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Original poster

Been blocked on fb by colleague and have no idea why? WWYD?

95 replies

waitingforthehammertofall · 14/08/2020 13:42

I discovered last night that I have been blocked by a work colleague who I work with regularly. I can hand on heart say I have never said a bad word about this person to anyone and can not think of any reason why they would do this. I highly rate this person for the work they do. I know I've been blocked as asked dh to search for them and he can see the person. I cannot search for them at all.

Should I just act like nothing has happened when I go to work next or ask the person outright?

The only thing I'm worried about is that someone has made up that I've said something about this person, I havent even mentioned this person in conversation to anyone. There seems to he a lot of people stirring things but I'm very careful not to get involved or comment on things, I have just observed.

I feel really upset and it makes it awkward working so closely with this person

You cant accidentally block someone can you?

OP posts:
BigBadVoodooHat · 14/08/2020 14:38

I don't really know what the grown up neutral way to ask him would be.

That's because there isn't one.

Please don't ask a work colleague why they've blocked you on social media, OP. I'm cringing at the idea of it.

BigBadVoodooHat · 14/08/2020 14:41

Ha has, yes! I think I may just come off it actually!

I've 'hidden' everyone apart from a handful (less than 10) particularly good friends, and now just use it for work/business groups (and I wouldn't even use it for that if the non-fb platforms in my industry were more active).

It's so much better that way Smile

Original poster
waitingforthehammertofall · 14/08/2020 14:41

Ok, thanks. I guess I was just worried that I had somehow upset them in some way as I hate that thought. But...I cant think of anything I could have done. You're right, I wont ask, it is cringe...

OP posts:
gamerchick · 14/08/2020 14:43

@ChicCroissant

OP, it is fine for your colleague not to have you on FB. For someone who 'doesn't share much at all' you seem to be putting a lot of effort into tracking him down, getting a colleague and your DH to check if they can see him. It won't make it awkward to work with him.
A crush can go either way?
1WildTeaParty · 14/08/2020 14:49

You should be able to tell if he is upset with you about something... when you next meet in person.

Addressing the matter then would be a more reliable method of sorting things out than worrying about the ins and outs of FB.

Redwinestillfine · 14/08/2020 14:56

I would never be Facebook friends with anyone I worked with. Just wouldn't do it.

ErinBrockovich · 14/08/2020 14:57

Were you friends and then he blocked you or did he just stop you being able to search for him?
If he’s actually taken you off as one of his friends, it’s more likely you’ve done something to upset him. Are you senior to him? Maybe he’s worried you’ll not approve of some of his posts?

I used to have loads of colleagues but then decided to stop accepting more. It just got awkward when they moved on. Should I delete them? Or leave them as friends when I don’t see them anymore? I just stopped accepting anymore requests and every now and again I’ll delete a load that I don’t speak to anymore.
I wouldn’t take it personally.

Ke1o9 · 14/08/2020 14:57

My friend's brother blocked me. Never met the guy. So weird. My friend always looks like she's talking to herself. I can find him on my old profile. No idea why haha.

Don't waste your energy on him. You can't be everyone's cup of tea. You also can't waste your time trying to figure him out. Just stuff it. If he doesn't like you then that's his problem not yours. One day you can always say I can't find you on Facebook Infront of others. See what he says. But I wouldn't bother. Always drama in every work place.

I also think social media is a nightmare for privacy. My mum's on mine. I hate it. I block her from stuff because she joins in and talks to me Infront of people like she's still my mummy and i still cause her grief. I'm 31 and not lived with her for ten years. I wanted to share a post yesterday about recommendations to wear masks in casual sex. I knew my friends would see the humour in it but didn't want my mum joining in or seeing me being abit daft with mates.

I also now have school gate mums on there. Aghhhh it's hard to be yourself with everyone in the same viewing area.

simitra · 14/08/2020 14:58

This kind of thread is why I rarely bother with farcebook. I used it once to look up old friends who had emigrated. I could never take so called social media so seriously let alone be upset that someone blocked me. Its like living life at second hand.

PlanDeRaccordement · 14/08/2020 14:59

Maybe his wife is insecure and snooped his FB page, thought you were too good looking to be a friend and demanded he block you.

whereistherum · 14/08/2020 15:02

but I'm very careful not to get involved or comment on things, I have just observed.

Maybe he is aware something is being said about him and you just observed it being said

Mrsmadevans · 14/08/2020 15:03

Are you overthinking this a bit OP. l block ppl all the time , mainly because l don't think of them as a friend, more of an acquaintance, work colleagues would come under this .

LonginesPrime · 14/08/2020 15:05

I guess I was just worried that I had somehow upset them in some way as I hate that thought

Even if you had, he clearly doesn't want to have it out with you or he would have done so.

As I'm sure you realise, he doesn't owe you an explanation as to why he doesn't want you seeing his social media, but I wouldn't assume it's because you've done anything to upset him or because he hates you or anything - it's just his personal life and his personal preferences and he's entitled to that privacy.

Unless he indicates otherwise, I'd just interpret the reason as being about him, not you.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 14/08/2020 15:05

So within a day of this discovery (how did you even notice) you've got upset, overthought it, discussed it with your husband and a colleague, and got both of them to check facebook to see if they are blocked too, and also got your colleague to check his friends list.

Someone has a crush .... and it's not him.

Maybe you're inadvertently making your crush obvious and he is embarrassed.

squirrelsbizaar · 14/08/2020 15:06

He might just have his closest work friends on facebook, people that he trusts.
And I don't mean this to sound hurtful, but you sound a little lacking in self awareness and healthy boundaries. I can understand the curiosity and I might feel a bit miffed in a similar situation, but I wouldn't go around asking my colleagues about it and getting other people to check the account, let alone consider confronting them about it.
You say that you have never said a bad word about this individual, but people form opinions on us based on our behaviour as a whole, so if that is typical behaviour for you, then tbh I am not surprised he had blocked you. Even if its unintentional your behaviour would be off putting to me and I would swerve you too.

CaptainMyCaptain · 14/08/2020 15:06

I blocked someone who I used to work with because of her vaguely right wing posts. She then did another Friend request and I gave in but Unfollowed her so she doesn't know I can't see her crap. I'll quite likely never see her again anyway. A lot of my Facebook posts are quite political, certainly nothing personal I wouldn't want anyone to see. So she is apparently quite happy to see my Leftie stuff but I can't see hers.

gamerchick · 14/08/2020 15:07

I also think social media is a nightmare for privacy. My mum's on mine. I hate it. I block her from stuff because she joins in and talks to me Infront of people like she's still my mummy and i still cause her grief. I'm 31 and not lived with her for ten years. I wanted to share a post yesterday about recommendations to wear masks in casual sex. I knew my friends would see the humour in it but didn't want my mum joining in or seeing me being abit daft with mates

My worst nightmare Grin I'd never have my parents on my Facebook. I think my dad was a bit hurt but it didn't make any difference. Parents and their adult SM don't mix.

gamerchick · 14/08/2020 15:08

*offsprings

Original poster
waitingforthehammertofall · 14/08/2020 15:13

I dont have a crush. I'd be the same with any colleague I worked with or friend that I see regularly! . But maybe I'm a bit paranoid especially with all the backstabbing etc that goes on there

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 14/08/2020 15:17

I'd be the same with any colleague I worked with or friend that I see regularly!

That is really intense behaviour. Maybe if it was a really close friend who had blocked you after years of friendship it would be more understandable, but to go to those extremes for a colleague really isn't normal.

Original poster
waitingforthehammertofall · 14/08/2020 15:18

I just wanted some neutral advice and now I know I'm being stupid and over sensitive.

Thanks for replying everyone.

OP posts:
thehumblediamond · 14/08/2020 15:18

@waitingforthehammertofall

No, i dont share much at all. The occasional picture of my children, sharing missing pers you know...Nothing political or anything
I have deleted people who share missing persons posts on FB as I think it's such a bad idea to share them (apart from official police ones). I recently blocked a person living in England who repeatedly shares posts of dogs and people missing in the USA. I doubt they will walk down the street in 'average English town' and it gets irritating.
midsomermurderess · 14/08/2020 15:21

'Maybe he's got a crush on you'. Bloody hell, the nonsense people come out with on here.

Original poster
waitingforthehammertofall · 14/08/2020 15:23

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

I'd be the same with any colleague I worked with or friend that I see regularly!

That is really intense behaviour. Maybe if it was a really close friend who had blocked you after years of friendship it would be more understandable, but to go to those extremes for a colleague really isn't normal.

I'm not going to spend my whole weekend thinking about it. I asked a friend then I just wanted some advice on here whether it was cringy to ask. Now I know it is, I wont ask. Does noone else ever want advice on something. Wish I never asked now. I'm not a weirdo, I just dont like the thought of upsetting anyone!
OP posts:
waitingforthehammertofall · 14/08/2020 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.