Who is going to employ a 40-something, burnt out academic?

[NoWorkInProgress]

How have I ended up with almost no work? My days are so dull and dire. I feel I’m wasting my life away. There must SOMEONE out there who would employ me?

I have a degree & PhD in Psychology. I drifted into it, and ended up as in a senior position as a lecturer in a good university after a few years as a postdoc. I struggled a lot in academia. My ex worked full time, too, and I was juggling kids. Plus I have ASD, it was a difficult environment. So I quit my post and reconceptualised it - did freelance work. This was successful for several years and the short term contracts suited me well. I gave a lot of tutorials, ran courses on a short term contracts, taught online, and even got involved in some creative projects involving various charities. It was great while the DCs were growing up.

Fast forward a few years. I’m divorced, my DCs are teens, and I’m left with the online work only. I am too worn out to give lectures. I can’t keep up with the new research, and it feels like a performance art that I can’t do any more. My online work is not fulfilling any more. It’s the same thing every term. I run it with my eyes shut.

How do I get out of this? I am panicking. I did a counselling course a few years ago, but it’s not for me. I can’t afford to retrain. I’ve applied for non research posts at local universities but get nowhere with those.

I am now pretty distressed! Who is going to employ a 40-something, burnt out academic of yesteryear?!!

Has anyone else been in my position? I’m so scared.

For a second press pause on feeling scared...

What do you actually love to do?

What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?

What, if any, causes do you feel passionately about?

What are you good at?

(I'm a career coach who specialises in mid-career changes)

Look outside your field maybe? I had a pretty prestigious job before my dc which will be almost impossible to get back into when I'm looking for work again.
I've been looking at very different things and feel quite excited about trying something new. Goid luck.. Im sure you'll be brilliant whatever you end up doing.

Wow, thank you @wheresmymojo for replying to my post.

I have really lost myself. No idea about hobbies or what I love any more. I am good at languages, I suppose, and I like travelling. For many years, all I’ve talked about is work stuff. I was passionate about MH issues but feel so tired of that now.

Is that too vague?

Thank you for encouragement, @Tillygetsit

I’m pretty sure I will have to go outside my field, but not sure where.

Good luck with your search - great that you feel excited! I wish you well.

This is odd, because you're so well-qualified and knowledgeable - you're a DOCTOR for heaven's sake - and yet you seem to be trying to persuade yourself you can't do anything!

You're only in your 40s, yet you're too worn out for lecturing, you don't like counselling, you can't afford to retrain... from an outsider's perspective, it feels like you're actually trying to say 'no' to every possibility. But surely, as an intelligent and educated person, you can assess all the possibilities and find something you can do? And as your subject is psychology, you know exactly (in theory) how to gee yourself up and get enthusiastic and positive about things?

Maybe you need something new in your life - not a new job, as you can cope easily with the online work you have - but a small business on the side, something creative? Or writing a book? Charity work? Restoring something?

@NoWorkInProgress

Wow, thank you *@wheresmymojo* for replying to my post.

I have really lost myself. No idea about hobbies or what I love any more. I am good at languages, I suppose, and I like travelling. For many years, all I’ve talked about is work stuff. I was passionate about MH issues but feel so tired of that now.

Is that too vague?

It's very common. I would say at least half of the mothers that do my programme start off in week one saying 'I don't even know what I like anymore'.

Some of them have found doing the Myers-Briggs test a good starting point to get them thinking about who they are and what they like/dislike...

You can do it for free on 16personalities.com

Are there any other applications of psychology that you find yourself interested in?

Anything that piques your interest when you see an article about it? A particular aspect of psychology you were always more interested in than others?

Sometimes a good area to also think about is what, if any, challenges or traumas you've had to overcome that you feel drawn to helping others with?

Thanks @FlamedToACrisp
I think I have imposter syndrome (is that what it’s called?) and even all these years on, feel like I got my PhD against the odds - like there was some big mistake. I know I worked super hard for it, but I still don’t feel worthy. I just don’t feel very good at what I do. I’m a shit researcher, rubbish at statistics, not very good at writing papers. These are all qualities needed in academic psychology, unfortunately. I was good at teaching but can’t do it any more.

Yes - I really do need to find something to get excited about again. The online stuff doesn’t pay much and I need something new, so I think I am looking more at a new job rather than a sideline business. That was v helpful in itself as a suggestion, thank you.

Do you like dogs or other animals? Have you looked into doing an animal behavior course and rebranding as an animal walker/trainer/general whisperer? Seems left field but it will get you outdoors, away from having to constantly be "on" for people, and I'm sure you've a good foundation in observation, behaviorism, etc...?

What about editing or freelance writing?

Just some ideas really.

My advice for remembering who you are and what you like is to keep a journal/diary and write in it daily for a month or two. You will soon make sense of yourself.

@wheresmymojo

It’s encouraging to know I’m not alone in not even knowing what I like any more! For a long time, work was my passion and my interest. It felt like my hobby WAS my job and I was doing it for pleasure. I can’t remember when I fell out of love with it

I haven’t done the Myers-Briggs test, but have heard good things. Ok, will try this.

After all these years of talking about behaviours, brains, and people, I’m a bit tired of the whole subject. It feels like I’ve changed areas within it a few times now, and I feel very out of it, especially as I’m not really in any related departments more.

For a while, I was interested in a couple of areas related both to my ASD and to a couple of life things that happened to me (too outing to say). I did some charity work in that area and explored some options, but after much thought, I don’t want to take that any further.

Thanks so much for your help!

@rvby

Thank you for your reply. Excellent idea, but no, I’m not an animal person at all.

I did a bit of medical writing and freelance writing but didn’t enjoy it and it didn’t pay much. Maybe I should put out some feelers to see if I still dislike it now. To some extent, beggars can’t be choosers, I need to work!

I love your advice about remembering who I am... Weirdly, I have started to keep a diary. Maybe it was subconsciously for this purpose. I will go over the past few months and see if anything leaps out!

What about tutoring? With the educational system as messed up as it is now, lots of kids need help prepping for exams, levels, etc. There are parents who will pay well for individual tutoring and you could choose your students and subjects.
You could also do ESOL teaching online. Businessmen in other countries prefer to learn English one-on-one during their business day. Sign up with an agency and take as many clients as you feel up to.

@wheresmymojo
I did the Myers-Briggs in the dire you recommended, and got ENTP Debator.
Fascinating stuff! I’m not sure how accurate it is. I can relate to some aspects, certainly.

*on the site

@GeorgiaGirl52

What about tutoring? With the educational system as messed up as it is now, lots of kids need help prepping for exams, levels, etc. There are parents who will pay well for individual tutoring and you could choose your students and subjects. You could also do ESOL teaching online. Businessmen in other countries prefer to learn English one-on-one during their business day. Sign up with an agency and take as many clients as you feel up to.

Thanks, GeorgiaGirl52 I’ve been giving tutorials and want to move away from teaching now. I’ve never done any English teaching, that sounds quite daunting!

My very talented executive PA has a MSc in Psychology and she uses that every day. If you’re organised, want flexible hours, and have a knack for the things idiots like me struggle with (don’t know how to print, make brochures with rings, get urgent visas, like making relationships with restaurants and hotels, keep plant alive, book doctor appointments) then it’s a good career choice. She also manages to delay and move meetings, and says the right thing every time so no one gets angry. She can do all of her stressful errands at the same time as mine and gets paid just under six figures. I’m in my late late 20s, she is in her late 40s, and it works great. She even has an assistant.

There are opportunities like this, if you can frame your skills in the right way. We also just got a new mental health specialist who works in HR and keeps us up to date with sessions we are supposed to attend and mandated therapy/psych tests etc. which your background would be suited with. Positions like this crop up on UK bases with the military too.

This sounds ridiculous, but I am currently really enjoying spending an hour or so a day on the elliptical and watching really really bad reality tv/ documentaries that I’ve never watched before (things like Next in Fashion, Queer Eye, How to Live Mortgage Free, all sorts of relatively mindless trash). This is a very recent Covid thing. I get two things out of this - I get to commit sport (or at least some form of exercise to break the monotony of sitting in front of my computer for days on end) and I get to watch ordinary people putting themselves out of their comfort zones and making really big inspiring changes. Which makes me wonder.
It’s utter schlock, of course, but it’s reignited a long lost interest in fabric and design, triggered a good few new recipes and an interesting in not feeling so washed up, made me wonder about how we could change up our living arrangements to be less financially taxing, reacquainted myself with the existence of a very powerful tendency to be a hermit and ward off interaction, and ponder how much can be achieved with a bit of effort, and how good it feels.
I didn’t set out to watch shite tv to examine my own life, obv. I just put it in to distract me from the actual exercise thing. But it’s been very interesting and reminded me a lot about myself. I wouldn’t go as far as to say it was inspiring but it’s given me pause for thought.
Netflix, sister. Crap tv and see what mindless trash gives you a flicker of intuition. 😂😂

Do you have enough money saved to take a break and really reconsider things?

It sounds like you might need time to reset, review and rest before making a major career decision that may or may not work out.

If you're an ENTP you are a natural leader, a visionary, perhaps impulsive, unconventional and certainly not a follower.

You need to be kind and compassionate with yourself whilst you work this out. Maybe book a retreat or something.

To encourage you further, change can be just what we need. I made a big transition from marketing and comms to pension consultation when I was in my late 30s.

Seriously, all the very best. You sound like a smashing character and the world still needs you! X

Get a job in a shop and write a book.

Seriously. I have had a similar journey...I understand the burnt out feeling. It's awful. A nice, simple job...probably not enough money but perhaps you could do just a little of the online work?

@sergeilavrov

My very talented executive PA has a MSc in Psychology

That’s interesting! When I ask myself when was I most happy at work, it was during a temporary holiday job as a PA. Are there really flexible hours? I guess that matters less. Getting paid just under six figures would be brilliant, too!

Ok, where do I sign up?

There are opportunities like this, if you can frame your skills in the right way
I wonder if this is what’re I need help? I’ve no idea how I would frame my skills or put myself forwards for a job like this.

The HR post sounds less interesting and I’m guessing would need me to retrain.

Positions like this crop up on UK bases with the military too.
Does anyone know how I would access those adverts? I wonder, realistically, how likely I would be to be successful?

Hmm you’ve given me some food for thought. Thank you!

@nachthexe

Netflix, sister. grin Crap tv and see what mindless trash gives you a flicker of intuition. 😂😂

🤣 I’m not much of a TV watcher, but maybe I should start!

@FTstepmum

Do you have enough money saved to take a break and really reconsider things?

Sadly not! This IS that moment of reconsideration... problem is, I haven’t got anywhere. I already “leapt” in a sense, when I gave up my tenureship.

If you're an ENTP you are a natural leader, a visionary, perhaps impulsive, unconventional and certainly not a follower.
Yes! People do tell me that I’m a natural leader. I do tend to go off and do my own thing.

Thank you for encouragement. Yes, change is exactly what I need. I just can’t believe my working life is reduced to just a few hours on the laptop each day.

Seriously, all the very best. You sound like a smashing character and the world still needs you!

What a lovely thing to say! Thank you so much

@nachthexe

Imposter syndrome is just taken for granted... Don’t let imposter syndrome drive you out.

Sadly, I think it already did this when I left my lectureship

@FortunesFave

Get a job in a shop and write a book.

This did cross my mind, but I am a rubbish writer. The book thing is a bit cliched. The shop thing has sometimes sounded good. As you suggest, what’s not to like about a nice, simple job...

probably not enough money but perhaps you could do just a little of the online work?

I’m already doing a very small amount. There’s just not the opportunity for much more in this particular work. I need a proper new job, realistically.

Thank you!

I think you could think about setting up as a virtual PA, possibly specialising in working for psychologists. I think they charge around £18-£48(!) an hour, though mainly at the lower end. All the work is done flexibly from home and you might enjoy the whole thing of setting up, branding and marketing your business.

You could complement this with a side business such as selling crafts/books/whatever you are interested in on eBay/Etsy etc or training as a keep-fit instructor or something (I think there’s a demand for people who will teach chair-based classes to older adults etc).

Overall I would suggest thinking about the sort of live you want to lead and what’s important to you and then find something to fit.