need a kidney transplant and I totally appreciate the battle you have been through to get this far! You sound fab OP, I hope someone reading this is a multi millionaire who will offer to give you a teachers salary until it is safe for you to go back!
Be kind to yourself OP, and don’t worry about letting anyone down, anyone not understanding this is not worth it anyway.

GinGinHooray · 25/08/2020 12:25

A work colleague of mine is not returning to work on the advice of her consultant, she has had a kidney transplant quite a while ago and some health issues and gradual deterioration recently.

We work for the council.

She is able to take early retirement due to health reasons instead of just resigning, which will help her financially, as she will be able to receive her pension now. (I think she's 55?)

Nobody judges her at all, colleagues and customers alike are all very supportive of her wise decision.

SandysMam · 25/08/2020 12:26

And if you do leave unpaid, maybe consider becoming a zoom tutor. Sure there is lots of call for it. Maybe even to kids who have also had transplants and can’t go back. You would be very inspiring!

flapdoodlery · 25/08/2020 12:27

I’m a teacher and I absolutely wouldn’t judge you. I would say a lung transplant is right up there in the ‘reasons you wouldn’t even consider judging someone for avoiding 30 germ ridden children.’

DianasLasso · 25/08/2020 12:29

Of course I wouldn't judge you. Flowers You've had a bloomin' lung transplant. Anyone who can't see that this means you shouldn't be running any risk of catching covid is a complete idiot.

It is really, really hard though, if teaching is your life (a close friend of mine had to give up teaching for health-related reasons, and it was awful for her, because she loved it, and it truly was a vocation for her).

What will you do instead? (I like the suggestion upthread that we need a nice multi-millionaire to offer you a salary until it's safe). My friend found other outlets for teaching - is there anything you could do like tuition over Zoom, which would "keep your hand in" and enable you to keep teaching? (I realise it's not the same, particularly with younger children which is a very hands on job, but it might be better than nothing.)

Zany15 · 25/08/2020 12:29

Or would you judge me for not returning.
Don't risk your own health for the sake of what anyone else might think. Please take your consultant's advice on this.

mintyfreshh · 25/08/2020 12:30

I wouldn't judge you at all. And I'm an ex teacher and a parent, so I get both sides of the going back to school debate. You had a flippin lung transplant, and Covid affects the lungs. You definitely shouldn't go back.

cantthinkofanythingwitty · 25/08/2020 12:33

I am a teacher and I absolutely would not judge you for this. You need to prioritise your own health!

treeeeemendous · 25/08/2020 12:33

As a parent or colleague I absolutely wouldn't judge you. I can't believe anyone would.

Sooverthemill · 25/08/2020 12:35

Are you currently under contract with any school? Me the contracts are consecutive so there's no gap in service. So you can go sick I think l of course it's shit for the school and for you but you are not being a big wimpy. You have had a lung transplant and are following your medical advice. Are you in the NUT? I'd call them

Original poster
IrisJoy · 25/08/2020 12:36

Thank you all for your support. I am pretty sure the head will be supportive as she seems fab. It just feels rubbish.
I will definitely look into tutoring via zoom. Ihave done it for a few friends' children over the last few months.
A nice millionaire would be great! 😁

OP posts:
Sooverthemill · 25/08/2020 12:36

Just read up thread. Yes you could tutor via zoom, even for this school perhaps.othersie loads of tutoring jobs online, Good luck

oldstripeyNEWname1 · 25/08/2020 12:40

Ppl who have had a lung transplant, and work as a primary teacher, about to go into a new role, in new territory going back to school when loads of people are concerned? Only those people, with those very specific criteria, have any business judging you. That's a mighty small pool of people, and the rest can shut up.

Think this is a 'trust the expert' situation. Your consultant has made an informed decision based on clinical evidence and guided you to follow it.

Your HT selected YOU for their school. All of you. Your skills, personality, attributes, ambition. What you can bring. Recruitment is an absolute nightmare. As pp suggested, see what HT suggests. A retainer/deferral until more info is available or the situation changes might work.

minisoksmakehardwork · 25/08/2020 12:40

Not a chance would I judge you on taking your consultant's advice seriously. Your consultant knows you and your medical history, the government do not. It's easy for them to say you don't need to shield any more when they don't have to deal with the ramifications of you getting ill.

You are between a rock and a hard place with work, although I hope your employer is kind and doesn't see this as you shirking work but taking your health seriously at the advice of a medically qualified professional.

Best case scenario they keep you on and find work you can do at home, middle scenario they keep you on unpaid with a supply teacher covering the role until you are able to return - your consultant has told you when that is even if they cannot give you a date. Worst case, you lose the job but would you be able to sign on for PIP given you have been told you cannot work at this moment in time.

Notverygrownup · 25/08/2020 12:46

I absolutely would not judge you. Some parents may grumble, because teachers are supposed to be superhuman, not get ill, and are supposed to exist only to look after their class of 30 precious kids. Ex teacher and parent here. Even I might have fallen into the trap sometimes of forgetting that teachers are human. But our kids will survive if someone else has to be brought in to teach them. Honest.

Do what is right for you.